Letter from a reader: I am 27 years old and have been married for a year. My parents-in-law started from scratch. Although I am not a rich man now, I own three houses in a developed coastal city. However, since my parents-in-law have become richer and richer, my husband, who is born in the 1980s and is an only child, has become more and more fond of saying hurtful words to me.

For example, my husband’s catchphrase is often: “Look, XX is much prettier than you, but her husband’s family background is not that good. Hey, you are so lucky to be an ugly person” or “My house is getting better and better.” There are more and more, and there are more and more beautiful girls who have no houses. Oh, I really feel for them." Every time my husband says this, my heart hurts like a knife. Although I am not a pretty girl, I cook for him and almost never go out to socialize. Are there many girls born in the 1980s who are as caring and considerate to their husbands as I am?

When I confided my "mental pressure" to my good sisters, not only did they not sympathize with me, they even said sarcastically: "Come on? We are all married to a husband who owns three houses, so why are we arguing?" And How do I treat my friends? On their birthdays, I bought them thousands of dollars worth of watches each. Perhaps the fortune teller was right when he said that the help of friends is a rare thing in my life. Even though I have my whole heart for them.

Yes, since a woman is married, she should put her family first. But I am really afraid that my husband will cheat on me. I am a girl with neurasthenia. Every time my husband says such hurtful words, I lose sleep. But what can I do to my husband? My parents-in-law, who started from scratch, are very doting on their son and are not willing to criticize the child's faults. Sometimes, I even suspect that my parents-in-law will support my son's cheating.

How can I improve my husband’s habit of saying mean and hurtful things? Will he be the kind of person who is all talk and no action? I'm worried that he may have already cheated on me. In fact, I am not living happily. How can I be a happy married girl? Maybe after giving birth to a baby, my husband will change his bad habits?

Reply:

Pretty girls regard the house as the starting price of marriage. Ordinary girls regard the house as the total asset of marriage.

House is the saddest and most exciting word.

A few years ago, I often heard this sigh: In Beijing, not many girls just married themselves just for a house...

In recent years, A more commonly heard sentence is: Mom doesn't agree, dad doesn't agree, best friend doesn't agree, relatives and friends don't agree, in short - "You can't marry if you don't have a house."

So, a few years ago, I saw many unhappy women: Although they married men who owned houses, the temper of the men who owned houses was also directly proportional to the area of ​​​​the house. The bigger the house, the bigger the house. The bigger the temper. Being the wife of a man who owns a house means you will inevitably suffer some grievances.

That’s why today, when housing prices are soaring, we see many women who are even more unhappy: They don’t understand, “Why don’t men with good personalities have houses, but why do men with houses have such different personalities?”

Tell women: The more a woman regards a house as a necessary condition for choosing a mate, the more men who own a house will rely on this capital to trample on the woman's spirit.

Back to the topic, let’s take a look at marriage and friendship that make you worried.

Let’s talk about your bestie first. Your best friends may not all be heartless. Judging from the actual situation, they are right. You should be content with marrying a husband who owns three houses. After all, they will be a little envious and a little jealous of you. Think about it, you can give them a thousand-dollar watch on their birthday. What does this mean? But it’s not just because you are a loving and loyal friend, it’s also because you have a noble son-in-law and a lot of money!

Let’s talk about your husband. In fact, it is not necessarily because he is interested in it. He will always talk about the house. It can be seen that the house is his biggest capital in his heart. This is where all his pride lies. Facing such a husband, it's not okay for you to always be as nervous as you are now. First of all, you have to be more nervous and force yourself not to deal with it. After all, he is a spoiled big boy who has not yet learned to be mature and tolerant.

If you want him to be less rude to you, you must have your own capital. Although you regard staying at home every day to cook and do housework as a valuable virtue, I remind you that this mentality is very dangerous. A woman who can only cook and not socialize is destined to be rich. eliminated by marriage. Even for a rich family, what they need is not a nanny, but a woman who can make him feel respectable and lovely.

A woman who can only do what a nanny does is destined to be eliminated. A woman who understands more about the world and has more life skills will naturally receive more attention, including from her husband. Of course, if you can only do so much and regard this as the most important job in a woman's life. Then, when the relationship fades away and he cheats, you won't be able to stop him.

A man’s worth depends on his house, while a woman’s worth depends on more skills and a wider social circle. Learn more about these, it is more useful than learning two more good dishes.

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