Compatibility of a pair means whether two people can get along and live together happily and satisfactorily. When their personalities and perspectives are reasonably similar or complementary, they are compatible and have few serious conflicts. When the quality of mutual compatibility is ensured, a lasting relationship can survive.

Even if two people are not so compatible, they may not be unable to live together happily. In fact, no couple can maintain completely consistent views or needs on any issue all the time. Just as important and valuable as personality compatibility is the ability of both parties to handle and resolve conflicts well when problems arise, such as the necessary changes in attitudes that otherwise threaten the happiness and stability of the relationship.

If you do this in your sexual life, you will benefit greatly. A couple who loves each other and is harmonious in every way will not tolerate sexual differences and difficulties eroding other aspects of their relationship. The experience of sex therapy also confirms that if the overall relationship between a couple is good, the solution to sexual difficulties is often easy to achieve. Conversely, if the overall relationship is poor, treatment will be less effective.

Certain areas of living together are crucial to a healthy relationship, but sometimes they are also a major source of friction. The following questionnaire will explore these areas to see how you have adapted yourselves to each other's needs, and should be answered jointly by both parties but scored separately.

How do you adapt to each other? (Scores in brackets)

　1. How much time do you spend with your partner in your spare time? Mostly (2) Sometimes (1) Rarely or None (0)

　2. How many of your friends are mutual friends and can you get along well with the partners of these friends? Most (2) Some (1) Few or none (0)

　3. If your partner wants to spend a quiet night at home with you, you are usually: Welcome and happy (2) Don’t mind (1) Feeling annoying (0)

　4. If you go to a restaurant alone with your partner, you will find that it is a good opportunity for conversation (2) It is pleasant but not exciting (1) It is almost relatively speechless (0)

5. If your work load becomes too heavy and begins to seriously infringe on your time together, you will try to change your schedule (2) Helpless (1) Desperately (0)

　6. Among your three main interests, how many of them do your partner also like? He likes them all (2) He likes 1 or 2 items (1) He likes none of them (0)

7. Do you often go on vacation together? Always (2) Often (1) Rarely (0)

8. If your partner is really worried about something, he usually discusses it with you (2) Talks to you only if you press him (1) Refuses to talk about it (0)

　9. When you talk to your partner about your work, thoughts, or feelings, is he often interested in it? Always (2) Sometimes (1) Rarely (0)

　10. Disagreements between you and your partner often lead to disagreements in joint discussions (2) heated arguments (1) severe or persistent hostility (0)

11. Do you often argue fiercely about trivial matters? Rarely or never (2) Occasionally (1) Often (0)

　12. Are you anxious because your partner spends more money than you do? Never (2) Sometimes (1) Always (0)

13. If there is an expensive item that you both need to use that needs to be purchased, can you directly express your opinion when choosing? Always (2) Sometimes (1) Rarely or never ( 0)

　14. Do you feel like you think a lot and say little when deciding how to spend money without prior arrangement? Not so (2) A little bit (1) I rarely think about things I like (0)

15. Do you agree with the arrangement of family expenses? Completely (2) To a certain extent (1) Completely disagree (0)

　16. Do you feel lonely or dissatisfied from time to time because your partner prefers solitude to you? Rarely or never (2) Sometimes (1) Often (0)

　17. Does your partner spend all day with you so that you have almost no free time? Rarely or never (2) Sometimes (1) Most of the time (0)

18. Are you willing to do things alone without being disturbed by your partner? Not at all (2) Somewhat (1) Often (0)

19. Do you often have friction because your partner is dissatisfied with you meeting other people or doing things alone? Rarely or never (2) Sometimes (1) Often (0)

　20. Do you often have conflicts due to jealousy? Rarely or never (2) Sometimes (1) Often (0)

21. Do you feel that you spend too much time with your parents-in-law or that your parents-in-law influence your partner’s views on things between you? Not at all (2) A little (1) Too much (0)

　22. Do you want your partner to be: more ambitious (0) less ambitious (0) keep a normal mind (2)

　23. Does your work affect the time you spend with your partner? Rarely (2) Sometimes (1) Often (0)

　24. Does your partner’s work affect the time you spend with your partner? Rarely (2) Sometimes (1) Often (0)

　25. Do you and your partner agree that a woman has the right to work as long as she wants to? Totally agree (2) Some reservations (1) Totally disagree (0)

26. If you don’t have children, can you agree on whether or when to have children? Absolutely (2) with some reservations (1) completely disagree (0)

　27. If you have children, do you think your partner’s attitude towards raising children is correct (2) too strict (0) too laissez-faire (0)

　28. Have you seriously considered ending your relationship? Never (2) Once or twice (1) Often (0)

Scoring:

1. If the score is 36 or above, it means that you can approve of your relationship and that he can meet most of your emotional needs. You may feel that this is very happy.

2. If the score is between 25-35, it means that your relationship has a good chance of lasting. But if some items score very low, they need to be improved.

3. If the score is 0-24, it means that you are dissatisfied with your daily life, which will often affect your sex life. If partners fight too often, their sex lives are bound to be less active or satisfying. What do you think is the main difficulty in checking the questionnaire, and does your partner also score low? If so, both parties must make adjustments together. If there are some discrepancies between scores, adjustments may need to be made unilaterally.

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