Sometimes there will inevitably be some minor friction between husband and wife, and then the results will be different if different methods are used to deal with it. Therefore, the quarrel between husband and wife is also a very deep knowledge, and quarreling requires certain skills. Unskilled couples always quarrel more and more fiercely, and the quarrels will get out of hand. Smart couples only have small quarrels and the problem is solved.

1. It is difficult to avoid quarrels between husband and wife. They should be regarded as normal and there is no need to panic.

Husband and wife are not only different in gender, but also in personality, concepts, habits, etc. When you are in love, you still have the opportunity to hide each other; when you are married, you get along day and night, and interact frequently, and conflicts, large and small, are inevitable. When facing these conflicts, it is a mistake to make a fuss and think that a dispute means two people are not suitable for being together.

On the contrary, if you think that a happy marriage means two people never quarrel, so when there is a conflict, you have to be extremely tolerant and make every compromise to maintain a superficial state of peace. This is also an abnormal phenomenon.

In fact, couples should view arguments in a positive light. Couples who "know" how to quarrel (that is, people who know the principles of quarrels) will have better and better relationships and less and less quarrels.

2. Quarrel is a matter of "angle", not a matter of "right or wrong".

The main reason couples quarrel is because they think there must be only one answer to the matter. The basic mentality of the quarrel is "I must be right about this, and my partner must be wrong." The problem is that when two people think this way, quarrels will arise one after another.

In fact, family disputes, marital disputes, etc. often have no fixed answers. They are purely questions of perspective, not questions of right and wrong. People who are "quarrelsome" work hard to understand the other party's true meaning during the dispute, or to compare the differences between the two. People who "don't know how to quarrel" try their best to refute the other party during the dispute. As long as they prove their "correctness", both sides will suffer.

3. When couples quarrel, they should "reason" rather than "reason".

Generally, quarrels are characterized by arguments, so you desperately try to catch the other party's language errors, find out the flaws in the other party's logic, and concentrate your firepower to attack them, leaving the other party with no room to parry. The problem is that in the process of "arguing", feelings are often "hurt", and winning the argument often makes the other party have no feelings for you. Disputes between husband and wife are dealt with through "friendship", which is far more constructive than quarrels through analysis and debate.

4. Never quarrel in front of a third party.

In order to prove that he is right, the quarrel often likes to complain to a third party outside the party, hoping that others will support him. In order to win more sympathy, you must constantly mention your spouse's shortcomings. This habit of accusing your spouse in front of a third party is extremely destructive to the relationship between husband and wife, and husband and wife must try their best to avoid it, otherwise they will still be the victims.

People who "can" quarrel only hope that the couple can deal with each other's conflicts face to face, and do not want to quarrel in front of parents, friends, and colleagues. In this way, the possibility of the relationship between the two people being restored can be increased. .

5. Never win.

No matter who wins or loses when a couple quarrels, in fact there is no winner, both parties are losers. When a quarrel is a last resort, people who quarrel can only stop at it and never want to win.

A few years ago, someone in the United States studied abused wives (Abused Wives) and found that the common characteristic of the wives who were beaten was that they always won the fight with their husbands every time they quarreled. Since the gentlemen could not gain a sense of superiority or accomplishment through words, they had no choice but to fight for it with their fists. It can be seen that winning a fight not only has no real benefits, but may also lead to a severe beating.

People who can quarrel leave room for the other party in everything and let the other party have steps to climb down, but people who can't quarrel always want to drive the other party away.

6. Narrate the truth of the matter and do not describe your feelings in an exaggerated manner.

There must be a reason for the quarrel. People who "know how" to quarrel will focus on describing things during the quarrel and let the other party know their situation and needs; people who "can't" quarrel like to express their anger in an exaggerated way, so they often use the most extreme adjectives to irritate the other person.

For example, a housewife raises four young children and has no time to clean up the housework, resulting in a messy home. If the husband knows how to "quarrel", he might as well tell the truth about the problem. For example, "Madam, you must be very busy. There is not even a clean bowl at home!" When the wife hears this sentence, she may feel guilty and wash the dishes quickly.

If a husband who doesn't argue says, "You are a lazy, sloppy woman, as dirty as a pig..." a war at home will be inevitable.

7. The brave one is the one who admits defeat first.

Since quarrels are conflicts caused by different perspectives, mature people will try their best to avoid them. The best way to avoid a fight is to admit that the other person's opinion may be better than your own. This kind of reaction requires people with enough self-confidence and maturity to make it, but it is worth learning.

Concession to your spouse is definitely not a loss, but a gain. When your spouse hears the other party giving in first, they must not say: "I told you you were wrong a long time ago, and you only admit it now!" On the contrary, you should give your spouse more encouragement and respect, so that the next time you quarrel, your spouse will be more willing to accept it. I'm willing to give in first.

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