Fumi Chamon, the author of the popular Japanese urban romance novels "Tokyo Love Story" and "Love White Paper", once used a very incisive metaphor to describe the differences between men and women in their views on love. He said: "Love for men is like being in an empty space. Hanging paintings in the heart is like listening to music for a woman.”

Think about it, there can be several paintings hanging in a room at the same time, but only one melody can always flow in it. Chai Menwen tries to find a rational explanation for men's philandering, while also emphasizing women's persistence and single-mindedness in love. But what’s interesting is that this guru who considers himself a love expert may be in trouble when facing the fashionable and powerful “new strong woman”! Because it is said that some avant-garde women now believe that in their marriages, in addition to their husbands, there should be other lovers to take care of them. With the irrigation of more love, they can not only maintain their youth, but also give them a peaceful marriage. Add some romantic excitement.

When I was commenting on the results of an online survey on the current erotic concepts of Chinese women, I said that the vast majority of Chinese women (even foreign women who we think are open-minded!) They all yearn for absolute and exclusive love. Those women who call themselves "trendy and bold", when the night is quiet, deep down in their hearts are still longing for simple and beautiful love. The reason why they are willing to take risks to pursue the pleasure of extramarital lovers is very important. The degree of love is to satisfy or fill the gap in the soul, because everyone's understanding of love depends on her growth experience. Maybe she has seen the pain caused by an unhappy marriage; maybe she has given everything in return for nothing. The betrayal of infidelity; perhaps even, she just proves her existence with unconventional cynicism. In short, the superficial prosperity is actually just an attempt to hide an unstable heart.

Maybe what I said earlier will arouse criticism from avant-garde women or be ridiculed as feudal. In fact, my anxiety comes from this. I am very worried that we no longer believe in love and that there are still things in the world. Beautiful true feelings, we no longer believe that we are worthy of a happy marriage. Because we are afraid of being hurt, we turn around first, put on armor first, be cynical first, and learn betrayal first, so as not to be caught off guard when bad luck finally comes. In the end, we blindfold our hearts, close the door, and dare not recognize true love even in the face of it. We wander wildly without expecting any beauty.

Actually, I have another deeper worry, that is, the reason for extramarital lovers is just because of the self-indulgence of "as long as I like it, there is nothing wrong". For a smart woman who is completely financially independent, "I" has been the starting point of all thinking since she was a child. She is not used to using "we" to measure the code of conduct in life. Therefore, "I" must be the center of the world and "my" rights and interests. That's the most important thing. In my many years of working as a marriage therapist, I have seen many such women. A few lucky girls find men who are willing to use her as their axis, while the majority of unlucky girls continue to look for a utopia that does not exist in their youth. .

In fact, I very much agree that women should not get married, live a free life, control their own money, have an independent personality, find a male partner when needed, and when they are tired of waving their sleeves, as long as they feel like it Happiness, no one else has the right to interfere. But if you still yearn for marriage, a stable relationship and a family, then once the two of you say "I do", you must be responsible for your own decision, responsible for each other's commitment, and truly understand that they will never be together again. No longer [me] but [us]!

Due to work, I often have the opportunity to meet many outstanding professional women. Whenever the work is over and we have afternoon tea together, they will always confide their confusion to me. What always moves me is that these senior women Excellent women with high academic qualifications and high achievements, after taking off their professional masks of competence, all admit that deep down they value family more and the success of marriage. Whenever they talk about their beloved husbands, the look in their eyes shows The gentleness he showed was completely different from his usual capableness.

Having been married for nearly 25 years, I fully understand that marriage can sometimes be boring and suffocating. Facing the lively and gorgeous scenery outside, I sometimes have the urge to go out. A while ago, a friend who had been married for just over 10 years told me that I was the envy of their young friends, who all hoped to have a marriage as beautiful and happy as mine. I jokingly said at the time that I was lucky because neither my husband nor I happened to meet a suitable partner for an extramarital affair, so we are still with the same person to this day.

In fact, deep down, I am proud, because I know that because of love, we can stand firm when facing temptation; because of love, we can learn to breathe when we can’t breathe; because of love, we can learn to breathe when we can’t breathe; With love, we are willing to wait quietly in boring days; and because of love, we put the other person's well-being first in our hearts.

This article comes from adult.6kmall.com and is published by netizens. This site only quotes it for reference. It does not mean that this site agrees with the views of the article. If you believe that the content and intellectual property rights of this article infringe upon your interests, please contact us.