We also flock together in our lifestyle

A large number of studies have shown that if one partner is sick, the risk of the other partner suffering from the same disease will also be significantly increased, including cancer, stroke, and arthritis. Asthma, depression and stomach ulcers to name a few. Another study showed that if one partner has high blood pressure, the risk of the other partner even doubles.

One of the reasons is the old saying "a match is a match". Chinese says that birds of a feather flock together, and English says that birds with the same feathers fly together. We tend to choose people who are similar to us as partners. Although sometimes the characteristics of the other person that are completely different from our own will appear very charming, in the end, we are most likely to maintain long-term and stable intimate relationships with those who have a comparable social background, a consistent attitude towards life, and the same behavioral habits, and these will have direct or indirect effects on health.

Moreover, lovers are not only attracted to each other in terms of personality and thoughts, but also in their lifestyle. In "Sex and the City", Kerry smokes. When she meets a man who also smokes, she feels more intimate and thinks, "It's hard to find such a handsome man who smokes." Then it is easy to develop a romantic relationship.

When two people form a family and live together, their living habits will become closer and closer. A study of newlyweds found that people's health habits before marriage can affect their partners in the years after marriage. For example, his eating habits, physical examination habits, drinking and smoking habits will all change you subtly.

Living together not only means eating and living together, sharing the same financial income and the same social circle, but it also means that the emotions of two people will be contagious to each other. If one partner is chronically stressed, the other partner will also pay a health price. Research also shows that if the wife's career development is not smooth and she feels distressed for a long time, the husband's risk of heart disease will increase three times.

Gregory Homish, an epidemiologist at New York University who conducted the study, said, "We do not live in a vacuum. Everyone in an intimate relationship should know that every decision they make is influenced by The influence of the other party also affects the other party. Our doctors should also pay attention to this. Usually when doctors see patients, they will ask about the genetic diseases in the family, but not about the lifestyle habits of the partner, but this will be missed. Some very important information. ”

You have to pay for his bad habits

A lot of research shows that marriage makes people healthier, but there are also many situations that can lead to the opposite. result. For example, if one partner smokes, drinks alcohol, or abuses drugs, the other partner is likely to fall into the same bad habits. In this case, you will not feel unfamiliar, "We ate together, chatted happily, and then we went home together, had sex, and smoked a cigarette together."

Many experts believe that when treating substance dependence, , if both spouses can participate together, it will be easier to succeed than if one party participates alone.

Such an influence may also be carried out covertly. For example, if he casually places a pack of opened cigarettes on the coffee table, it will break your determination to quit smoking.

On the other hand, if your partner smokes, you will pay a health price even if you don't smoke. A study on Korean women showed that if the husband smokes, the wife's risk of lung and breast cancer is significantly increased due to the influence of second-hand smoke.

Healthy interactions that are less obvious

There are also some interactions between partners that are less obvious.

For example, if a husband suffers from insomnia and tosses and turns in bed late at night, his wife's sleep will inevitably be affected. Or the wife has to get up in a hurry at 6 o'clock to go to the morning shift, and the husband is also deprived of his early morning sleep. The impact of sleep on a person's physical and mental health sometimes even exceeds diet and exercise.

There are also studies showing that if women are in a marriage full of confrontation and hostility, they are more likely to suffer from coronary heart disease than women in a happy marriage; and if men are in an unequal marriage relationship, regardless of whether they are in control Either one partner or the controlling partner is more likely to suffer from coronary heart disease than men in equal and mutually beneficial marriages. Because in an intimate relationship, whether you control the other person or are controlled by the other person, you will bear greater psychological pressure, and the body's stress response will be stimulated, which is one of the important factors causing coronary heart disease.

Marital conflicts are also related to mortality. For example, wives who suppressed their anger after arguments with their husbands were four times more likely to die after 10 years than wives who were better able to express their emotions.

When you change yourself, you change the people you love.

The good news is that you can make the people you love healthier by changing your own behavior.

A 4-year study involving 6,012 people found that when one partner quits smoking, the other partner is 6 to 8 times more likely to plan to quit smoking; The likelihood of drinking alcohol increases by 5 times; if one partner gets a flu shot or has a cholesterol screening, the other partner will also consider taking these health protections. Not only does the wife influence the husband, but the husband also has the same influence on the wife.

When one party begins to adopt certain healthful behaviors, or simply creates a healthier living environment, both parties will experience positive changes in their lifestyles.

Interestingly, exercise is the only exception. When one partner ties up his running shoes, the other partner is less likely to be motivated as well. The researchers explained that of all the projects in the study, exercise requires the most effort and effort. You must mobilize your own willpower and cannot rely entirely on others.

However, if you nag and ask your partner to change this or that, it will not have any effect, and may even have the opposite effect. The more you ask him to change, the less likely he is to change, so don't complain to him, "Why have you gained so much weight recently? When will you lose weight?" A better way is, "Let's go for a walk together. ."

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Put forward your request so that the other party can accept it, modify it, and say no without any pressure

Di is a senior sportsman who is keen on long-distance running and fitness. For him, if he does not arrange one hour of exercise time in a day, the day is not perfect. But my wife is a novice athlete. On weekends, they went hiking together in the countryside, and he often had to stop and wait for her who was out of breath. "It doesn't matter. I don't require her to be on par with me. She won't run a marathon with me, but it's not bad to ride bikes together in the community. The important thing is that we two spend some time alone."

32-year-old Yana and her boyfriend have been living together for 5 years. Recently, her boyfriend started to lose weight. Yana said, "I ate diet meals with him for a few days, and I felt so hungry that I couldn't bear it." They used to eat together every day, but now they eat separately. "A few times, he refused to eat the greasy dishes I cooked, which made me very annoyed. Another time, I bought a tub of ice cream and put it in the refrigerator to eat slowly. He complained a lot about how unhealthy it was. , and then threw them all into the trash can."

In such a contradiction, the most dangerous statement is: "If you love me, you should do this." A better way is to. Tell the other person how you feel, and then make your request. The other person can accept this request, modify it, and say no without any pressure, without considering it a test of love.

When health no longer “matches”

If one partner is healthy and the other partner is sick, their health status will appear if one partner lives together day and night and prospers and coexists "Mismatch", such that "mismatched" partners will face a higher risk of divorce than those with matched health status, whether the "match" is shared health or shared illness.

Particularly at risk of divorce are those partners who had enjoyed happy times together before one partner became ill.

When one partner suffers from a chronic disease, the healthy partner usually has to endure tremendous psychological pressure, as well as poor social relationships and heavy financial burdens.

Wendy was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 33 years old. Her relationship with her husband changed significantly almost immediately. For example, they no longer chatted about how the potted tomatoes on the balcony were growing and where they would go on vacation during the holidays. They talked about mastectomies, chemotherapy side effects, and how to pay for the huge medical bills.

Her husband accompanied her through the entire painful treatment process. At the same time, he was also fighting his own depression. Wendy said: "When you have cancer, you are a different person. I am no longer the person he first met and fell in love with." Fortunately, the couple has spent so much time together. Difficulties, recently, Wendy's condition has stabilized, and the two are planning a trip.

Accept and adapt. This is the best advice for a partner who is not a healthy match. In a truly mature relationship, partners don’t blame each other: “It’s your fault you have this disease, you should have quit smoking 5 years ago.” Instead: “We will overcome this step by step. Let’s do this together. "Almost all couples will eventually face a similar health crisis. If you are unlucky enough to suffer from illness, the best place to start is to be clear with your partner about what you need.

If illness cannot separate you

If one party has a serious illness, the healthy party often begins to take on the responsibility of taking care of him. While many say the task is hugely rewarding and mentally rewarding, it also poses a significant health challenge for those caring for patients.

Depression is the most common condition. One study found that wives who cared for their sick or disabled husband for more than nine hours a week had a higher chance of developing coronary heart disease. That's because the strain of caring for a sick person, seeing loved ones in pain, and the financial burden can cause tremendous psychological stress.

Furthermore, people who care for a sick partner also face a higher risk of death, and this risk persists after the sick partner dies. This situation is not uncommon: the patient dies, and soon after, the partner who cared for him dies too.

Eighteen years ago, Yang met a very attractive quadriplegic man. “We fell in love almost at first sight,” she said, “and we quickly became best friends.” But ultimately, she chose to marry another man.

“One day, he told me that he needed too much for a life-long partner, and he was not going to let me take on these. In fact, I didn’t think I could sacrifice my life either, You can take on the responsibility of taking care of him and still feel very happy."

It is difficult for a partner who has made a commitment to leave easily. Kaili's husband developed chest pain and arm numbness 5 months after their marriage. The doctor diagnosed it as angina pectoris. In fact, he had had similar symptoms once before the marriage, but he was fine soon. They thought it was caused by the stress and fatigue of organizing the wedding. Who Didn't even take it to heart. Practice medicine

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