Recently, a survey conducted by European scientists showed that age is a key factor affecting the stability of marriage. Dr. Emmanuel Franier of the University of Bath in the UK conducted a follow-up survey of 1,534 couples. The results showed that the best couple model that can maintain a strong marriage is when both men and women are highly educated and have no history of divorce. At the same time, The man is more than 5 years older than the woman. Researchers say that the age group least prone to conflict is the age group where wives are more than five years younger than their husbands, and their divorce rate is 1/6 that of other marriages.

In addition, a study by the University of Vienna found that if a husband is 4 to 6 years older than his wife, he will have the most children; and if a husband is 15 years older than his wife, he will have the happiest married life although he will not have many children.

In this regard, well-known domestic marriage and love therapy experts agree. The three major happiness points of this type of marriage have become the pillars of family stability. The first point of happiness is to satisfy women's "Trinity" wishes. Usually, women dream of a Prince Charming who combines the maturity of a father, the care of an elder brother, and the vitality of a friend. The husband is older, more psychologically mature, and more comfortable giving love.

The second happiness point is that older husbands usually have a certain financial foundation, which reduces the chance of financial disputes. The third happiness point is that there is less competition in the family. When the husband is older, women will naturally develop a sense of dependence and obedience, which will reduce the competition for power between husband and wife, and thus reduce friction.

When it comes to the disadvantages of this type of marriage, experts believe that generally speaking, the average life span of men is shorter than that of women. If the husband is much older than the wife, then it is possible that the husband will eventually pass away and the wife will be left alone.

The older woman and the younger man are also happy

As the saying goes, "the third daughter holds a golden brick", and in ancient my country, there was also the phenomenon of the older daughter-in-law and the younger husband. Nowadays, the relationship between sister and brother is still an indispensable scenery on the map of marriage and love.

In fact, some families where siblings are in love are also very happy. Although some men are young, their mental age is very mature, while although their wives are older, their mental age is still like that of a young girl. Such a family is psychologically similar to a family model where the male is the elder and the female is the younger.

In other sibling families, the husbands have similar temperament characteristics, that is, the men are not very independent and want to continue to look for the feeling of being cared for by their mothers. For such families, there are often some disadvantages. First of all, whether physically or psychologically, women age faster, while men are still in their prime, which can easily destabilize the family. Secondly, age has social significance. In the conventional social evaluation, the relationship between siblings is easy to make people confused and criticized, or derogating men as "not men", or saying that women are "old cows eating young grass", etc. These external comments are in To a certain extent, it will also have an impact on the walls of the home.

Men and women of the same age communicate easily

The 49-year-old US President Obama and his wife Michelle have a 3-year age difference. Their 17 years of happy marriage is enough to classify them as an "ideal couple". Yue Xiaodong, associate professor of the Department of Social Sciences at the Chinese University of Hong Kong, believes that same-age love is not the same age in the narrow sense as we understand it, but that both parties are about the same age and basically belong to the same generation. Gender is the same age as the male and female or the male is less than 3 years older than the female. It can be said that in modern people's minds, this model of marriage and love is undoubtedly the most ideal.

Yue Xiaodong proposed that the basis of same-age love lies in the psychological and physical coordination of both parties. This kind of marriage is the most sustainable and has six major benefits. First, it is easy to establish intimate relationships. Second, there is frequent interaction. The third is synchronous growth. Fourth, the needs are consistent. Fifth, support from relatives and friends. Sixth, equality and self-confidence. In short, lovers of the same age have similar social experiences, and they are often of the same mind when encountering life problems. Long-term running-in will make both parties think on the same track, have a clear understanding of each other, and form a common cognitive model.

"Although there are many advantages for men and women of the same age, some problems will arise precisely because of equality." Couples of the same age are prone to competition for rights due to too much emphasis on equality, and they may often fight over "who has the final say."

The more similar their personalities are, the more affectionate they are

"The above three marriage models all have their advantages and disadvantages. Age does play an important role in marriage, but it is not age that really determines the stability of a marriage." Experts said. First of all, "LOVE" in English is compressed from a Latin sentence, which is "Love is a lasting concern for the life of others."

This reveals the true meaning of love between husband and wife, which is to love only the partner himself, rather than focusing on external conditions, which is what we often say "height is not a problem, age is not a problem, and appearance is not a problem." The fewer external conditions required, the more stable the love will be.

Secondly, research shows that the closer the personality is, the more stable the love will be. What people often say about complementarity between husband and wife means that they want something but don’t have it, but their spouse has it. This is a kind of appreciation, not a polarity in personality.

Finally, have identity. First, after getting married, you must have the concept of integrating with the other person; second, your education level and life values ​​must be equivalent. These are the intrinsic factors that determine the stability of a marriage.