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Uncovering the truth behind one-night stands

visibility24 Views comment0 comments person Posted By: Eric King list In: married life

A survey shows that the result of a one-night stand is like paradise for most men, but very negative for most women. The survey also further examines the nuances of casual sex and its instability in male-female relationships.

The survey's findings suggest that women are attracted to men not because they want them to be their lifelong partners, but because they are attracted to the idea of ​​spending the night together. Therefore, they have been misunderstood on this issue in the past.

Researchers pointed out that men tend to lower their selection standards during one-night stands. So at this time, men's praise and flattery of women are just illusions.

Ann?, a psychologist at Durham University? In such situations, Campbell says, women often say things like, "I feel so complimented and so happy that he's attracted to me. It's really nice to be wanted so much." But in fact, most women don't realize that men lower their selection standards to a great extent during a one-night stand. She also pointed out that a man shouldn't flatter a woman like this because he just wants to sleep with her once.

Real feelings and data

Many studies of casual sex are based on fictional stories or participants' own fantasies about one-night stands. The new study is based on the self-reports of those involved in one-night stands.

In the June issue of Humanity, Campbell said women are not suited to multiple-partner relationships. In a multi-partner relationship, women have to bear more, while men are in a win-win situation. For example, for women, a new baby will be a big responsibility, but men can escape this responsibility.

The potential risks of one-night stands are greater for women, so it's not surprising that the study found that one-night stands are less exciting and more depressing, says Todd Shirkford. Todd Shirkford is an evolutionary psychology scholar from Florida Atlantic University who did not participate in this study. But Xie Kefu also said that from an evolutionary perspective, multiple sexual partner relationships provide some natural advantages for women. This natural advantage may explain why many women feel disgusted after a one-night stand but remain unrepentant. Biochemical reactions during the peak of the menstrual cycle may cause women to become sexually aroused, while sexual relationships with multiple partners allow women to select the best genes for their offspring.

After Dawn

Campbell surveyed 3,300 people, most of whom were between the ages of 17 and 40. More than half of the heterosexual respondents admitted to having one-night stands, and the chances of one-night stands are basically equal between men and women.

Overall, women felt more negative than men after a one-night stand, while 80% of men overall felt pleasurable. Only 54% of women felt happy afterwards.

The vast majority of women claim to feel that they have been taken advantage of after a one-night stand, and have comments such as "I feel cheap", "I am very scared", "I feel very sorry. Such behavior makes them lose their value and Make yourself look casual.”

Contrary to popular belief, women do not view casual sex as the beginning of a long-term relationship. Campbell told "Live Science" that when a woman has a one-night stand with a man, it is not because the woman wants the man to marry her, but because she wants the man to understand that she is not usually like this, and tonight's one-night stand is her special reason for this. What men do.

If the other person is very attractive, a man will feel a sense of accomplishment after a one-night stand, and men can get more sexual satisfaction from a one-night stand than women. Typical positive comments from men about one-night stands include feelings of bliss, excitement, passion and the belief that one-night stands help relieve stress. Men's negative comments about one-night stands are mainly about emptiness and loneliness.

Why do women try one-night stands?

Even if women feel terrible after a one-night stand, they will still have one-night stands over and over again. why is that?

They may be doing this to select high-quality genes for their offspring. Therefore, if a woman cannot win a long-term relationship with a man who has good genes (such as genes that resist disease or have certain talents), her thoughts will change to "Why not have sex with him once?"

Campbell said that if you meet a man as rich and romantic as Brad Pitt, it is basically impossible for him to commit to spending the rest of his life with you; The likelihood of having sex with you for half an hour in a hotel room on a Wednesday afternoon is pretty good.

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