Sexual violence will occur in marriages protected by law. This is not alarmist, but a real thing that is rarely known to outsiders but often happens.

A woman wrote a letter and talked about the bitter and painful side of her married life. She said it was not that she didn't love her family, but she couldn't stand her husband forcing her to have sex. Her husband likes to drink a few taels of "yellow water". After several glasses of wine in the evening, he often asks for sex. However, she is dissatisfied with her husband's behavior and often adopts an attitude of being uncooperative or even refusing. As a result, her husband resorted to coercive means to satisfy his sexual desires, and she helplessly succumbed to violence. She felt humiliated and helpless, like a lamb being slaughtered. She didn't understand why something that was a normal part of a couple's life had become so annoying, and she didn't know how to free herself.

This is a form of sexual violence in marriage, which we can call "marital rape." Its characteristic is that due to various reasons, the wife rejects the husband's sexual requirements and promotes the occurrence of forced sexual behavior. The result is that the natural balance of women is destroyed both physically and mentally.

American marriage psychologist Toby believes that the sexual intercourse forced by the husband in sexual life puts adult women into the humiliating situation of "whether they are wives or prostitutes". Undoubtedly, this situation causes more serious psychological damage to women than physical damage, and the psychological trauma is often difficult to make up for. Once a woman develops disgust and is constantly reinforced by stimulation, the relationship between husband and wife will fall into a vicious cycle, which may eventually lead to the disintegration of the marriage. The woman mentioned at the beginning of this article has fallen into a vicious cycle just as we analyzed it. If it continues, it can be believed that the day she finds the so-called "relief" will be when the marriage relationship is disintegrated.

So does this kind of "rape in marriage" have universal significance? What kind of family is prone to such compulsive male behavior?

Let’s look at another example.

Xiao Ding is also a woman who has experienced "rape in marriage". She was born into a family with strong patriarchal ideas. What she saw since childhood was a father who was very male-supremacist and bossy and a mother who was submissive to her father. Being influenced by what she heard and saw, she developed the character of silently enduring everything. Due to her family's financial situation, she only studied until she graduated from elementary school. After getting married, she took on all the housework and, like her mother, served her husband, who was also less educated.

Xiao Ding’s family background is somewhat representative. In fact, experts who study marriage issues have concluded through a large number of surveys that in low-class families where men play a leading role, powerful and destructive violent behaviors are nurtured. Marital rape usually occurs more often in lower-class families where women alone do all the housework.

From the perspective of male psychology, some psychologists believe that sexual intercourse between men and women is the sexual foundation of male self-esteem and self-trust. If during sexual life, he feels that his wife’s sexual rejection is the sexual basis Uneasy, after obtaining sexual satisfaction through the use of violence, he will eliminate the uneasiness that threatens his self-esteem and self-trust, and then he will use this kind of sexual violence again and again. This is the psychological basis for why marital rape repeats itself over and over in a family.

From the above analysis, it is not difficult to see that the most fundamental way to eliminate sexual violence in marriage is to give women the same equal status as men in the family. This is a conclusion drawn from history, social family structure and a large number of facts. When men in a family are fair, honest, and knowledgeable, they will be able to treat women equally and regard their wives as their best partners, and rape in marriage will disappear. As for some specific solutions, please leave them to be answered in detail during individual case consultations!

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