Listening actually brings you more gains than talking a lot about yourself! The 4 rules will teach you to be a good listener and easily extract success stories from other people’s stories!

1. Give your full attention

A good listener can make the other person feel safe - let him know that you are truly willing to listen to what he has to say. This does not necessarily mean "don't interrupt" or "maintain eye contact." The key is that your attention must be entirely on the speaker and not do anything extraneous while listening.

Psychologists are undoubtedly the best listeners, but they rarely make eye contact with the narrator. Instead, they sit casually and relax, staring at one place (such as a fish tank), while the narrator says No detail escapes their ears.

2. Silence is golden

Don’t rush to argue or offer opinions when listening. When the other person expresses an opinion, rebuttal immediately can make the conversation unpleasant. If the other party feels that they are not understood during an argument, they will hide their thoughts, preventing you from gaining experience. Therefore, no matter how important the point you want to express, do not impose your subjective ideas on others.

If you feel that the other person really needs your feedback, you can ask a few questions or talk about your own similar experiences. This is all about making the other person feel more relaxed about sharing with you, rather than shifting the focus to you.

3. Selective listening

Respect the other person and avoid becoming a "trash can" for his negative emotions. Some topics may not be worth listening to at all. When the other person keeps making irrelevant complaints, try to change the topic and choose a topic that interests you or is important to him.

In this way, your friend can realize that you are a trustworthy friend on key issues. As long as there is a real need, you will be willing to take the time to seriously share his happiness and share his troubles. Who wouldn’t cherish such a friend?

4. Practical details

Just listening blindly will be counterproductive - the other party will not know whether you understand what he means, and will gradually lose interest in talking. Therefore, in every topic, it is important to master the scale of "questioning", "neutrality" and "repetition".

For example, if you want to get more information and understand all aspects of the problem, you can ask something like "What you just mentioned... is very interesting, can you elaborate on it?" "Do you think this is the problem? ?", "What do you mean..." and other questions; if you want to show that you are interested in the conversation and encourage the other party to continue talking, you can use neutral comments such as "Nice" and "That's interesting"; if you want to find out if there is any misinterpretation as early as possible To make him feel that you are trying to keep up with his thinking, you can use "If I understand correctly...", "You mean..." etc. If your friend can get such a timely and detailed response, I believe he will talk to you and treat you as a confidant. In addition, never rush to conclusions. Listening to other people's conclusions first will bring you more inspiration and thinking, which is more beneficial to you.

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