Some people say that you shouldn’t be too nice to a man, but in fact, you are the one who ultimately benefits from doting on your husband. With your proper pampering, he will always feel your kindness and your meticulousness, which can add a lot of warmth to the ordinary married life and make the "siege" stronger.

The following is a real case, which may be of great help to you!

When I first met Mr., I was in my prime, with long hair and shoulders, and was good at writing and dancing. My husband was not good-looking and came from a rural background. Until he married me, all his buddies were still shaking their heads in surprise, asking how I could marry him? After marriage, I suddenly realized that I wanted to find balance and make my husband a virtuous and virtuous model husband. Unexpectedly, after seven years of marriage, I became a well-known good wife. After feeling remorseful, I decided to do what I had to do to advise all the sisters, and they must not follow in my footsteps.

1. Don’t listen to slander

I was spoiled since I was a child and was not good at housework, but I have a family tradition of being good at cooking. My husband is not diligent in body but diligent in speaking. Wife, the food you cook is the most delicious. I think it tastes better than in the hotel. As the saying goes, a person can be flattered by a thousand people, but it really speaks to people's hearts.

Under his ecstasy, I suddenly lost my sovereignty. When the nanny was not at home, I would show off my skills in the kitchen and bring out plates of delicious food. My husband was feasting on the meal at the dinner table, and his sweet words kept flowing.

After the meal, I said seriously: Just do the same thing. Wife, if a manly man cannot wash dishes, he will make others laugh. So what do you do? I take out the trash. The gentleman thought over and over again and chose one. I asked what about cleaning the room? The husband said without changing his face: "Wife, you are diligent and good at tidying up, so of course it is you. If a house's room is in disgrace, the guests will think that the mistress of the house must be lazy, and no one will blame the man. < /p>

I sounded a little annoyed, but when I thought about it, it seemed to make sense. Besides, my husband is very lazy. If I expected him to take the initiative to clean up, I might have to wait until the garbage piled up at the head of his bed and he couldn't get out. In the past, he would wipe the floor on a whim, but he would just mess around and not get the point. When he wasn't paying attention, I had to rework everything, so why not just do it myself.

From then on, the scene of my husband leisurely watching TV with a teacup in his hand while I lay on the floor sweating profusely and mopping the floor happened every day in my house. The voice-over is: Wife, our house is not a five-star hotel, so there is no need to wipe it so clean. Wife, you are like a young volunteer, working hard not for money or profit...

Don’t be too nice to your husband

After seven years of marriage, facing reality, I have learned a lesson: Don’t be too nice to your husband. Being too nice to him will invisibly lower your own position and raise his status.

In life, he could never find a change of clothes. When I was on a business trip, he didn't know how to take back the clothes on the balcony. He didn't know how to wash clothes. In his free time, he either played ball or played. He was really a rare leisurely man. Name of the unit: No. 1 in national taxation.

When colleagues talk about Mr. Humph, they say, "Humph, you've spoiled me." I said, I'm not used to him either, he just has this kind of character. When I go home and think about it carefully, I am indeed spoiled.

After my daughter was born, he slept outside alone for four months without ever washing a diaper or spending a night with her. My daughter is seven years old. Whenever I go on a business trip, I still sleep with my mother because she is too uneasy to be with him. .

He doesn't know how to protect himself, he would rather have a good time, and he doesn't want to sleep in pajamas even though he knows it's cold. I'm afraid he'll catch a cold, so I can only get up to get it; I often forget to take vitamins and other health foods, but I pour them and offer boiled water to watch him eat them; Clothes were taken off and thrown around, socks were flying everywhere, and I was picking them up with my hands as I muttered.

In this way, he enjoys my warmth as a matter of course. Sometimes when I think about it, he would say with a smile that my colleagues are very envious of me and say that I have a good wife. Yes, seven years of marriage is enough to earn a good reputation.

My close friend is angry that I won’t fight, and it’s useless to persuade me. My defense is, it’s okay to be good to your husband. He is no one else, but your husband, the person who will accompany you for life, so there is no harm in making him happy! My friends shook their heads repeatedly and could only say that people like you are rare in the world, and we can't do it.

Don't be soft-hearted

My husband was born with a scholarly appearance, on the small side (he doesn’t look like a secure man), he has a gentle personality, and he is very good at "coquettishness". I was also pampered since childhood. After becoming a wife, in order to establish the image of a good wife, I restrained a lot of my temperament as a young lady.

As long as my husband has a little headache and brain fever, he will complain endlessly, put on a weak and powerless look, lie on the sofa, and naturally tell me that he is thirsty and wants to drink water. When I first started using this technique, I didn't know the depth of it and felt extremely distressed. I hurriedly served him, handed him water, got medicine, and only had to feed him.

As the days went by, I thought something was wrong. He would catch colds four or five times a month. He was a good athlete, so he must be a spoiled child. When he said again, alas, it was freezing again. I just frowned and ignored him. He screamed louder and louder, which made me unbearable. You pretended to be sick again.

The husband took a few breaths of air-conditioning and said, "Why are you pretending to be sick? It's true." Wife, you have changed. You used to be very anxious when I got sick. Now, look, you actually accuse me of pretending to be sick. Are you having an affair? Okay, let me put a big hat on it first. I said you had a cold all day long, and I knew which time you were telling the truth? Of course being sick is real, how can it be false? Come on, give me Puff Pu, I feel so uncomfortable. He was lying on the sofa looking top-heavy again, which made me feel weak.

well! Just think it's true this time. So, my heart softened, and I started serving again. From then on, everything was the same.

37 degrees is the most reasonable temperature for marriage

Just like human body temperature, the ideal marriage temperature should be constant at around 37 degrees Celsius. Huang Weiren pointed out that such couples treat each other as guests, respect and love each other, laugh on weekdays, and quarrel when they have different opinions, but they can always find ways to understand each other and resolve conflicts in a reasonable way.

Everyone hopes that love will be vigorous and vigorous. If a marriage is like this and the temperature continues to be high, it will be easy to "fever" and burn each other. Huang Weiren believes that some couples always confront each other head-on. Both of them are very opinionated and say whatever they want. When they quarrel, they are even more emotional and loud. When emotions arise, people will inevitably say angry words. If there is no timely explanation and communication afterwards, it will easily hurt the self-esteem of the partner.

Some wives are too clingy and regard their husbands as "private property". They wish they could be together every day and demand to control each other's every move, so that the temperature of the marriage is always at a high point. This kind of dependent psychology just shows that the wife's soul is empty or immature. They hope that the other party can accept them unconditionally anytime, anywhere and put themselves first. But in the adult world, it doesn't work to force the other person in any form to satisfy one's own psychological needs.

And sometimes, the temperature of marriage will drop to freezing point. In such a marriage, the couple will avoid conflicts for a long time, fail to communicate when things happen, and the grudge in their hearts will become deeper and deeper, and finally they will become like "meetings are like ice". There is an old saying in China, "More sorrow is greater than death." Couples avoid conflicts because conflicts will bring pain to both parties. But in the long run, it will take a lot of effort to heal the marriage.

Therefore, in order to maintain a perfect marriage temperature, it is most important to learn and be good at communication. Huang Weiren believes that communication is to express one's own thoughts and learn the other party's thoughts, and cannot be denial or personal attack. For example, if the husband wants to go out for socializing, and the wife is not happy about it, she can complain: "You have been out a lot recently, and we haven't had dinner together for a long time. I feel lonely." This is a complaint, and the wife plainly expresses the trouble caused by her husband's going out.

But if the wife angrily says, "You are always like this, just go out and play by yourself." That becomes an accusation. To change your partner's overly sticky state, on the one hand, you must truthfully tell the other person that you need independent space and social activities. An understanding partner will generally accept this. On the other hand, you might as well encourage them to develop their own hobbies and social circles.

In addition, a study by John Gutmann, a professor of psychology at the University of Washington, found that men who help their wives wash the dishes and express their feelings have happier marriages and live longer. Although the reason for this study cannot be explained more scientifically at present, one thing can be confirmed. As long as the husband can do this and speak boldly, it will be helpful to the marriage.

[What is your "marriage temperature"]

Want to know your "marital temperature"? You may wish to take the following test questions. This test was designed by Dr. Stanley, a psychologist at the University of Denver, and is recognized as the simplest and most effective "marriage thermometer." Please compare and rate yourself based on the 8 conditions below.

1. A small dispute suddenly turned into a big quarrel, with each other yelling at each other fiercely and old scores being brought up.

2. My lover ignores my opinions, feelings, and needs.

3. My words or actions are often considered malicious by my partner.

4. When there is a problem to be solved, we always seem to be on opposing sides.

5. I cannot tell my partner my true thoughts and feelings naturally.

6. I often imagine that if I could change my lover, what would it be like?

7. I feel very lonely in my marriage.

8. When we quarrel, there is always one party who is unwilling to talk anymore and starts to avoid or leave the scene.

The scoring standard is that if each question "never" or "rarely happens", it is worth 1 point; "occasionally happens" is worth 2 points; and "often happens" is worth 3 points. When you add up the scores for each question, if the total score is between 8 and 12, it means that the temperature of your marriage is stable and healthy. If the total score is between 13 and 17, your marriage needs to be vigilant. If the total score exceeds 18 points, it means that your marriage needs to be adjusted immediately.