Why do women nag? For many men, this is really an annoying mystery that seems to be the main source of their pain. A survey shows that among the things that men hate women doing, the number one thing is "nagging", far higher For the second-ranked “doesn’t like to dress up”. It seems that even men who have always been lustful would rather endure an ugly woman than a nagging one, so you can imagine the seriousness of this situation.

Research has found that women can talk twice as much as men in a day, so it seems that women are indeed more nagging than men.

If you think about it carefully, the actions of women that are regarded as nagging by men actually include different contents:

(1) Repeating orders: Women give orders to men and get no response. Will keep repeating requests (rather than requests), such as: "When are you going to change the light bulb?"

(2) Care reminder: Even if it is a well-intentioned reminder, as long as it is not a man who wants to hear it, , can also be considered nagging: "Have you taken your medicine today?" or: "It's cooler today, don't forget to wear more clothes."

(3) Compliment others: Sometimes women express their appreciation for others Appreciation of words and deeds, but if a man feels that there is something in a woman's words, this is also considered nagging: "Lao Wang next door bought a designer bag for his wife on Valentine's Day this year, and she proudly showed it off to everyone!" Or: "I heard that he bought a brand-name bag for his wife on Valentine's Day this year." Lao Wu is very good at repairing electrical appliances. If anything breaks, he can fix it in a few clicks."

(4) Sharing thoughts: This is probably the most aggrieved thing for women after a busy day! It took a lot of effort for the two of us to meet each other and share my inner thoughts with you, which shows that we are as close as ever. But men want to relax after work and are content to read a newspaper quietly. At this time, if a woman expresses a thousand words, she is really ignorant: "Xiao Xu and Xiao Chen in the office yelled at each other during the meeting today, and the manager actually You want me to mediate their conflicts..."

To women, these are communication forms with completely different contents and functions, but in the ears of men, they all become the same definition: "nagging" ".

What women should understand is that basically any communication method that upsets a man is considered nagging, ha! This also explains why men think women nag all the time, while women only admit that they nag "very occasionally."

Why are men afraid of nagging?

(1) Nagging means low power: only the party with high power can order the person with low power. Women’s constant request for orders means the transfer of power, and men will certainly be unhappy.

(2) Nagging implies lack of ability: Men think that I have my own sense of proportion in doing things and can grasp the priorities. I don’t need instructions from others. So when I hear a woman say this or that, I feel that she has made it clear. Don't trust my abilities.

(3) Nagging means not being happy enough: A woman may think that talking is sharing her thoughts, but when heard by a man, it is translated as "You are blaming me for not being able to make you happy..." Otherwise, where are you? So much suffering? And I was working hard every day, but I didn't expect that she was still unhappy. The more she thought about men, the more depressed she became.

What can women do to reduce the feeling of nagging the other person?

(1) State your purpose first: Please don’t ramble on and on, tell him the real purpose of your words first, so as not to misunderstand him and mistake sharing for blame. For example: "I don't mean to blame you, I just want to share my feelings with you..."

"I don't want to bother you at all, so if you can tell me an exact time, I will know it and won't ask you again!"

(To persuade a man to answer, you need to seduce him) To benefit him, tell him what benefits it will bring to him)

(2) Give the man some time to recharge: you talk as soon as he comes in, but it is very unwise for a smart woman. If you know how to choose the time and mood to speak, you might as well tell him first:

"I know you have worked hard today. I will not disturb you for now and let you rest for a while. When you are in the mood to talk, can you come and see me?" "Me?"

In this way, he will have enough emotional energy to take care of your mood after the break.

(3) Say less "you" and more "I": Keep saying "you" when you complain, which can easily make the other party have the idea of ​​self-defense and start arguing, for example:

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"How can I say that you have turned a deaf ear...?"

Please try opening with "I" more often:

"I feel a little neglected...?"

Master these communication skills, and you and he will never have to worry about each other again. Suffer from nagging, but enjoy the happiness of happy communication!

Author: Dr. Zhang: Emotional intelligence expert, head of Zhang Yijun Emotional Intelligence Club, Ph.D. in psychology from Georgia Institute of Technology, USA, former university professor for 11 years, is A psychology expert active in the media, he serves as guest host of programs such as "Garden of the Soul", "Psychological Interview", and "Metamorphosis", and is a senior corporate trainer.

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