Xiao Feng and Xiao Ning divorced. Reason for the breakup: personality discord. This is perhaps the most honorable reason for a couple to break up. In fact, they knew it well. The two of them got to where they are today, only to quarrel over a few simple words and hurt each other's feelings. Before, their relationship had not completely broken down. However, whether you are angry or impulsive, this marriage is a divorce. It seems that inappropriate words can also be lethal and directly destroy the stronghold of the family.

There are no couples in this world who don’t quarrel. It's not the smile that says absolutely. If there are couples who don't quarrel, their relationship may not be harmonious. No matter whether it is a small quarrel or a big quarrel, it is called a quarrel. Arguments and quarrels don't count. Relatively speaking, quarreling is also a good thing. Quarrels are like earthquakes. If small earthquakes occur frequently, big earthquakes will decrease. Regarding relationships, there is a saying in China that no deal can be made without fighting. If this friendship is established, it will be deeper than the original relationship. A couple has conflicts and no longer even has the desire to quarrel. The marriage is really in name only. However, this quarrel is also very particular and skillful, and cannot cross the line. If the fight is small, the couple will cherish it more when they reconcile, but if it becomes a big fight, the confrontation will escalate and divorce emotions will arise, which is counterproductive. Quarrel usually comes from the mouth. Some words are said to be harmless, but some words are extremely destructive, directly destroying the relationship between husband and wife and causing the collapse of the family.

To briefly summarize, the following five sentences are the most damaging to a couple’s relationship:

1. Belittle the other person and compare with outsiders

Recall, are you familiar with this? "You are a loser", "You are so useless", "You are really worthless", "Are you still a man?" "You are not as good as my ex-boyfriend, ex-husband, so-and-so..." and so on. Remember, you can argue, but there are rules. When you belittle the other person, you do not elevate yourself. It only proves that you are the same kind. There is a third party in the war between two people, which triggers the fuse. There is no sand in the eye of the beholder. Comparing people with others will lead to death, and comparing goods with goods will lead to throwing away. If you are not a sapper, don't plant or dig mines. Unless you want to explode.

2. Reveal each other’s shortcomings and tear each other apart

The so-called hitting someone without slapping someone in the face, and scolding someone without exposing one another’s shortcomings are the rules of the quarrel game. When they quarrel and can't reason out, they want to take advantage of each other, settle old scores, and frustrate each other. Therefore, the couple starts to retaliate, expose each other's shortcomings, and tear each other's skin. You are my dearest person, so you have to endure it for no reason. But you know what? The word "forbearance" means a knife on the head. Under the knife, it is the person closest to you who is injured. It is enough to ruin the relationship and turn love into hatred. This kind of pain is heartbreaking, the most destructive, and difficult to repair. Regardless of the quarrel, there are boundaries. Crossing the line can hurt feelings. If you want to have a good life, don't hurt your feelings, and don't expose your shortcomings. If the mirror is broken, even if it is reunited, there will be cracks. There will also be shadows in the photo.

3. Threatening to break up or divorce

"Can we live together? If we can't live together, we will divorce!" This sentence is the most lethal missile for the breakdown of the relationship between husband and wife. If you don't want to break up or divorce, and you use this as a blackmail, thinking that you can calm the other person, then you are totally wrong. There are two results waiting for you: one is that the other party divorces in anger, huh, just leave, who is afraid of whom? The second is that the other party is temporarily restrained, but is actually operating in secret. Test the other person and threaten to break up. Over time, it will be like the story of "The Wolf Cried Wolf". If you often give such hints, the other person will subconsciously make plans to break up. If you are short on action, don't do this. This move is a dead move, and there is still room for maneuver in other quarrels. This time, it forces the other party into a dead end, and a slip of the tongue can lead to eternal hatred.

4. Silent cold war, using cold violence

Well, since everything I say is wrong, I won’t fight you to the death against the head office, right? Don’t they all say silence is golden? Simply, I choose silence. really? They say that speaking harshly to someone is cruel, so how can it be considered cruel to have feelings slowly drained away during the Cold War? One kind of violence is domestic violence, which is direct physical destruction. There is another kind of violence, which is cold violence, but it is a double torture of the body and mind. The Cold War, invisibly, establishes an insurmountable wall between husband and wife. If it does not break out in the Cold War, it will die in the Cold War. If you are not afraid of death, are you still afraid of living? Deadlock, conflicts have really entangled you to the point where you are helpless and can only let it go? If you are willing to suffer in the grave, continue to let your emotions cool down until the day they become completely rigid.

5. Don’t show mercy when you are right and force the other party into a desperate situation

"Oh, you are wrong and it's over? What did you do..." Well, he started to criticize again, and he refused to forgive others at the last moment and refused to let the other party step down. This is a common problem in couples quarreling. Sadly, all previous efforts fell short. Sigh, suffocated. Calling it quits is a red flag for a quarrel and is a wise move. No matter who is right or wrong, compromise will be blamed? The person who takes a step back has a brighter future, and the person who receives the benefit should end it with a gong and a slap in the face, instead of being reluctant and leading to a silent ending. This is a good way to maintain an intimate relationship. Arguments between spouses are commonplace, the problem is not to get deeper into the conflict. After a quarrel, both parties should proactively seek ways to make amends to prevent resentment from arising. Resentment is often the beginning of a rift in a relationship. In a quarrel, it is best for one party to use humor to resolve the tense atmosphere, rather than exaggerating the conflict and forcing the other party into a desperate situation. If you really break up and get divorced, are you really happy?

As the saying goes, a kind word warms you for three winters, but a bad word hurts you for six months. Impulse is the devil, understanding is God. If you are too quick with words, you will lose something more precious. Emotions then become punitive and the tongue destructive. And when two people undermine each other, humiliate each other, and are hostile to each other, and the time of mutual silence is extended, the marriage will also die. Therefore, if you love the other person deeply, you must be sensible. Believe you, quarreling or even breaking up is not the ultimate goal. Unless, of course, you really want to.

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