A secret marriage means that the person has fulfilled the legal formalities of marriage but does not publicly declare his "married" status. A "hidden marriage survey" shows that nearly 37% of people are willing to be "hidden marriages" because they are worried that having an open marriage will make them lose the trust of their bosses or clients. Most of them are aged between 25 and 35, and most of them are women.

The reporter learned during the investigation and interview that some people choose "hidden marriage" because they feel that marriage is purely a private matter, and there is no need to make it public whether they are married or not. The vast majority of people's "hidden marriage" is due to reasons in the workplace. For example, they are worried that being married will bring inconvenience to them at work and affect their future in the workplace, so they deny that they are married.

One of the "hidden marriage" mentality: for work and entertainment

There is a potential law of competition in the current workplace. Once people are labeled as married, their competitiveness is often greatly reduced, so Some married people choose "hidden marriage".

Xiao Xie from a communications company once had the experience of losing to a "single girl" on the same starting line. Once I went to meet a client with an unmarried female colleague from the same department, and the two actually had a secret competition. Xiao Xie thinks that his rich work experience gives him an advantage. When they met, the client praised them for being young and beautiful. They must be college students who had just left school. Before Xiao Xie could say anything, the colleague immediately said that he was indeed a recent college graduate, but Xiao Xie's children were about to go to school.

After that, the client only contacted the young female colleague regarding business matters. However, Ms. Xie’s work ability was doubted by her boss, and she finally decided to leave the company.

“Every time you learn, you gain wisdom.” In the new company, Ms. Xie started to work as a “hidden marriage family”. She never talks about her personal life with her colleagues, never wears a wedding ring at work, and always hangs out with unmarried girls at work. When dealing with customers, Xiao Xie no longer has to worry about being exposed as "married" and having her work affected. With her rich experience and smart mind, Xiao Xie's work performance was outstanding and she was recognized by her boss and was promoted.

The second mentality of "hidden marriage": fear of being "left out" by colleagues

In the eyes of colleagues, married people with families are always tied up with a lot of housework and responsibilities. Together, so usually when going out to play, go shopping, or go on an outing, these married people will naturally be excluded.

Miss Li, who is 25 years old this year, has been ignored by her colleagues after her marriage. She works in customer service at an advertising company, and most of her colleagues are single. Before her marriage, she would often hang out with her friends without any scruples until late at night before going home. But after getting married, every time she was having fun with her colleagues, her husband would call to persuade her to drink less or urge her to go home early. Every time this happened, her colleagues felt particularly disappointed.

Over time, Ms. Li was excluded from many entertainment or gatherings in the company. This not only alienated Ms. Li from her colleagues and clients, but also directly affected the development of her work. After switching to a new company, Ms. Li made a "three-part agreement" with her husband and joined the "hidden marriage clan" of "real queens and fake princesses".

The third mentality of "hidden marriage": fear of being "discriminated" by leaders

Although "genderless" careers are being accepted by more and more people, women's physiological stages The objective problem of demand cannot be avoided by anyone.

For female employees who are married without children or newly married, their bosses will be worried because a series of problems such as pregnancy, childbirth, and childcare will affect their work. Moreover, some bosses think that married people tend to close themselves off and stop pursuing progress, and they no longer show initiative at work. Therefore, companies often assign jobs that require enthusiasm and energy to single employees with relatively light workloads.

Li Min chose "hidden marriage" precisely because of concerns about these problems. She works as a secretary in a foreign company. She is 26 years old and has been married for 2 years, but the couple live in two places. Company leaders have always believed that unmarried women have fewer bonds than married women and have a stronger desire to work. Therefore, Li Min never refuses invitations from colleagues. They go to bars, karaoke, and do outdoor sports together. Whenever others asked about her marriage, she always answered vaguely: "Why, I don't look like a single noble?" Gradually, everyone assumed that she was unmarried, and men frequently sent flowers to her. She said: "In order to avoid being 'discriminated' at work, I would rather choose a 'hidden marriage'."

The fourth part of the "hidden marriage" mentality: Marriage is personal privacy

If we say that many independent, self-reliant and self-reliant white-collar workers are forced to appear as "single". Then, there is another "hidden marriage" mentality that has nothing to do with the workplace, that is, it is believed that marriage is a personal privacy and does not need to be made public. "I have never denied the fact that I am married, I just won't mention it intentionally." This is the sentence that reporters heard most during the interview.

Xiao Mei got married two years ago. Due to work reasons, she never held a banquet. Except for very close friends, no one who has ordinary business dealings or casual acquaintances knows about the marriage. She feels there is no need to deliberately publicize her marriage, "Besides, marriage is a personal privacy."

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