QWhy does he always "go straight to the point"?

My husband likes to touch my vulva very much, not only when having sex, but also when watching TV, doing work in the study, and even when dining out and sitting side by side waiting for food. Anyway, as long as he feels that he will not be watched by others. When I arrive, he will "take the opportunity" to touch me twice. I hate it when he does this, I feel like an inflatable doll for him to "enjoy". I told him many times but he still wouldn't change, and we had many arguments about this. what do I do?

AThe vast majority of men like to have their partners touch their genitals, so that they can enjoy sexual pleasure quickly and effectively. Sexologists explain that this is because their sexual organs grow outside the body, while in women, on the contrary, they need the entire body to be in the best state after being orgasmic. Therefore, women usually avoid their partner's sexual organs and touch other parts of their body, such as their forehead or cheeks. But men especially like to "get straight to the point" and touch their partner's vulva or breasts as soon as they get started - in fact, no one has any ill intentions, and they all use the way they most desire to satisfy each other.

The next time he wants to touch you, ask him, "Would it be okay for him to touch you in return?" Then take the opportunity to tell him what kind of caress you crave. Or, you can also play a promise game - when one party proposes to "play touching", if the other party agrees, he has the right to stipulate "specifically how and where to touch". Any game requires a balance of rights between both parties, and the same is true for sex.

Q I’ve been having nightmares lately??

Recently, maybe because of too much pressure, I always have nightmares at night, being chased by some scary things, sometimes assassins, sometimes witches. They say dreams are a reflection of reality, how should I interpret these dreams?

A dream usually reflects the dreamer's psychological state during this period, although many of us are unwilling to face it when we are awake. The general principle of dream interpretation is - don't get too entangled in the storyline of the dream, but focus on experiencing the emotions and feelings that emerge in the dream.

For example, the theme of hunting. Similar dreams are very common and many people experience them more than once. Usually, it means that the dreamer internally believes that he has done something wrong and should be punished. Therefore, no matter what the monster is that is chasing you, the feelings it brings are extremely real - nervousness, worry, fear??

Generally speaking, the premise of being punished is mostly because of There are too many taboos hidden in the dreamer's heart, and most taboos will lose their magic once they are realized. For example, in some families, "completely obedient" is an iron rule that children must abide by, otherwise they will be punished; but after adulthood, this rule becomes a restriction. It's a pity that your description of the dream is really limited, and Hers can't give a more detailed answer here. If the problem of nightmares is very serious and has affected your life and health, it is recommended that you seek help from a professional psychological institution, which may just open up a blind spot in your life.

Q There are a lot of parties at the end of the year, and it is precisely this type of event that I fear the most. It would be inappropriate not to go, and it would be like a fool to go. I envy the kind of sparkling party queens, they are always very popular and they also play HIGH. How can I be like them?

A If you want to have a high level of fun at a party, try not to care too much about whether you are "likeable" or not.

Whenever we repeatedly think about silly questions like "does it look good" or "does it fit?", our inner selves inevitably become two unrelated people: one is as a person; The observer is the critic, while the other is the wretch who is questioned and judged.

This inner fragmentation consumes so much of our psychological energy that we are unable to devote ourselves fully to every "here and now." You might as well learn from those sparkling PARTY QUEEN, actively look for and actively approach the person you like, and let yourself get HIGH first. People always like those who like themselves. If you are interested in the people around you, they will naturally be interested in you. The next time you go to a party, remember to grab a glass of red wine to help you get lightly hypnotized. Relax, life is not always an interview.

Q’s parents-in-law are always too frugal??

Every winter, my parents-in-law come to our small home to stay for a while, and my hard days follow. The biggest problem is that they are too thrifty and ask me for credit like a child all day long, "I saved a few cents on the potatoes I bought today" and "Where did I ride a bike instead of taking the bus?" I'm so annoyed. They had to say with a smile: "You are really good at living!" This morning, when they were walking, they heard that a supermarket far away from home was selling eggs, so they kicked us out of the bedroom and forced us to buy them. I'm really going crazy with them!

ASince you also said that they are "like children", why not just pretend that there are two more children living in the house who need you to make decisions? Children like to take credit from their parents: "Look how well-behaved and cute I am!" This is because they are not sure whether they are well-behaved and cute enough. Similarly, your parents-in-law follow the "good person standards" of that era and strive to reflect their own value (being able to save money and being able to run a household), but they are not sure enough yet and strongly need your positive feedback.

To learn to make the elderly happy without affecting their mood, we first need to regard ourselves as self-responsible adults. It is unrealistic to change their concepts and habits that they have had for many years. Conflict is inevitable when two generations live together. Improving the insensitivity to getting along can minimize friction. To put it simply, it is to strengthen the nerves in your ears and don’t always bother yourself with other people’s opinions. If you are always sulking like a child and being obedient at the same time, the result will only make the elderly believe that everything they do is right.

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