Happy couple: husband, Lin Fancheng, 37 years old, a middle school teacher; wife, Lan Zhi, 37 years old, a bureau clerk, married for 12 years. Tips for happiness: Don’t pay too much attention to the trivial issues in your marriage, and ignore them more.

Narrator: Husband Lin Fancheng

Lan Zhi’s key is missing again! A family of three searched the house.

I was so angry when I thought of her carelessness: one running shoe she bought for her son was a size 20 and the other a size 22; she paid for the groceries and forgot to pick them up; she went out. Sometimes I don't remember to turn off the light; when I'm cooking, I either forget to add salt, or I add salt one more time.

In response to my endless scolding, Lan Zhi was not willing to be outdone and listed N crimes against me: I had to pay the utility bill at least three times before I paid it; I never took the initiative to replace the faucet when it was broken; I hit her twice when I passed by. Even the most discounted home textile stores refused to go shopping; my son even sneezed eight times and turned a deaf ear... The harmonious atmosphere at home was always destroyed by these things.

Once I caught a bad cold and lay in bed weakly and fell asleep. Lan Zhi specially asked for leave to take care of me. She cooked my favorite millet porridge for every meal and brought it to the bedside; every 20 minutes, she would run in to see if I had a fever or kicked off the quilt. Unfortunately, my mother's asthma relapsed. Lan Zhi ran up and down the hospital to get my mother settled. She was as busy as a spinning top, but she didn't complain. I held her hand gratefully and said, "Lan Zhi, you are such a good and virtuous wife." She was happy and ashamed, and said, "Do you really think so?" I nodded, and she blushed and said, " I haven't had time to tell you something! I accidentally broke your favorite blue flower porcelain bowl last night; I dripped disinfectant on your blue shirt while doing laundry..." My head was still a little groggy at the time. , I didn’t have much reaction to her "embarrassing things". I waved my hand and said, "Those are all trivial things, not worth mentioning."

After I recovered from the cold, my impression of Lan Zhi changed a lot. I think she is indeed a kind, virtuous and good wife who loves me, my son, and this family wholeheartedly. I don’t need to care too much about her carelessness. When she loses her keys, I just help her find them; when she buys shoes for her son and gets them in the wrong size, she has to make another trip to get a new pair; when she goes out and doesn’t remember to turn off the lights, let her go out first and I follow her. Check it over.

Lan Zhi was not used to it. She asked me: "Why don't you get angry or criticize me when I do something wrong carelessly?" I told her: "In fact, to live a good life, you need to pay attention to some details and do not criticize me." Take the problem of hurting your muscles and bones lightly, or even ignore it. If you become calmer, you will become more relaxed and happy, and the other party will feel free and stress-free, so why not?”

After that, Lan Zhi also started to feel dull. Every evening, I slumped on the sofa after eating. As for what "boring program" I was watching, whether I put my legs on the glass coffee table, whether I spat the melon seed shells all over the floor, and whether I cursed at the TV. Lan Zhi didn't bother to care about the foul language.

As for my "lack of family responsibility" behavior, Lan Zhi just reminded me and did not make too many comments. She said: "Of course I know that you are a responsible person. Those small things are just your occasional negligence and are not worth mentioning."

View

Both husband and wife have their own growth experiences, cultural backgrounds, and hobbies. When these "each" are put together, they will inevitably collide. In fact, there is no right or wrong in many "each", and it doesn't make much sense to dwell on the difference between "each".

Being slow is a magic weapon for dealing with differences between husband and wife. It seeks common ground while reserving differences, tolerates each other, puts the overall situation first and the mainstream first. It plays a very important role in the harmony of marriage, which is reflected in the following three aspects:

1. It reflects respect in marriage

Forgetting your own standards and not being a judge, Don’t be an instructor and agree that everything the other person thinks, says and does is reasonable.

2. Reflecting tolerance in marriage

Everyone is negligent sometimes. Turning a blind eye or ignoring those small oversights is as liberating to others as it is to yourself.

3. Reflecting the overall view of marriage

Conflicts in married life often originate from trivial matters. Focus on the overall situation and the mainstream, do not get hung up on small details, and avoid blinding one's vision and generalizing.

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