Parents of young children in Guangzhou "can't speak" when faced with sex education, experts offer advice

"Where do I come from?", "Why do some children in kindergarten have to pee standing up"... When children When you are asked questions like these with a serious look on your face, how would you answer? Do you respond simply and vaguely, avoid answering, or give your child serious answers? There is actually a big problem behind these seemingly simple questions, which is children’s sex education.

The reporter recently conducted random surveys and interviews with many parents and found that most parents are confused about how to provide sex education to their children. They feel embarrassed to answer questions related to their children and do not know how to answer them. Some experts said that children cannot deliberately avoid sexual issues and suggested that parents guide their children to learn sexual knowledge in a natural state. At the same time, sex education for children should begin in kindergarten. To change the current dilemma of sex education, the most critical thing is to change the concepts of teachers and parents.

Parents: Feel embarrassed about providing sex education to children

“Where do I come from?” Almost every child has asked this question. "Picked it from the trash." This is the most classic way of prevarication used by traditional Chinese parents.

“What confusions about sex education have you encountered?” In this online survey launched by a certain website in September this year, most parents chose “feeling embarrassed and unable to speak”. "I don't know how to talk about it just right. If I talk too much, I'm afraid that the children will lose their innocence." Ms. Yang, who lives in Luohu District, said that every time her 4-and-a-half-year-old son asked this question, she always said: "When you grow up Once you understand, you will understand.”

Ms. Lu has recently been troubled by her 4-year-old son’s question of “Where do I come from?” “I told him before that there is a seed in the mother’s belly, and when it grows up, it will It became you. But one day he said to me, ‘Mom, there is a seed in my belly too.’ I couldn’t help but laugh, and I didn’t know how to answer this question for him.”

Getting under her mother's skirt, caressing her breasts in public, and exposing her sexual organs in crowded places - this is not Crayon Shin-chan in the cartoon, but the recent behavior of Ms. Zhang's 4-year-old son. "Parenting experts say that this is a sign of children's curiosity about sexual characteristics, but I am still a little worried. Every time he does this, I get very angry, fearing that he will learn bad things in the future." Ms. Zhang said that scolding did not work, but instead aroused The child's desire to continue being naughty and mischievous. "Now my husband will try to tell him that boys and girls have their own private space, and they can't show it to others casually, and they can't look at other people's private space casually. Just like Pleasant Goat can't look at Beautiful Goat casually. Other than saying this, no I don’t know if there is any better way. We are really confused about the education of our children.”

Mr. Ma is just as confused as Ms. Lu and Ms. Zhang. His 5-year-old daughter Xiaoying peed her pants in kindergarten not long ago because she wanted to "pee standing up" like a boy. Mr. Ma couldn't help laughing when he recalled this interesting story about his daughter. "She went home and asked her mother why some children could go to the toilet without squatting down. Her mother's initial answer was, 'Because they have an organ to pee, but you don't.' So her daughter asked her mother to take her to the supermarket to buy one. "Mr. Ma and his wife discussed that they should tell their daughter in simple and plain language what the inherent characteristics of each gender are. "Later I could only explain to her that boys pee standing up and girls pee squatting down; girls can wear skirts, but boys generally don't; most boys don't wear braids."

Reporter Random interviews with more than a dozen parents revealed that most parents will not deliberately explain sexual knowledge to their children. They will only guide their children when they have questions or have certain behaviors. During the guidance process, most parents will face confusion. , some feel embarrassed and cannot speak, some do not know how to explain it themselves, and some parents will choose to simply deal with it and will not explain it in depth. Among them, simple responders account for the majority.

In interviews, reporters found that parents’ lack of awareness of children’s sex education is also widespread. Sometimes, when a child says something like "I want to have a father," parents will feel very happy about the child's innocence, and will even share the child's cute "silly words" with relatives and friends, but will not take the opportunity to tell the child Knowledge of fertility and ethics. Smile and a potential educational opportunity is missed.

Liu Xia, deputy leader of the Pediatric Secretology Group of Guangdong Province and chief physician of the Department of Endocrinology of Shenzhen Children’s Hospital, often finds in the outpatient clinic that many parents neglect sex education for their children, so that their children will be prone to premature puberty. Confused. "Many parents are afraid to talk to their children about sex education, and school health courses on sex education mostly take place after junior high school. Therefore, many children who have precocious puberty problems during their development will be very shy and dare not communicate with their parents."< /p>

Schools: Very “sensitive” to the topic of sex education

Some parents expressed in interviews that they hope to set up sex education courses in schools to popularize sex education knowledge. Parent Ms. Ke believes that if schools provide sex education earlier, children can have a correct understanding of sex, which is a kind of protection for children and puts parents at ease.

In fact, Shenzhen compiled the "Shenzhen Sexual Health Education Reader for Primary and Secondary School Students" (hereinafter referred to as the "Reader") many years ago, and began to carry out sex education in 24 schools in the city in 2004. The pilot requires pilot schools to incorporate sex education into school work plans and provide full-time teachers. It requires no less than 5 class hours per school year for fifth and sixth grade primary school students, no less than 6 class hours per school year for junior middle school students, and no less than 8 class hours for high school students every school year. . After the publication of "Reader", parents complained that the content and pictures of the book were "excessive".

The reporter learned that some pilot schools have had sex education courses, but for many reasons, most schools still classify such courses as part of the health education curriculum. The Shenzhen Municipal Education Bureau stated in the "Guidance on Carrying out Sexual Health Education in Primary and Secondary Schools" that such education can be carried out in various forms, such as lectures and activities. As a result, some schools in Shenzhen began to intentionally weaken the teaching content of this non-key examination and merged its teaching into the health education curriculum.

According to reports, the state has issued relevant documents on how to provide sex education to primary and secondary school students. In 2007, the Ministry of Education also promulgated a guideline for health education for primary and secondary school students. However, the final survey found that the results were not very satisfactory. There are basically no professional teachers for sex education in schools. “Many schools only talk about puberty education or health education and avoid topics involving sex education. This is very different from foreign sex education,” Liu Xia said.

A teacher said that some schools in Shenzhen with psychological counseling teachers more or less share the task of learning and popularizing sexual knowledge. The school's psychological counseling classrooms will provide students with information on physical health during adolescence and growth stages. Consulting lectures and events.

The dean of a primary school in Nanshan District told reporters that their school did not offer special courses on sex education, but it included some sexual knowledge when introducing human organs and health care, and hired full-time psychological teachers to teach people about sex. Educational knowledge points are dispersed into various aspects of health and mental health classes.

The director said that schools are very sensitive when it comes to the topic of sex education, and they are worried that if there is no good entry point or way of expression, it will be self-defeating. She told reporters that due to the general lack of professional sex education lecturers in primary and secondary schools, some social welfare centers have undertaken the work of popularizing sex education. Even so, some schools are not willing to respond and cooperate.

According to his introduction, the Dongjiaotou Community Health Center of Shekou Hospital invited a group of professional lecturers to their school in 2009 to give a lecture on puberty to graduating students. "It mainly talks about the rules of pubertal development and health care from a psychological and physiological perspective. It does not involve too much sexual content." The director recalled that as a public welfare activity aimed at promoting to various schools, the lecture prepared banners for each school , PPT, information and questionnaires, all done completely and professionally. "But some schools are unwilling to host this lecture and have not arranged a time. After all, this is a problem that is generally avoided by various schools."

According to Principal Yang of Yinying No. 2 Kindergarten, most kindergartens in Shenzhen, Primary and secondary schools only distribute sex education or health education materials to students for them to read on their own. Teachers are ashamed to teach and students are ashamed to ask. Students who secretly read the textbooks on their own imagine problems when they encounter problems they don't understand. "Adding fantasy elements to objective things makes it easier for children to become curious."

Liu Xia pointed out that schools are currently neglecting children's sex education, mainly because there are no professionals responsible for education. , and there is no professional training for health education teachers. Therefore, the important responsibility of educating children about sex falls on parents.

Expert: To move forward with sex education, we must first change the attitudes of teachers and parents

Hu Ping, a child sex education expert, said that Chinese parents usually avoid, rebuke, humiliate, ridicule, The traditional way of beating and scolding. Teachers and parents do not understand sex education, so they use an unobjective and unscientific attitude to educate children. Even now, parents born in the 1980s still have many misunderstandings in the sex education of their children, and they have inherited more of the wrong methods and wrong sexual concepts from their parents.

Hu Ping introduced that a little boy in a kindergarten was discovered by his teacher touching his genitals under the quilt during lunch break. The teacher opened the quilt on the spot and called him a hooligan. Hu Ping said that the teacher's humiliating education method will only destroy the child's normal psychological development and make the child feel inferior and subconsciously feel ashamed of this behavior. The correct approach is to follow the natural development. Even if the teacher sees it, do not intervene, let alone ask. "The child's behavior in the quilt did not affect other children. There is no need for the teacher to get angry, and there is no need to ask the child to answer his doubts about sexual knowledge or for the purpose of caring. Just turn a blind eye."

To To change the dilemma of sex education, Hu Ping pointed out that the most critical thing is to change the concepts of teachers and parents. "If teachers and parents don't understand, how can we teach children?" Hu Ping said that adults must know how to respect children and their psychological development laws.

Principal Yang of Yinying Second Kindergarten said that children aged 0-6 will become curious about sex, children aged 6-13 will have further doubts about sex, and children aged 6 will begin to have questions about marriage. sensitive. Sex education should be carried out for children in kindergarten. "Sex education is a stage of knowledge exploration for young children. They are influenced by subjective adult concepts and believe that sex is bad and shameful. Teaching sex knowledge to children when they are young can reduce

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