Recently, a Japanese association called "National Loving Husbands" launched a "Thank you", "Sorry", "I love you" campaign and formulated 10 levels of good husbands to mobilize more husbands to boldly Wife expresses her emotions.

Psychologist Dr. Zhuang Wenhao said that these three sentences are also the most difficult for Chinese couples to say, and the root cause is actually on the marriage certificate. He said that men all have a common thinking, thinking that the marriage certificate represents all their love and gratitude to their wives, so anything else in daily life is superfluous. It is often this kind of mentality that prevents the various "toxins" from being eliminated in time when couples get along, accumulating day by day and ultimately irreversible.

The "Top Ten Levels" of Japanese Good Husbands

The first level: still loves his wife 3 years after marriage

The second level: can be a good husband Help with housework

Third level: Never cheated on his wife, or his wife never caught him lying

Fourth level: Able to "ladies first"

The fifth level: Able to walk hand in hand with his wife

The sixth level: Able to listen carefully to his wife

Level 7: Being able to solve the problem between wife and mother in one night

Level 8: Being able to say "thank you" without hesitation

Level 9: Not afraid to say "I'm sorry"

Level 10: Being able to say "I love you" without being shy

"Thank you"

Doesn't equal a sense of distance< /p>

A very common scene in the family: When a guest comes to the house, the wife makes a cup of tea for the guest and the husband respectively. The guest will politely say "thank you", but the husband will often accept it calmly without any expression. . The man's explanation for this is: Why are there so many red tapes when we are an old married couple?

Actually, this is a man’s excuse. In their hearts, the marriage certificate represents everything, and the words of gratitude are all included in the certificate, which is superfluous. Moreover, saying "thank you" shows that they respect their wife as an outsider.

Dr. Zhuang Wenhao believes that men and women are people on two planets. They have their own languages. In men’s language, it is mainly about solving problems and achieving important goals, such as achievement, career, money, etc.; while in women, it is mainly about solving problems and achieving important goals, such as achievement, career, money, etc.; In Chinese language, people express their inner emotions through speaking, especially about household chores, work matters, etc. in life. As long as a man puts a little effort into learning a woman's language, he can satisfy his wife.

Expert advice:

The more trivial it is, the more you should say "thank you", and it is unnecessary to say "thank you" for big things. In the family, nothing is taken for granted between husband and wife, including having children, and it is not something that women should do as a matter of course. Therefore, when either party takes the initiative to do a small thing for you, it is important to say "thank you", such as passing a pair of slippers, a towel, or a cup of tea. A sincere "thank you" does not increase the distance between husband and wife, but a feeling of "gratitude".

“I’m sorry”

Doesn’t mean losing face

Men have strong self-esteem and dignity, and they also need to maintain their dignity in the family, so they Not willing to take the initiative to say "I'm sorry". In fact, "I'm sorry" does not mean admitting a mistake, and it does not necessarily mean losing face. It has nothing to do with right or wrong, but is just a tolerant mentality.

Dr. Zhuang said that we can be very tolerant to a stranger or a friend, but we are often very harsh to the people we love most because we require perfection from our lovers and care about their slightest mistakes. .

Expert advice:

There is no "full responsibility" for conflicts in marriage and family. When there is a quarrel, both parties should apologize, it's just a matter of who says it first. It is a sign of bravery for a man to say "I'm sorry" first. In fact, these three words are not an admission of mistake, but regret for the result of a quarrel. Temporarily putting down your dignity and saying "I'm sorry" can win you more things, such as your wife's smile, family harmony, and a happy mood. It is definitely a "profit-only business".

"I love you"

It is not a patent for love

Men in love will occasionally say "I love you" in order to pursue their lover. Once they get married, they will get the paper Marriage certificate, "I love you" is like being relegated to the cold palace, it is difficult to hear it again. Many men are too dependent on the certificate, thinking that with a marriage certificate, they have the sword of love, and all love has been proven.

Dr. Zhuang Wenhao said that after marriage, whenever a woman asks her husband if she loves me, the man will always say impatiently, "Why should I marry you if I don't love you?!" The marriage certificate in my heart represents "I love you". There was once a couple who came for psychological counseling. After the consultation, the wife was so moved that she cried when she heard her husband sincerely say "I love you."

Expert advice:

Three simple words have such great charm, making women cry. So a married man might as well practice saying "I love you" to his wife and let her feel your love.

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