Extramarital affairs are not just for men. In fact, in terms of gender, it is easier for women to have extramarital affairs than for men, and it is more hidden. Especially for those women who have been married for many years and have stable families, extramarital affairs are a beautiful spice in their daily lives. Today, the editor will take you to understand the investigation of women's extramarital affairs.

The survey results on women's sexual status show that more than 94% of women believe that sex life is important or very important in married life, and they still have normal sexual needs. But whether you can get sexual satisfaction depends on "fate" and whether you really "marry well". The results of that survey showed that only 20% of women were very satisfied with their sex life, while 25% claimed that they were dissatisfied or very dissatisfied, and the remaining 55% were relatively satisfied. According to another authoritative domestic survey report, 62.8% of women in my country have only one sexual partner, 29.1% have "2-3", and 9.1% have "more than 3". In other words, about 40% of women have sex outside of marriage. Due to the influence of traditional culture, the proportion of extramarital sex among Chinese women is far lower than that in Western countries. For example, in the United States, the rate of unfaithful wives is as high as 66%, while in France, the number of unfaithful wives is as high as 87%. Of course, those who are dissatisfied may not be dissatisfied, and those who are dissatisfied may not be dissatisfied.

Extramarital sex, also known as "extramarital affairs," is relative to the monogamous marriage system. Monogamy should not mean the only partner. Theoretically, of course, we should try our best to avoid extramarital sex, because it is incompatible with a happy and harmonious marriage and family. It may not only lead to the breakdown of the relationship between husband and wife, the disintegration of marriage and family, but also bring negative consequences to the growth of children and society. Order causes certain harm. Extramarital sex is understandable from the perspective of human sexual physiology, sexual psychology needs and human nature, and is even an inevitable and ineradicable phenomenon. The strange thing is that men go to great lengths to find extramarital affairs, but strongly prohibit their wives from having affairs with others, and most societies are more tolerant of men's extramarital sex than they are of women (except for the Clinton and Lewinsky cases). No country or law in the world can completely and effectively prohibit people from having sex outside of marriage. Therefore, with the emergence of the modern concept of "human rights", the laws and regulations of many countries have become more humane and are becoming more tolerant of consensual extramarital sex, including the fact that the crime of "adultery" has been abolished in Chinese law.

From a female perspective, there are many reasons for extramarital sex. From the perspective of the general environment: unprecedented population mobility, the virtual expansion of social circles; increased flexibility in commuting time, and the rapid popularization of mobile phones, computers and the Internet; the media and public opinion are filled with all kinds of sexual information; various unspoken rules are prevalent , making sex a pass and ticket; awareness of sexual consumption is widespread, sex can make money and transform power, and one can easily gain social status and money just through extramarital sex, which can be said to be full of temptations.

In addition, the childhood environment (including our clinical practice) said: being unkind to others is a very important reason. The husband spends all day messing around with women, and the wife consciously or unconsciously wants to retaliate "tit for tat" to punish the other party. Sexual hunger is undoubtedly a very important reason: some men reject sex like moralists throughout their lives (for example, a middle school principal publicly said that humans cannot be inferior to animals, and animals only go into estrus once or twice a year); some men are in poor health. (For example, a man had testicular spermatogonia and had one removed, leaving only one. Although it did not affect the function, the psychological shadow lingered); there are obvious individual differences between men and women for no obvious reason; of course there is no hunger. Being thirsty does not necessarily mean that there is no extramarital sex, because it often brings new and more pleasant sexual experiences, allowing them to get unprecedented sexual satisfaction. They see that there is a bright future, and they even enjoy it; of course, Hongxing's affair may just be for the sake of it. Filling the emotional void ends up being a new source of sexual pleasure. Of course, it is not ruled out that spouses are separated in two places for a long time, and one spouse or the spouse may have the opportunity to go on a business trip and have an affair. Some families are more open to the concept of sex, and even go out together to make friends or have their own degrees of freedom, and have fun.

According to a survey, 51% of women who have had extramarital affairs are completely unaware of their husbands. After some women have extramarital sex, they become more gentle and considerate to their husbands due to self-blame, and their married life becomes more harmonious. The cumulative incidence rates of extramarital sex among women in their 20s, 30s and 40s were 7%, 16% and 26% respectively. The risk age for extramarital affairs for women is 30 years old, and the peak age is 36 to 40 years old. Calculated based on the age of marriage, it is also what people often call the "seven-year itch", which may actually be ahead of schedule. I don’t know whether this is the progress of civilization or the decline of morality? It’s really confusing, because scientific research and ruthless and cruel facts show that humans’ increasingly casual sexual behavior has become an important way to spread sexually transmitted diseases and AIDS, and may also lead to social crimes (mainly problems such as love killings) and Have a variety of negative impacts on young people.

Maybe many men are disgusted with women who have extramarital affairs and think that women are wanton. But in fact, many women nowadays are very eager for extramarital affairs, because the dull pace of life will make a person have a different kind of desire, and there are not a few women who pursue such a little ripple.

Uncovering the mystery of extramarital affairs in modern society

Puzzle 1: In modern society, there are obviously more affairs

Answer: A survey from the United States shows that families involved in affairs only account for 15% to 20% of all families. Obviously, the phenomenon of infidelity is not as serious as imagined. Those who hold this view (mostly men) are simply trying to justify their actions. Women will also become victims of this view. They will blindly believe that men have the habit of flirting with women and become suspicious. They will be overly guarded against their husbands, thereby destroying mutual trust. And trust is the cornerstone of a happy marriage.

It is undeniable that people's desire to have an affair is indeed very common. Even some very traditional men and women have to have an inner battle with certain temptations from time to time. But having an affair is completely avoidable, the key is self-control. You should refrain from continuing to interact with possible third parties, and at the same time work hard to enhance the intimacy with your spouse.

Puzzle 2: If you suspect your spouse is having an affair, it’s best not to say it

The answer: This kind of holding back will not bring good results. In fact, if one partner of a couple who has always had a harmonious relationship has an affair, it will not take long for the other partner to feel it, and any clues from one partner will cause mental anxiety for the other partner.

Therefore, the party who may have been deceived should confess his doubts, not questioning, blaming, or digging into the details, but speaking calmly. For example, you can talk about your dream and let the other person know your worries. Of course, that might not be the case, but this candid exchange would reveal something else. For example, if my husband has recently been restless and has lost interest in sex, it turns out that he has encountered trouble at work. In modern society, where the stress of life is shared by both spouses, this takes on even greater significance.

Even if your doubts are confirmed, there is value in being honest. Because things are clearly on the table, you are no longer in the dark and can face reality and make adjustments. You must know that the worst thing for a wife or a husband is to know that the other party is having an affair without saying anything and letting it go. This will lead to deformity and deterioration of the marital relationship.

Puzzle 3: If your spouse is having an affair, the root cause may be you

Answer: There are not a few people who believe this and feel sorry for themselves, especially wives. An unfaithful spouse will shirk responsibility, make excuses, and often exaggerate. But it is obviously unreasonable for the faulty party to hold the other party responsible. In any case, when your spouse has an affair, it only proves that he or she is willing to do so, and scolding you is just to make the cheater feel more at ease.

The above are a few things that many people will ask about the issue of extramarital affairs. From the above introduction, we can see that extramarital affairs do not come out of nowhere, because nowadays there is so much entertainment, and if you don’t grasp your own principles, it is easy to lose yourself. Of course, It is suspected that it is easy to fall into such a deformed relationship between the sexes.