I once saw a story in a magazine: A woman lived a happy married life, but for some reason she would dream about having sex with her former lover for days, and sometimes she would even be intimate with her father. Every time she woke up and remembered the dream, she felt embarrassed and ashamed, but she did not dare to tell her husband. Over time, she became depressed and became ill.

This woman is not an exception. Psychological experts say that everyone is likely to have sex dreams. Most adult men don’t take it seriously, but adolescent boys and adult women often feel ashamed and panic about it. , carrying a heavy psychological burden. "Actually, this is a normal phenomenon. Dreams are the fulfillment of subconscious wishes. The more morally strong a person is, the more they will forcibly suppress the idea of ​​getting close to others. The deeper the suppression in reality, the greater the rebound in the dream. . ”

1. Face sexual dreams, no need to be nervous and blame yourself

Psychologists will meet many people who seek help due to sexual dreams. Both adolescent boys and girls are likely to have sex dreams. For example, boys aged 13 or 14 sometimes have nocturnal emissions, which are caused by sex dreams. For example, a 15-year-old boy often dreams that his math teacher seduces him. As soon as the teacher takes off his clothes in the dream, he has a wet dream. Because he felt this was extremely embarrassing, every time he saw his math teacher, he would be so nervous that he could not speak, and his academic performance plummeted.

Women are also prone to sexual dreams, especially unmarried women who will dream about sexual contact such as hugging and kissing their father. However, due to the influence of conservative sexual concepts and ethics, the dream will cause great fear and fear in the dreamer. I blame myself and even become distracted and depressed.

“Actually, both the former and the latter should understand that it is normal to have sexual dreams, and that they are not obscene or lewd people.” Experts say that the tendency of adolescent men and women to have sexual dreams is due to gradual sexual physiological changes. Mature reactions and sexual dreams can help them relieve their unsatisfied sexual needs, which is beneficial to normal physical and psychological development. The "Electra or Oedipus complex" is innate. Women not only like to be close to their fathers, but also often use their fathers as their criteria for choosing a mate. However, they have incest anxiety subconsciously, so that they forcibly suppress their desire to be close. "It is suppressed and forgotten consciously, but it will be remembered unconsciously. It will be reflected in the dream that does not need to be disguised, and it will become a dream about being close to the father."

2. Sex dreams may indicate that the sexual relationship is not good. Harmony

To face sex dreams, on the one hand, you should be relaxed and not bear a heavy psychological burden. On the other hand, you should also carefully examine the dreamer himself to look for possible underlying deep-seated problems. Take Ms. Zhang, who is nearly forty years old. Recently, she has repeatedly dreamed of having an affair with her old lover. She was extremely happy in the dream, but she felt deeply ashamed when she woke up. After this contradictory situation lasted for a month, she finally couldn't bear the torture and sought help from a psychological counselor. After some serious talk, Ms. Zhang was surprised to find that the original cause of the sex dream was the disharmony in the sexual life of the couple. "She felt dissatisfied with her current sex life and didn't want to tell her husband, so she had to endure it. But the complaint had taken root deeply, and she had a good sexual relationship with her ex-lover. Akari thought it was immoral, so it popped up in her dream. . ”

Psychologists say that sexual dreams do not necessarily mean dreaming about people. Column or strip-shaped objects such as snakes, bugs, bullets, and chopsticks are symbols of sex and male genitals. But when sexual dreams appear in this form, it means that the dreamer is deeply repressed and does not dare to express even direct sexual contact in the dream, which has become unconscious sexual repression. "Most of the dreamers are women, because Chinese women are very repressed in this regard, especially if they had sexual trauma in childhood, such as being molested by men, seeing adult genitals or sexual behavior, or just seeing men wearing underpants, etc. It will deepen their fear of sex, which may manifest as sexual frigidity in adulthood."

3. Inner desires need to be channeled

"If you feel good in bed, then in life. "I won't scream when I'm pregnant." This seemingly vulgar sentence actually explains from a certain aspect why many women in life always like to complain. Although it does not necessarily refer to sex directly, from a psychological point of view, sex is not pure lovemaking. Sex can make us feel satisfied and happy, just like people in love will feel happy when they smile for each other, and after satisfaction, they will feel happy. Tolerance comes with it.

Psychologists say that blindly suppressing sexual needs and desires may lead to sexual perversions, such as voyeurism, self-abuse, self-mutilation, and harm to others, which will also have an impact on the relationship between the sexes. "It's better to speak out than to hold it in your heart. The boy who dreamed of the math teacher was still uneasy when he came for consultation, but he could laugh openly when he returned. However, not everyone has such determination, so writing a diary is also a kind of guidance. , way to relax.”

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