A few days ago, a friend went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get a marriage certificate and found that there were very few people applying for marriage services and there was a long queue of people applying for divorce services! This made my friend depressed for a while: It turns out that divorce is so popular nowadays!

I have recently paid attention to the following sets of statistics:

China's top ten divorce rates:

Beijing - divorce rate 39%

Shanghai - divorce rate 38%

Shenzhen - divorce rate 36.25%

Guangzhou - divorce rate 35%

Xiamen - divorce rate 34.9%

Taipei - divorce rate 34.8%

Hong Kong Special Administrative Region - divorce rate 33.8%

Dalian - divorce rate 31%

Hangzhou - divorce rate 29%

Harbin - divorce rate 28%

Another set of data shows:

Currently, the divorce and The marriage ratio is close to 1:3. In some districts (cities) and counties, the ratio of the number of divorces to the number of marriages has even reached nearly 1:2.

At the same time, due to the surge in extramarital affairs, the divorce rate in Shanghai has increased 20 times in the past 20 years. The main reason for the increase in Shanghai's divorce rate is that the partner has sexual relations with others.

In my daily emotional counseling work, I have this basic statistics:

More than 80% of emotional relationships eventually break down because of the intervention of a third party.

More than 60% of people have experienced varying degrees of physical or mental infidelity.

More than 50% of people believe that their infidelity was an "accident". Although they regret the consequences of the infidelity and think that they had an extramarital affair out of nowhere, at the same time, they admit that the infidelity has brought them consequences. Unprecedented excitement. When it comes to whether the same old tricks will happen again, everyone is generally silent and thinks "it's impossible to say."

At the same time, almost all people believe that after cheating, they will never be able to return to the original track of marriage and love.

The number one reason couples divorce is - cheating.

It can be said that no matter which city, the number one reason for divorce is cheating.

But modern people’s cheating is often an unconscious behavior, a morbid psychology, and a habit of cheating.

Since the 1980s, the divorce rate in mainland China has skyrocketed. In 1980, there were 7,660,000 marriages in mainland China, and 341,000 divorces, a divorce rate of 0.7%. By 1995, there were 9,297,000 marriages and 1,055,000 divorces, with a divorce rate of 1.8%.

In fifteen years, the divorce rate has nearly tripled.

Parental divorce is a killer of children’s mental health

And these fifteen years are an important reason why the divorce rate is as high as 30% today - at this stage, due to the divorce of parents, they suffered Children who are traumatized will be doubly distrustful of marriage when they grow up. The divorce rate of this generation will double that of their parents.

What I can’t imagine is that today, when the divorce rate is ridiculously high, what kind of divorce rate miracle will their descendants create when they get married as adults in the future? !

But what is cause for concern is: a sample examination of 100 juvenile delinquents found that 60% came from divorced families, and their parents’ cheating and quarrels were the real culprits of their violent and indifferent personalities. It can be said that divorce of parents is a killer of children's mental health, and the killer of marriage is modern people's increasingly addictive habit of cheating!

Causes of cheating: Childhood experiences determine your chances of cheating in the future.

Every action a person makes can be traced back to his childhood life. More and more ordinary people are beginning to recognize this psychological truth. Parents, family, living environment... those little bits and pieces that seem to be just "life props" often have an immeasurable impact on a person's life.

"The Inescapable Reincarnation"

There is such a strange circle: children whose parents have had an affair experience tend to have a higher cheating rate when they get married as adults. And those wives who encountered violent husbands will find that they often had a similarly violent father when they traced their childhood lives.

Children’s marriage is often a “COPY” of their parents’ marriage. Fatalists call it "the inevitable reincarnation". In fact, it is a kind of psychological imitation of their parents by children. Although they tell themselves "don't go that way" in their hearts, they imitate step by step in their unconscious subconscious. Going further.

Inexplicable panic

Some women, from 20 to 30, and from 30 to 30, always feel inexplicable panic every time they mention "marriage" , it’s not that she doesn’t desire stability, it’s just that her parents’ marriage planted a seed of “distrust” in her heart. In the future, even if they get married reluctantly, they will often look at their husbands the same way they look at their father and mother, and try their best to find consensus in him from their childhood impressions. A woman who has a bad life is harmed by her mentality.

Today, the tide of cheating is unstoppable, and everyone is immersed in temptation and trying their best to satisfy their expanding desires. But, what is the real reward for the instant happiness?

Not far from you, there may be a pair of children's eyes, quietly recording all this...

Many divorced couples feel relieved after seeing their children graduate from college. In one breath: "Finally, our divorce did not have too many negative effects on the children! Fortunately!"

Of course not. Often, the impact of parents' divorce on children does not end when they graduate from college. It just begins when they graduate from college. After working, they integrate into social life, make friends, get married, and love in every aspect. It more vividly reflects the shadow of childhood.

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