Marriage people do not live just for marriage

For women, the biggest asset in a blind date is either youth or beauty. And when both are gone, making oneself more connotative becomes a woman's last weight. In order to enter the palace of marriage, the marriage tribe was born. "Marriage" was proposed by the famous Japanese sociologist Yamada Masahiro. It refers to a group of people who look for marriage partners with the attitude and determination to find a job. They actively take action, actively equip themselves internally, and participate in courses such as makeup, fitness, or communication; externally, they actively engage in blind dates, dating-style friendships, and other activities. Most of the "marriage tribe" are women, and everything revolves around marriage.

The post-90s generation joins the blind date army, and the post-80s generation falls into collective panic

“In 2010, I hope my peach blossoms will bloom.” Ding Ding’s new QQ signature is quite straightforward. She admitted that her first goal next year is to find her partner. "A few days ago, a blind date told me about his new trend, and I was excited." Ding Ding told reporters that the man had just met a girl who was born in the 1990s and was still studying. "And both parties felt good. All those born in the 1990s came out. We are seizing the market, what can we do if we don’t hurry up?”

The “post-80s generation” was also a demonized label at the beginning. This generation was considered by the public as “lack of responsibility”, while the post-90s generation was even more “insufficient”. ", they were labeled as "non-mainstream, brain-dead" and other labels. "That's why we have to act early. Who said we are non-mainstream? We just want to find a warm and secure shoulder." Xiao Ming, who was born in January 1990, just last weekend, with the help of relatives, married an older man. 7 year old man on blind date.

"I think people born in the 1980s are still idealistic to a certain extent, while my peers and I are more rational. We know what we want." While one is studying on the university campus, the other is already outside. Xiao Ming, who works part-time, feels that reality is a good thing.

Xiao Ming said that one of his classmates went on a blind date with the son of a family friend at the end of last year under the arrangement of his parents. The two of them have developed very well. "The prerequisite for a blind date must be approved by both parents, so that the relationship will be stronger and the marriage will be more stable. And the form of blind date originally seeks spiritual resonance based on material conditions. Being more realistic is more conducive to improvement. The success rate of blind dates. ”

After 7 years of age, adults will tolerate a long process of dating to please others. The process of blind dates is a kind of self-accumulation

Recently, Xiao Lu, born in the 1980s, is preparing to participate in a new round of dating. Got on a blind date. For her, who has experienced many battles, how to make up, dress, talk, and behave during a blind date is not a problem, but every blind date has no results. "Every time it's like going through the motions. I can tell the result as soon as I see the other person, but I still go every time." Xiao Lu seems to be used to it. The "2009 Survey Report on Chinese Marriage and Love Situations" jointly released by the China Marriage and Family Research Association of the All-China Women's Federation and other institutions pointed out that giving up has become a habit of dating leftover women. During a blind date, 71.2% of women chose to give up if they had a vague feeling that the other person might be dissatisfied with them.

Over 70% of adults will dress up carefully to find a date.

“Although I haven’t found a partner yet, I still gained something in the process.” Never before Xiao Lu, who does makeup, is now half a makeup artist. She can choose between daily makeup and party makeup at her fingertips. She no longer blindly covers up her ordinary figure with jeans and baggy clothes, but has learned to use different clothes to maximize her strengths and avoid her weaknesses. Xiao Lu also said with a smile: "I heard that there are many training courses in Shanghai specifically for marriageable people, such as etiquette and housework. I am a little interested." Xiao Lu seems to be more interested in these than getting married.

The reporter learned from several training institutions in Hangzhou that there is currently no such specialized training class in Hangzhou. "The audience for this type of training class is too individual. Considering that the market is not very big for the time being, we have not started doing it." An industry insider said that they had had the idea of ​​opening such training classes, but considering the market reasons , it didn’t take shape in the end.

Our survey shows that 74.2% of people will carefully put on makeup and match clothes for blind dates and other occasions, but 72.46% of people said they will not participate in various trainings on family skills, etiquette and image, etc. to find a partner. class.

Marriage is not the only goal, be a "seven mature" married couple

What do you think is the reason for the formation of "married people"? In the survey, 62.03% of people chose "Modern people have increasingly higher demands on themselves, both internally and externally, and marriage is only a goal, and enriching yourself is the key." It seems that many people have a very rational attitude towards "marriage life". Living for marriage seems to be just a superficial phenomenon, and more people are enjoying their own lives in the process.

American gender expert Dr. Pat Love believes that in the process of finding a partner, you must maintain a positive attitude and persevere. As long as you pay attention to one person every day, look at him or her and smile, then among the people you pay attention to every day, there may be your lifelong partner. However, if you put too much attention and effort into this matter, you may no longer have your own life and independent thoughts.

In psychology, there is Yerkes Dodson’s Law of Motivation, which states that there is an inverted U-shaped relationship between the motivation for doing something and the possible results. You can't do anything without working hard, but if your goal and desire are too strong, you will often fail to achieve your goals. Only using 70% of your strength for everything is the best strength. A person's life is rich and fulfilling, and he will naturally produce a magnetic field that attracts the opposite sex.

The same is true for being a "marriage family". Seven years of maturity is enough. To truly find a good destination, it is most important to understand what you need and to clarify your positioning. Rather than "Only marriage is life." Maintaining a certain degree of self-esteem can actually make you more attractive. (Ma Yan)

Self-test

Are you a married couple?

1. Getting married is your biggest dream.

2. In order to get married, your life becomes rich and colorful.

3. You are willing to participate in various activities that can lead you to marriage.

4. Even if it is the first time you meet the opposite sex, your first reaction is: can he (she) develop further with you.

5. Getting married is like looking for a job for you, with a lot of planning and planning.

6. Marriage is the biggest mountain on your head. For it, you have to think hard about which way will make you more likely to succeed.

If you meet one of the above points, congratulations, you are "married".

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