Full-time housewives should not give up their careers

“When a man cheats, a woman must bear the responsibility.” Xu Wenjun said, “Among the people who come to the hotline for consultation, a quarter of those who inquire about extramarital affairs are full-time housewives.” He said that this is because stay-at-home wives tend to focus on their children and neglect taking care of their husbands and meeting their needs. At the same time, they often no longer improve themselves, and the gap between them and their husbands widens. He suggested that full-time wives must return to work and find confidence and a sense of accomplishment after their children are sent to kindergarten! "The more you rely on him, the more alienated he will be from you. As long as there is a job and income, women will not have a dependent mentality. Don't believe a man's words, saying that he will support you, so he gives up his career!"

Talking about the reasons for extramarital affairs, Xu Wenjun introduced a view that men are prone to fall in love at first sight, are prone to physical impulsivity, and have a curiosity mentality, while women are not. If the wife can provide her husband with physical and psychological happiness at home, she can effectively block extramarital affairs. He believes that husband and wife should interact equally and wives should not complain at every turn. "What men are most afraid of are resentful women, shrews, and fierce women. If a woman becomes these three types of women, men will also change accordingly. This will lead to vicious interactions." As for how to deal with the emergence of a "mistress", Xu Wenjun said that if the husband Making a mistake once is acceptable, but both parties must work hard to repair the marriage and avoid learning from past mistakes.

Don’t get married if you can’t fall in love

“When choosing a spouse, you must be able to love her; if you can’t fall in love, don’t get married!” Xu Wenjun added, “If a man doesn’t love a woman, If he gets up, he will have no sense of family responsibility, he will not want to go home after marriage, and he will not have enough motivation for work and career. If he loves this family and his spouse very much, then he will work hard to develop himself and have a strong sense of responsibility. "He said, a good wife. It is the driving force for a man's growth and the best way to prevent him from having an extramarital affair. If you are not satisfied, don’t get married! Because only those who truly love can find happiness.

The pain of breakup is only due to "chemistry"

In addition to married women, there are also many young people who seek help from psychological hotlines, and lovelorn is the reason why many people seek help. Why is falling out of love painful? Xu Wenjun explained that this is related to chemicals in the brain. "When you are with another person, the brain nerves will secrete a chemical substance - happy substance, which will form inertia and exist. If you want to break up, then the happy substance will not be secreted, and the person will be in pain and it will be difficult to break up. Time to adapt.

How to alleviate the pain of losing happy substances? Can eating chocolate solve the problem? Xu Wenjun believes that chocolate cannot change the problem, but finding another person to replace it can create new happy chemical components. It can reduce pain, but it cannot completely replace it. However, he also emphasized that this method is only meaningful for psychological pain, but it will bring greater pain to one's own life.