Sexual assault occurs in any social context at any time and takes many forms. It causes deep harm to the victims, some even lifelong. How to deal with sexual assault is particularly important. Let’s start with Ruohong’s misfortune. Her letter is as follows:

Psychiatrist:

How are you? I am afraid that you will look down on me after reading my story, but I am still determined to write this letter because I am also a rural girl in great need of help.

This matter started when I was very young. My brother is seven years older than me and has been in junior high school for as long as I can remember. However, as long as he and I are left at home, he will let me have sex with him, and he will scare me if I don't. I was afraid of being alone with him, so a few years passed, and finally he went to high school. I was very happy when my father sent him to school. I thought I was finally liberated. But I was wrong. He comes home once a month. As soon as he comes home, he treats me even more harshly. In this way, as long as I know he is coming home, I will try to avoid being at home. What else can be done but this? I don’t know who to talk to, who can help me? Just when I was at a loss, something finally happened. In the month after he forced me to do that thing, I didn't get my period. And he was going to school in another place. Before leaving, he told me to go to the hospital for a check-up. I secretly went to a small outpatient clinic for a check-up, and it turned out that I was really pregnant! This was like a bolt from the blue, shocking me so much that I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to tell my parents but didn’t dare... Later, my mother noticed the changes in me and took me to a regular hospital for examination. At that moment, I really hoped that the results of that small clinic were wrong, but it was just my fantasy. After this incident, my parents did not blame me. I am grateful from the bottom of my heart for their understanding of me, because if they blamed me even a little bit, I might commit suicide... Later, my parents no longer left us alone at home.

Now that I have reached the age to talk about marriage, I am already engaged to a boy. He is older than me and wants to get married. And I was very scared, afraid of being known by him, and even more afraid of the premarital examination. Once it is found out, everyone will know it, so how will I live? Now, what should I do? ——Ruohong who is in urgent need of help

Expert: After reading her letter, I felt very heavy. Thinking of the letters I received from several girls recently (harassed by neighbors, raped by stepfather), I feel that the psychological damage caused by the other side of culturally related adolescent psychological problems (sexual harassment, sexual exploitation, incest) should cause us enough attention.

Ruohong’s misfortune cannot but be said to be directly related to backward culture. The relative lack of cultural and entertainment life, outdated concepts, and poor living environment prevent the normal physiological needs of teenagers from being correctly guided. In our opinion, if the matter between Ruohong and her brother was done accidentally out of childhood ignorance and driven by curiosity, then it would be abandoned automatically as the physical and psychological growth grows. But they continued for several years, and when her brother gradually matured mentally and physically, he still did it. This was not just a child's sex game, but a purposeful sexual behavior. It was also because of Ruohong's attitude that encouraged her brother's behavior. Why would Ruohong let it go? First, it may be because she is young and ignorant, and does not know how to deal with it. She is even more afraid of others misunderstanding, or fantasizes that "he will never dare again"; second, it may also be that this kind of thing has aroused her sexual awareness and desire, and in her rationality and instinct In the conflict, he gave in half-heartedly and condoned his behavior. But no matter what the situation was, it had already caused psychological harm to Ruohong, creating a negative mentality of inferiority, cowardice, and self-abasement. In view of her situation, I gave her the following suggestions in addition to sympathy and care:

1. Resolutely stop doing this kind of thing. You must be resolute in your personal attitude. If necessary, ask your parents for help, and use the power of your parents and even society to put some pressure on your brother to give up.

2. Get to know your brother again. His behavior is obviously not just a sexual game. If he has a sexual disorder, he should be advised to see a psychiatrist.

3. Learn from experience and lessons, cheer up and face the future. Get relief from painful memories as soon as possible. Turn unfortunate experiences into lessons and spiritual wealth, realize the dangers of your own cowardice, and learn to protect yourself. Set a new life goal, cheer up, and change your unfortunate destiny with success in other areas.

4. Face reality and relieve doubts. You are afraid of premarital examination, and you are even more afraid that the other party will know. It is understood that premarital examination is now voluntary, so there is no need to worry. In addition, through a kind of cosmetic surgery, the hymen can be repaired intact. This is not only a physical repair for you, but also a psychological repair for you, giving you a good psychological hint - I am a perfect girl again. No need to tell your boyfriend. Let it become a permanent little secret in your heart.

Ruohong is unfortunate. Objectively, she has such a brother. Subjectively, her submission is also an important reason. Although her situation is an exception, we should clearly understand through this incident. Recognize:

1. Adolescent education cannot be ignored. First of all, we should correct our views on adolescent sex education. At present, there are two opposing phenomena in sex education: sexual overflow and sexual ignorance exist in different individuals and are very prominent. As schools and parents, we can neither avoid nor let them go.

2. When being sexually assaulted, it is the basic principle to effectively defend oneself. You must recognize that you are being violated by others, which is an infringement of personal rights. It's not your fault, so don't blame yourself or tolerate it.

3. Face the perpetrators and take decisive measures. If you tolerate them, you will suffer more serious harm. Be aware of the law and never forget to use legal weapons.

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