Sexual behavior is not only physical pleasure, it is also a basic way to express one's own personality characteristics. Recently, American sexologist Judith Newman summarized a series of research results in sexology and psychology and summarized seven different "personalities" of people. Song Yumei, a psychological counselor at Beijing Sunshine Huixin Family Education Consulting Co., Ltd., emphasized in an interview with a reporter from "Life Times" that a couple's attitude toward sexual behavior, how they move, react, and experience during intercourse all reflect how they view each other. self and spouse. Figuring out what kind of "personality" you belong to is of great significance to improving your marital relationship and improving the quality of your sexual life. Song Yumei used women as an example to explain these "personality" characteristics in detail.

Controller (leader) case: For other things in life, Ms. Zhang does not care about her husband giving orders, but when it comes to sex, she must have the final say: she initiates and she directs how to act. Case of the executor (the one being led): Xiaoxue only obeys her husband’s orders in her sexual life. When her husband asks her to have sex, she will happily agree to it, no matter what her plans are. Even if her husband says she wants to try a new posture, she will put aside her opinion and cooperate with her husband even if she doesn't want to do it. Everyone has the need to control others or be controlled by others. In family life, some women are willing to be the ones dominated. But it should be noted that this does not mean that they are always willing to be "controlled". To please the other person does not mean that you have to suppress yourself. Once bad emotions arise, such women should say "no" to him appropriately. Song Yumei explained that controlling and being controlled, or leading and being led, will be reflected in all aspects of work and life, and sex is just one of the manifestations. Only "giving orders" during sexual life shows that women regard "controlling" sexual life as a balance point for being "controlled" in other lives and work. And those women who like to "control" everything should be aware that dominating everything will make the other person feel oppressed over time and deprive the other person of the joy they can experience as the active person. It is recommended that such women let their husbands dominate the bed from time to time, so that both parties can experience the fun of dominating and being dominated.

The case of the soul-first person: Xiaomei feels that sex is mainly an expression of love. It is difficult for her to imagine accepting sex outside of marriage. She even thinks that even fantasizing about other men while having sex with her husband is a kind of betray. These people have a strong inner desire for tender and sweet sex. If you feel that your husband only regards sex as physical contact and movement, you will feel frustrated. For women who put their soul first, Song Yumei suggested that they should know that human beings are a combination of "gods" and "animals", and that sexual life itself has instinctive needs based on biology. They should accept that their spouses sometimes engage in sex simply for physical needs, which is part of people's pursuit of pleasure. Pragmatist case: Ms. Li's husband wants to have sex with her every chance he gets, but with a young child, it's hard for them to find uninterrupted private time. Ms. Li very much hopes that her husband can solve the problem quickly. "I don't care at all whether I have an orgasm. Sometimes I just want to have physical contact with him." It is undeniable that many women are only satisfied with physical intimacy and ignore emotions. fusion on. But this is often a manifestation of a special stage. For example, cumbersome life and busy work leave couples with no time to think more about the "true meaning of love." Song Yumei said that couples should take time to have sex that is compatible with both meanings, or after a full sex, enjoy several "sexual snacks" in the morning or other times.

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Romantic case: Lili places great emphasis on the romantic atmosphere during sex, with specific alluring lights, exciting music, charming furnishings, sexy underwear... She also requires that her husband's performance must be perfect. Perfect sex is a pursuit, but having to achieve it every time can become cumbersome. Excessive pursuit of the ideal state may make the other party depressed and find it difficult to satisfy sexual needs, which is not conducive to the relationship between husband and wife. People who hold this attitude towards sex would be better off letting go of their stature, combining romance with reality, and allowing their spouse to be a real person, not a fantasy. Case study of a conformist: Ms. Shen is often accused by her husband of being "passionate". She is satisfied with the same sexual intercourse position, and everything is as good as a "good girl", not to mention taking the initiative to ask for sex. Many women don't want to change their sex life. After a long time, no matter how beautiful things are, they will suffer from aesthetic fatigue. Only "innovation" and "diversity" are inexhaustible motivations. Perhaps these women feel that being too decisive in bed matters makes them less feminine. However, it should be noted that always suppressing desires in sexual life will make people feel frustrated and frustrated. Explorer case: Although Anna is satisfied with her spouse, she always wants to try new things. She exchanged sexual fantasies with her husband from time to time and tried to realize certain plots. For example, she would say: "Let's open the curtains and have sex." Her husband replied awkwardly: "I'm afraid that others will peek." But she emphasized, "This is the effect I want." It's not too much to try new things, but you can't influence the other person. . Song Yumei explained that trying new things simultaneously with your partner can add color and points to your life, but too frequent innovations and adventures may make your partner exhausted. In addition, you should also pay attention to "property" in expression. Instead of saying "Why can't we do...", you should say "It might be interesting if we do..." "For everyone, it is not You will only stick to one personality throughout your life." Song Yumei said that age changes, job changes, having children, etc. may affect your personality. What couples need most is timely communication on the basis of equality. It is often said that marriage is like shoes, only the person who wears them knows whether they fit well. Understanding one's own "personality" type and how to make both parties cooperate harmoniously is an important factor in achieving a happy sex life.

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