What are the indicators of modern happiness? If you think about it carefully, it can probably be summed up in three words: "good life". Good life is related to wealth, and it is twin sisters to love and marriage. Although some people say that "marriage is the tomb of love," today's women believe that "marriage without love is the tomb of women's happiness." Such modern women not only know how to use wisdom to lay out the flowery scenery of good days, but also know how to Use strength to regain the power to create happiness. "Be vulnerable when you are loved, be strong after falling out of love, be weak when you are together, and be hard when you are alone." The emergence of such wise women is a sign of the progress of the times.

Oral description of Mishan, a 31-year-old real estate company employee

A person’s love dance

I work in a real estate company. Looking at the current property market, you probably all You may think that my income is very high, but it is not what you think; my husband, Jane, is a department manager in a foreign company, and his monthly income is much higher than mine. Maybe it’s because he has financial awareness, or maybe it’s because of the influence of my job. Anyway, Jane was keen on buying and selling houses in the past few years. Now we have two houses and a villa. Thinking about myself and comparing myself to others, I really have no reason to be unhappy.

However, I just can't be happy. My troubles are inexplicable to ordinary people. The material conditions at home are considered well-to-do and there is no shortage of anything. However, material satisfaction and emotional fulfillment (emotional blog, let’s talk about emotions) are two different things. I like to listen to music at home, read novels, and watch TV when I have a rest, but Jane has too many active cells in her body and likes to be lively. Such a good home cannot keep him, and he always has to come back very late every day. In his schedule, he goes to exercise with his colleagues on the evenings of January 3 and 5, goes to "Wall Street English" on the evening of February 4, and attends training courses during the day on Saturdays. Even at home on Sundays, he would watch DVDs for half a day. He said this was necessary relaxation.

In this way, I usually stay alone in my beautifully decorated but deserted home after get off work. I am very lonely in such a marriage that lacks communication, so I am often unhappy with him. But my husband was surprised by my dissatisfaction. He said that this is how modern men should live. Men without status and social interaction will lose everything. He also accused me of living too happy a life and that my moodiness was completely unwarranted. Although he said this, I thought that in the first two years of marriage, he was not like this. At that time, he knew how to create a family atmosphere, and he was also very considerate of me. Even if I went to the beauty salon to have my face done, he would patiently accompany me there. But I don’t know when I started to fade out of his world, and this family couldn’t keep him.

To be honest, I cherish the relationship between Jane and I. Looking at the lives of many married women around me, it is just like what is described in the book: Marriage is like water, what shape does it take? What kind of shape will it take in the container... Don't they also live like this day by day? Since Jane likes this kind of lifestyle and it is difficult for him to change, then I am the only one who has adapted to him and adapted to a life that is not single but seems to be single. I was like a dancer in gorgeous clothes, dancing on the stage without background music, but my temperament became depressed and even a little neurotic.

This is God’s reward for me

In the past few years of marriage, I have never been pregnant. I went to several hospitals and took a lot of medicine, but nothing worked.

Unexpectedly, just when Jane and I had given up hope, when cracks appeared in our relationship, I would actually become pregnant!

I was so happy when I got the test results in the hospital. I felt that the happy bird finally flew into our home, which was God’s reward for my patience over the past few years. The night I came back from the hospital, I put on my most beautiful pajamas and waited for Jane, wanting to give him a surprise! He came back, no different from all the late nights. He glanced at me lightly and said, "Aren't you asleep yet?" Then he sat on the sofa and smoked a cigarette and read the newspaper. Seeing him turning a blind eye, I was very happy as if someone poured cold water on me. I couldn't help but blame him: "You know, you are going to be a father, and you still have this tone that means nothing." Care!" Unexpectedly, he was stunned for a moment, then lowered his head and remained silent. I said angrily: "Since you don't care about me, it doesn't matter whether you have children or not. It would have been better if I had known this."

"It's still too late if you don't want it now. I'm already annoyed enough." Why are you causing trouble?" He raised his head and roared into the study. I was stunned for an unknown amount of time. After a long blank moment, a thought jumped out: He should be happy to finally have a child, but he was like this. Could it be that he no longer wanted this family? Thinking of this, I broke away from my usual patience and rushed into the study to pick up Jane who was confused on the sofa. I was eager to prove what was going on. He was woken up, blinked and looked at me, turned around and fell asleep again. I was unwilling to give in and forced him over... He sat up and yelled: "Are you done?" Then he climbed onto the bed in the bedroom and covered his head with the quilt.

I cried, crying very sadly. And Jane slept soundly that night, letting me cry. I don't know what made him become so cold-hearted and cold-hearted.

This reason is so low-level

In fact, the relationship between Jane and I has been out of balance since the beginning of our relationship. I came from a working-class family, and his father was a professor at the university we attended, and my mother was the vice president of a company. We were in love at the time, but his parents strongly opposed it, causing an "uproar" on campus - at that time, he would rather run away from home than marry me. My parents couldn't resist their son, so we finally got married. However, our relationship secretly deteriorated. He seemed to be the benefactor of love, and I was overwhelmed with gratitude for repaying my kindness. After graduating from college, he joined a foreign-funded company through his parents' relationship, and was highly appreciated by his boss; I joined a real estate company.

Although there are obvious differences in family, social status, and income between his and I, these are all objective realities. I don't understand why he could ignore all this before, but now he can't arouse his enthusiasm even after finally having a child?

One Sunday afternoon, Jane and I agreed to visit a friend of his at his house. Before going out, he answered the phone. He hesitated for a moment and said, "I have a meeting today to ask for leave." Then he hung up the phone. That afternoon at my friend's house, I felt that Jane was always uneasy, and my heart was full of doubts. When I got home in the evening and waited for him to go to the study to surf the Internet, I called back according to the caller ID. There was a female voice that I was very familiar with - she was the director of another department in Jane's company, and she was about the same age as me. A very attractive woman with whom he had a good relationship.

When I heard her voice, I hung up the phone without saying anything. Afterwards, I called another good friend in Jane's company who is also the department head. After asking, the result was that there was no meeting at all in the company that day!

This phone call is certainly not enough to show that his relationship with her is abnormal, but it is not normal to lie about having a meeting instead of having a meeting on a day off. Then I thought about how many times Jane had praised her femininity in front of me, how they had been taking classes and working out together in their spare time, and how many times they had gone on business trips to other places together... That day I couldn't help but ask Jane to explain clearly, what the hell was going on between him and her. What is the relationship. If I don't make it clear, I will go to his company tomorrow and ask the boss why she lied despite not having a meeting. Unexpectedly, Jane was forced to say something like this: "This is all her wishful thinking and clinging to me...didn't you see that I rejected her?" I said: "If you didn't react at all, would she cling to you like that? ..." "It's just that I'm afraid of her, I can't afford to offend such a woman..." Originally, I was sad about his coldness towards me, but after hearing these words from him that night, I despised him very much.

If he falls in love with someone else, at least because of love, my pain will be worthwhile; but he is simply playing a game, clinging to others, and slandering others! At this time, my first thought was, how can I live with such a person? He is so ruthless and unjust, so let’s get divorced!

I am not afraid of raising my children alone

To be honest, although I found out that Jane was emotionally unfaithful to me, I was resentful, angry and extremely disappointed, but I really wanted a divorce. I am still very hesitant. After all, we have gone through a lot of hardships together hand in hand, not to mention that I am pregnant with a child now. I still hope that he can turn around and take responsibility for the family. But he seemed to have taken an ecstasy soup, even turning a deaf ear to his parents' persuasion, and still went his own way with an air of indifference. I don’t understand myself either, why I am still waiting for such a heartless man to change his mind, why am I still seeking his love in my heart, and what is the significance of all this? That's what I think, but it's really difficult to let go all of a sudden.

However, it is difficult for me to swallow this breath of living like this. We have only been married for five or six years, and he no longer cares about me. What's more, he has no true repentance. How will he live in the future? Thinking that there is still a long way to go in life, and thinking of the devastation a loveless family life has on people, I still made up my mind to end this loveless marriage. I'm not afraid of raising my children alone, and I'm not afraid that no one will love me anymore. I believe there will always be people who are moved by sincerity and kindness, as long as I still believe in true love.

I feel that after experiencing this emotional change, I will become more mature, independent and intellectual.

Little information: What kind of marriage is safer?

The first condition for a safe marriage is overall balance. Divided by type, relatively stable marriages include————

Same-sided marriage has a high degree of tacit understanding, complete relaxation, and is also a basically safe combination. This type of marriage is peaceful and comfortable, but it may be susceptible to extramarital temptations due to lack of passion.

The so-called "complementarity" of complementary marriage is only in personality and other forms. Career type and life type, rational type and impulsive type, etc., must remain basically the same in content. Otherwise, you will feel difficult in your married life.

Two war-type people have been quarreling all their lives. They are annoyed when they are together, and think again and again without seeing each other. They have never decided whether to win or lose, so they are still unfinished, and no one can live without the other. People say It's called "Happy Enemies."

Mutual Appreciation Type This is a kind of marriage where each other is treated as a guest. Because there is an appropriate distance, there are certain reservations. There is no excessive expectation for the other party, but there is always a feeling of joy. Therefore Has lasting appeal.

In interest-based marriages, couples have a relatively strong interest relationship, which plays a greater role in the stability of the marriage. The economic "balance of power" has a great restrictive effect on the integrity of the family.

In an idol-type marriage, one party completely surrenders to the other party's feet. This type of marriage remains balanced for a long time, unless something unexpected happens; the psychological level between the two is obviously conducive to family stability.

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