Age does play an important role in marriage, but it is not age that really determines the stability of a marriage. You must have the concept of integrating with the other person, and your education and life values ​​must be equivalent. These are the factors that determine the stability and stability of a marriage. No internal factors.

The age gap between the happiest men and women

Recently, a survey conducted by European scientists showed that age is a key factor affecting the stability of marriage. Dr. Emmanuel Franier of the University of Bath in the UK conducted a follow-up survey of 1,534 couples. The results showed that the best couple model that can maintain a strong marriage is when both men and women are highly educated and have no history of divorce. At the same time, The man is more than 5 years older than the woman. Researchers say that the age group least prone to conflict is the age group where wives are more than five years younger than their husbands, and their divorce rate is 1/6 that of other marriages.

In addition, a study by the University of Vienna found that if a husband is 4-6 years older than his wife, he will have the most children; and if a husband is 15 years older than his wife, he will have the happiest married life although he will not have many children.

The three major happiness points of this type of marriage have become the pillars of family stability. The first point of happiness is to satisfy women's "Trinity" wishes. Usually, women dream of a Prince Charming who combines the maturity of a father, the care of an elder brother, and the vitality of a friend. The husband is older, more psychologically mature, and more comfortable giving love.

The second happiness point is that older husbands usually have a certain financial foundation, which reduces the chance of financial disputes. The third happiness point is that there is less competition in the family. When the husband is older, women will naturally develop a sense of dependence and obedience, which will reduce the competition for power between husband and wife, and thus reduce friction.

When it comes to the disadvantages of this type of marriage, Zheng Xifu, a psychology professor at South China Normal University, believes that generally speaking, the average life span of men is shorter than that of women. If the husband is much older than his wife, then he may eventually pass away. The wife is left alone.

The older woman and the younger man are also happy

As the saying goes, "the third daughter holds a golden brick", and in ancient my country, there was also the phenomenon of the older daughter-in-law and the younger husband. Nowadays, the relationship between sister and brother is still an indispensable scenery on the map of marriage and love.

In fact, some families where siblings are in love are also very happy. Although some men are young, their mental age is very mature, while although their wives are older, their mental age is still like that of a young girl. Such a family is psychologically similar to a family model where the male is the elder and the female is the younger.

In other sibling families, the husbands have similar temperament characteristics, that is, the men are not very independent and want to continue to look for the feeling of being cared for by their mothers. For such families, there are often some disadvantages. First of all, whether physically or psychologically, women age faster, while men are still in their prime, which can easily destabilize the family. Secondly, age has social significance. In the conventional social evaluation, the relationship between siblings is easy to make people confused and criticized, or derogating men as "not men", or saying that women are "old cows eating young grass", etc. These external comments are in To a certain extent, it will also have an impact on the walls of the home.

Men and women of the same age communicate easily

The 49-year-old US President Obama and his wife Michelle have a 3-year age difference. Their 17 years of happy marriage is enough to classify them as an "ideal couple". Yue Xiaodong, associate professor of the Department of Social Sciences at the Chinese University of Hong Kong, believes that same-age love is not the same age in the narrow sense as we understand it, but that both parties are about the same age and basically belong to the same generation. Gender is the same age as the male and female or the male is less than 3 years older than the female. It can be said that in modern people's minds, this model of marriage and love is undoubtedly the most ideal.

The foundation of same-age love lies in the psychological and physical coordination of both parties. This type of marriage is the most sustainable and has six major benefits. First, it is easy to establish intimate relationships. Second, there is frequent interaction. The third is synchronous growth. Fourth, the needs are consistent. Fifth, support from relatives and friends. Sixth, equality and self-confidence. In short, lovers of the same age have similar social experiences, and they are often of the same mind when encountering life problems. Long-term running-in will make both parties think on the same track, have a clear understanding of each other, and form a common cognitive model.

Although men and women of the same age have many advantages, there are also some problems precisely because of equality. Couples of the same age are prone to competition for rights due to excessive emphasis on equality, and they may often fight over "who has the final say."

The more similar their personalities are, the more affectionate they are

"The above three marriage models all have their advantages and disadvantages. Age does play an important role in marriage, but it is not age that really determines the stability of a marriage." First of all, the word "love" in English is compressed from a Latin sentence , this Latin phrase is "Love is the lasting concern for the life of another".

This reveals the true meaning of love between husband and wife, which is to love only the partner himself, rather than focusing on external conditions, which is what we often say "height is not a problem, age is not a problem, and appearance is not a problem." The fewer external conditions required, the more stable the love will be.

Secondly, research shows that the closer the personality is, the more stable the love will be. Wang Guorong said that what people often say about complementarity between husband and wife means that you want to have something but don’t have it, but your spouse has it. This is a kind of appreciation, not a polarity in personality.

Finally, have identity. First, after getting married, you must have the concept of integrating with the other person; second, your education level and life values ​​must be equivalent. These are the intrinsic factors that determine the stability of a marriage.

Women train their husbands to seize 5 perfect opportunities

1. When you are sick

It doesn’t necessarily mean you have a serious illness. Colds, coughs, and fevers are all illnesses. Women shouldn’t be too strong. You must show weakness when you should. I have done laundry and cooking when I have a fever. In fact, it is not good for a man. If he misses you well, he usually thinks that if you can still buy groceries, cook and do laundry, it means you are in good health. So, if you are a little woman at heart, don't pretend to be a big woman.

2. Pregnancy

A pregnant woman is the treasure of the family. No matter how strong a man is, he will definitely have a tender side when faced with a woman's growing belly. While women enjoy men cooking and doing housework, they should not forget to correct men's bad habits. One sister seemed very disdainful of this. She said that men do this only for the sake of their children. Well, that’s right, but isn’t the child in your belly? The child has not yet been born, and you and the child are one. What is good for the child is good for you. At this time, if you praise the man more, he will be more motivated to be a good husband.

3. When you agree to marry him but have not yet obtained the certificate

You have agreed to a man's proposal but haven't received the marriage certificate yet. This is the time when a man is most obedient. Because before you agree to marry him, you may not be able to see many of his true qualities. This is not cunning. In fact, we women are the same. When we are in love, we will always show our best side to the person we love. in front of people.

And after deciding to hold hands, or during the wedding preparation period, a man will be more relaxed than before. This is the best time to find problems and solve them. To put it bluntly, if his shortcomings cannot be changed, and You definitely can't stand it, then you still have a chance to turn back.

4. Children’s preschool

Many women will complain that men never care about their children or their daily life or studies. In fact, this is a habit that has been formed. In the first two years after the child is born, most of them are taken care of by women. But when the child goes to daycare, women have to leave something for them. What men do, such as telling stories to children, or accompanying them to bookstores, even playing with toys and building blocks, etc. Don’t let men worry about this and that when they come into contact with children. Men are not that stupid. They are his biological children, and they are not. It is necessary to teach their children badly. If women do not guide men at this time, men will not care about their children after they go to school.

5. When a relative dies

Life, separation, and death are a touch for everyone. In this extraordinary period, it is the best time for women to express emotions and reason, which of course refers to the first sad days. In those days, if your sadness is greater than his, then take the initiative to ask him to lend him a shoulder to lean on; if his sadness is greater than yours, then take the initiative to lend him a shoulder to lean on. After this, it is the best period to get rid of many bad habits of men.