"Most of the cheating cases nowadays are not cheating, but cheating addiction, which is a psychological disorder." Recently, the emotional and psychological writer Su Qin specifically stated in the new book "Learning Mental Techniques from Scratch" In response to the increasingly common phenomenon of cheating in today's society, we have come up with emotional diagnosis and treatment prescriptions.

Su Qin’s personal experience comes from recent consultation statistics. "There are two major problems that come to me. One is for unmarried and leftover women, and the other is for married people to have extramarital affairs. The two account for nearly 80% of all problems." Su Qin said: "Last year, people came for consultation because of extramarital affairs. It is more than double that of 2007. Before 2007, family conflicts between Chinese couples mainly focused on issues such as personality and relationship between husband and wife, but in the past year, about 80% of the disputes between couples have focused on "extramarital affairs." In the past, when couples encountered extramarital affairs, it was usually men who cheated. However, in the past two years, the cheating rate among married women has increased significantly, and more than 60% of them have experienced physical or mental cheating to varying degrees."

There is even a saying that more and more white-collar women regard cheating as a way to relieve marital pressure and as a "vent for negative emotions". Some people shout that "cheating can save marriages" because most of them Most of them have no intention of divorce, but just use it to transfer possible conflicts.

"In the future, cheating may become more common. On the one hand, the younger generation has been pampered by their parents since childhood, and their vanity makes them more likely to cheat in the future. On the other hand, many people are more practical when choosing a spouse, sometimes sacrificing feelings. , so I hope to find another emotional sustenance after marriage. "Su Qin believes that the more advantaged people are, the higher their tolerance for cheating is, and they will no longer insist on divorce just because of one cheating. Nowadays, women are also beginning to do so. Shift from "fighting for social status" to "fighting for emotional freedom."

"In our statistics, more than 50% of people believe that cheating is an 'accident of God'. Although they regret the consequences, they think they had an extramarital affair out of ignorance. When it comes to whether the old tricks will happen again, everyone is generally silent and think 'I can't tell.'" In Su Qin's view, the cost of cheating in our society is too low, and now that the Internet has accelerated cost reduction, people who find it difficult to feel emotionally satisfied in their busy lives have found a more convenient way to communicate online. Way.

As soon as cheating is discovered, it is unwise to scream for divorce and break up. Su Qin thinks: "I remember once seeing a sign at the door of a marriage registration office, which meant 'men occasionally Women should not take cheating seriously, and it is recommended not to get divorced. It is a bit dumbfounding, but my suggestion is to stabilize the other person first if it happens, because hysteria will only push the wavering person out. In addition, our marriage also needs annual inspection. ', let's consider and reflect for a period of time to increase the maturity of our understanding."

In today's world where cheating is becoming more and more "indifferent", in addition to avoiding "greedy", the most important thing is to maintain the freshness of marriage. "Many people live similar lives every day. Over time, they develop intimacy phobia. More women regard marriage as the end point and are less willing to continue to give after marriage. In fact, we need to fall in love like young people. How much passion can you invest will determine your ability "How much can you gain?" Su Qin said, "Don't distract your attention after getting married. Everyone has the mentality of competing for favors. You can let him make decisions for himself with small things, such as the color of small furniture, so that he can continue to feel involved. You pamper, which can alleviate attraction issues."

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