What should you do if you find out your partner is having an affair? Is there anything to avoid? Let’s take a look at the seven key points for dealing with your partner’s affair.

When faced with a partner's affair, people's first reaction is often to be furious, and then they fall into self-denial depression. Some people will try to save the relationship, while others just want a divorce at all costs.

7 Taboos for Dealing with Your Partner’s Cheating

From a psychological point of view, when your partner has an affair, it is just that he is using actions to show that he is not satisfied with your marital relationship and that your marital relationship is out of balance. If you can handle the affair well, sometimes the affair can be an opportunity to promote the growth of your relationship. But if it is not handled well, it will cause psychological and emotional harm to both parties, forcing the relationship to end—— Whether you want it or not.

So, what should you pay attention to when dealing with your partner's affair?

First, don’t pretend you don’t know after you’ve discovered it, thinking that he will come back on his own initiative, or that he will come back when he gets “tired of playing”.

This is a huge mistake. In the early stages of a relationship, people often do not have deep feelings immediately. If the affair happens at this time, he often does not dare to make a desperate decision to divorce and stay with the person he is having an affair with, because he is not sure whether the other person can make him happy. Therefore, more people choose to return to their families. But once they have been together for a long time and their relationship becomes deeper and deeper, it will be more difficult for him to leave. It is very likely that he will get deeply involved and take the initiative to file for divorce.

Second, don't divorce immediately indiscriminately, but first go and see what's going on.

Maybe his affair hurt your self-esteem and made you feel that your whole being was denied, which is a very bad feeling. But you still have to stay calm, try to find the root cause of his affair, and then ask yourself: Now that he has made a choice for himself with actions, what is your choice? Still love him? Save? Or decide to give up? It is very important for you to calmly think about what you really think, because your stance and attitude when dealing with this matter later will depend on it.

Third, do not exaggerate the matter and try to narrow the scope of insiders.

Even if your decision is to divorce, don't make his affair known to everyone. On the one hand, it is to protect your own feelings - the more people around you interfere with you, the easier it will be for you to fall into pain. If you still want to save this marriage, then don't let too many people know (especially parents, relatives and friends). This is to leave a back door for your partner to come back. Otherwise, even if he chooses to come back in the future, your relationship will be more difficult to repair because of the attention it receives.

Fourth, although you are very painful and angry, don’t let your emotions vent disorderly.

You know, even if you already have children and have lived together for many years, it is undeniable that the person you are having an affair with is more important to him than you at this time (no need to deceive yourself at this time). If you blindly allow your emotions to vent disorderly, and he sees you losing control, and then compares it with a gentle and considerate lover, his heart will be more biased toward his lover, and he will think that his choice is very correct.

This is not the time to vent your emotions, unless you decide to divorce, or he has decided to leave your lover and come back to you, and agrees to work with you to repair the relationship. Only then can you occasionally give your bad emotions to him and let him He takes responsibility for his actions.

If you want to vent your emotions, you should find a psychological counselor, your best friend, or vent yourself alone. In short, your partner is not the most suitable person.

Fifth, don’t ask to talk to your partner at inappropriate times or without adequate preparation.

The time, place and timing of coming to terms with your affair partner are all important. It is best to create special opportunities and events, which are more suitable when he and you are alone. If you have children, remember to entrust the children to the elderly or a nanny. This is very important. Otherwise, you may be unable to talk too openly about the matter for fear of arguing in front of a third person.

It is also important to be prepared in advance. Since it is a conversation, don't just blame him and cry out your pain with a lot of snot and tears. This will not help solve the problem. It's best to think about your thoughts and stance in advance, and then express them rationally.

Sixth, don't try to recover unilaterally with wishful thinking, it will only hurt your self-esteem even more.

If you still love the other person, but your partner is determined to leave you, he will never change his mind even if you try your best. If this is the case, you'd better not continue to make so many efforts unilaterally and wishfully, as that will only make you suffer more internally and hurt your self-esteem even more.

Marriage is a matter between two people. When encountering a marital crisis, unilateral efforts are far from enough, and sometimes they are self-defeating. Whether your relationship can be reconciled depends on the foundation of your relationship with your partner, as well as the development stage of his relationship with his extramarital lover. If your partner's affair has been going on for a long time and the cheating partner files for divorce, the likelihood that the marriage can be salvaged is very low - but not impossible.

Seventh, don't think that things will end well if you don't do anything to deal with them. If you encounter your partner's affair, you need the help of psychological counseling.

Regardless of whether you continue to live together or choose to divorce, this incident will cause you a lot of psychological and spiritual damage. You need the guidance and assistance of a psychological counselor. On the one hand, problems in a marital relationship are always caused by two people. Of course, the affair partner has his own problems, but the betrayed often also has parts of himself that need improvement. Through Marriage counseling helps you understand the key factors that lead to marital problems and avoid repeating the same mistakes in your next relationship.

On the other hand, encountering a marital crisis always makes people mentally exhausted and psychologically painful. Receiving psychological treatment in the consulting room to calm the trauma will also help to move forward better in life in the future.

Ten tips to keep your husband from having an affair

1. First grab your husband’s stomach

Every day after get off work, the wife cooks a delicious dinner for her husband, turns on the lights in the house, and waits for her late husband to come home. Men can often feel the warmth of home in such situations. When the husband brings his work home, the wife should not try to divert her husband's attention to herself. She can add water to his nearly empty water glass, or make some late-night snacks, and her husband will feel particularly warm.

2. Seize your husband again

To capture a man's heart, it's not enough to just capture his stomach. Food and sex are also important. To completely capture a man's heart, the most effective way is to make him salivate over you. After finishing the day's official duties, the first thing he thinks of is that he can fall in love with his dear wife again tonight, and let him know that there is a beautiful and lovely wife waiting for him to show off his glory.

A family can maintain a harmonious relationship between husband and wife if a man can be satisfied with his career outside and also be satisfied physically when he returns home. To do this, women after marriage must learn some secrets to improve their abilities in bed, such as helping to tighten their private parts. The private part of a woman is always the sexual organ that fascinates men the most, and a tight and narrow private part is enough to make a man obsessed with you and unable to have second thoughts. No way, men are always so straightforward in this regard!

3. Let your husband have face

A wife must be good at getting along with her husband's circle of friends and colleagues, and at the same time, she must know how to take care of herself beautifully. In fact, men, like women, love to compare, and there are only a few things they compare with: life, career, and women. If you are over thirty and still have a charming figure and beautiful appearance, your husband will be very happy to take you to his friends’ gatherings, because you will make your husband’s face shine, and his vanity will be greatly enhanced by the praise of his friends. of satisfaction. And your friends' praise of you will also subtly affect his perception of you, constantly reminding him that you are the best woman in the world. This is extremely effective!

4. You must be healthy and beautiful

Your body is capital, you must take good care of it. Once a woman gets married, she gradually becomes a "yellow-faced woman" in the eyes of men. Countless examples have proven that older and sexier women are most likely to be abandoned. In the words of a cheating man: "The money you earn is for you to spend, but you don't know how to take care of yourself. When you are only in your thirties, you have wrinkles and spots on your face, making you look like a 'yellow-faced woman'" Like, it makes me sick to watch it every day, how can I not cheat?" When I first heard this, my lungs almost exploded, but after I calmed down and thought about it carefully, although the shameless words are unpleasant, they are indeed reasonable. If you don't love yourself, how can others love you?

5. Always praise him for his good deeds

When you watch TV series or movies and see that the married life in the story is very miserable, think carefully about the times when your husband was good to you. You will find that although this man has shortcomings of one kind or another, he treats you well. Still nothing to say. When you have such thoughts, be sure to tell your husband. If he's not around, give him a call. If he's around, say what's in your heart, lie on him and cry for a while, and say, let's not be like on TV, okay? But a small sentence can let a man know that he still has such an important position in your heart. It turns out that everything he has done is not in vain, and you will remember it in your heart. With such a good wife who is reasonable and knowledgeable, what man would be willing to cheat on her?

6. Frequently share “space time”

When a man seeks comfort outside because he is bored or indulgent, it actually exposes the lack of connotation in your marriage. A wise woman can seek help from "space time". The meaning of "space time" is a rule established to strengthen the emotional connection between couples. For example, couples spend at least one afternoon alone together every week, putting aside the interruptions of work, family and children, and fully enjoying the warmth of their world. Insisting on "space time" between husband and wife partners can actively enhance the intimacy of marriage. When the inner feeling is better, a man's heart will naturally return home. At the same time, it is also important to improve the quality of married life. According to surveys, men cheat because of a disharmonious life. In most cases, it is caused by the relaxation of the wife's private parts, the husband's lack of pleasure, and the long-term unsatisfied "desires".

7. Return to the "good times" with him

If your love has gone through the romantic rainy season and flowering season and has reached the "three or five itch", then the marriage may need to pause and rest. If he starts to seek happiness from outside and has other relationships, the pressure for improvement may be on the woman's side. There are many ways to improve, but the most important thing is to find the good times when you loved each other in the past. The usual cycle for a man to have an affair is about 6 months. If you cherish your past relationship and your marriage, you have to leave enough time for him to "know when he's tired". Use your love and tenderness to call back his fluttering heart and return to your love nest.

8. You must communicate more in daily life

We can’t go back to a time free from information interference, but we can change its impact from negative to positive. In terms of personality, men are more likely to be autistic than women, and dating and chatting on the Internet and mobile phones allow them to talk to their heart's content, which is very helpful for them to escape reality. The mechanical communication of keyboard and mouse gradually makes them develop a lot of emotions. They have a strong dependence mentality and have lost their original interest in normal family life. So you should communicate with him more. If he knows that he can talk to you about all his troubles and get the greatest comfort from you, he will no longer be obsessed with those virtual online lovers.

9. Issues involving married life must be taken seriously

Never talk about divorce when quarreling, and you should shed more tears, be more specific in your language, and discuss the matter in a matter-of-fact manner. If the wife is wrong and sees that he is still stern after the argument, she will pretend to be cute and cling to him shamelessly. In addition, it is particularly important to point out that once a man involves issues of marital life in a quarrel, he must pay attention to it. Although men desire pleasure more than women, they are usually more shy than women to discuss it because of face issues. If during the quarrel he points out that he cannot enjoy a harmonious life because of your physical or psychological reasons. So please note that this must be the most private problem in his heart and the most urgent problem that he wants you to solve and improve. You must not think that this is just an excuse he made casually. If you don't take it seriously after he brings it up, the day will come when he cheats.

10. Please give him perfect love

Don't simply attribute the reason for your husband's cheating to another relationship or cheating. For some women whose relationship is on the verge of breaking up, please think carefully about whether you have never given your husband perfect love in bed because of your own reasons. Love? Many cheating men have complained to the editor. Sometimes the cheating is not intentional on their part, but their wives have varying degrees of coldness, vaginal relaxation, dryness, etc., which makes them either resist conjugal life, or Even if you want to, you can't give your husband perfect pleasure. Although they know in their hearts that cheating is wrong, facing such a wife, they really can't bring up the "interest". In the end, they can only look for the ideal and perfect sex from those young and beautiful women outside.