Faced with fierce competition and cruel exclusion in society, more and more people like to "pretend to be young", act childishly, and long to return to the world of children. But if this mentality develops to an extreme, you will indulge in your own fantasies and refuse to grow up. This extreme form of psychology is called "Peter Pan syndrome" and is characterized as a mental illness.

After several years of failed efforts, 27-year-old Marcela decided to divorce her 30-year-old husband Eduardo. Eduardo is a teacher at a private university, and conflicts between the couple arose soon after their marriage. Marcela felt that her husband had no ambitions and was submissive. She said angrily: "He smiles all day long and has no ambition at all in academics and work."

Many of her husband's behaviors after marriage made Marcela Lapo was puzzled. Eduardo likes to collect toys such as electric trains and remote-controlled cars, so that the children can play with them when they grow up. In fact, Eduardo likes to play with these toys more than the children. Eduardo's hobbies don't stop there. He spends most of his free time playing video games, and every time before leaving for work, he hides the game console where his children can't find it, on the grounds that "children will It broke”.

Eduardo is a "Peter Pan"

Marcela ordered her husband to see a doctor. After examination, the doctor only found that Eduardo was a little overweight. That was because he often sat in front of the TV and ate fried food, cold drinks and various snacks. In addition, he could not find the root cause of these eccentricities.

Marcela despaired of her husband's child's temper and sought help from a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist told her that Eduardo's symptoms were out-and-out "Peter Pan syndrome." Although people suffering from "Peter Pan syndrome" have reached adulthood physically, they are not yet able to adapt to it psychologically. They talk and behave like children, always evading responsibilities, life, and love. They usually live with their parents even when they are not young, and do not think about long-term matters.

When talking about "Peter Pan Syndrome", we have to mention the little Peter Pan. In 1904, Peter Pan was born from the pen of Scottish writer James Barry. He later became a well-known fairy tale character, and his stories have been adapted to the screen many times. Peter Pan lives in the dreamy "Neverland" and never wants to grow up, but after all, this can only appear in fairy tales and cannot be accepted by reality. Patients with "Peter Pan syndrome" are the real-life Peter Pan.

In 1966, psychiatrist Eric Byrne first proposed the concept of groups with difficulties in psychological maturity. In 1983, American psychologist Dan Keeley also wrote an article describing this group: "This type of people longs to play the role of children forever rather than becoming parents." These Peter Pans are very playful and easy to get along with, but they are inevitably There are also many children's weaknesses, such as indecisiveness, lack of self-protection awareness, desire to be accepted and fear of rejection, etc. Therefore, their behavior is very inappropriate for their age. In most cases, this is harmless, but one day, when they suddenly understand that life is not as satisfactory as they imagined, it is too late.

Life in "Neverland"

Young people are more likely to suffer from "Peter Pan syndrome", and of course there are also patients over 40 years old. Generally speaking, the patient's spouse and friends can detect the symptoms at the first time, but they are often unwilling to admit it.

Marcela’s husband Eduardo is a typical patient with “Peter Pan syndrome”. As the only son in the family, Eduardo has an extremely close relationship with his mother, and the two eat together every day. Eduardo's overly close relationship with his mother was another important reason why Marcela filed for divorce. In order to take care of her children, Marcela had previously quit her job to stay at home and be both a father and a mother. What troubles her even more is that she also has to compete with her mother-in-law for Eduardo's attention, which makes her mentally overwhelmed.

Now, Marcela lives with her two children, while Eduardo has moved back to live with his mother. Not even the breakdown of the family could make Eduardo mature.

Mexico doctor Salin Pascual said: "In Mexico, it is a traditional custom for several generations to live under the same roof. After the son gets married, he takes the bride home to live with his parents. Some parents Indulging young people in everything is harmful to the younger generation. Some old parents do not actively help their sons become independent men, but allow them to watch TV or play with friends at home all day long. "This expert pointed out. Children who grow up in this environment are very dependent on others and are used to letting others take responsibility for their actions. They hope that others can do things they cannot do. At the same time, they are self-centered, willful and narcissistic - they are very Possibly a real-life Peter Pan.

Dr. Salin-Pascual said that "Peter Pan syndrome" is caused by the family education environment. He said: "Parents always believe that childhood is the best time in life, and they should try to meet their children's needs without letting them shoulder responsibilities. This kind of thinking of parents will give children the illusion that life will always be just a collection of toys. , snacks and playgrounds”

The best therapy: facing reality

People suffering from "Peter Pan Syndrome" often live a life of inaction. Their symptoms not only lead to family breakdown like the protagonist described at the beginning of this article, but also tend to make them indulge in addiction in order to obtain temporary satisfaction in the loss. Alcohol and drugs.

Roberto Turubiades, director of the Mexican Psychotherapy Association, warned that "Peter Pan syndrome" will have a significant impact on patients' interpersonal relationships. He said: "Because they are immature in dealing with emotional issues and cannot be persistent, they are unlikely to have a fixed life partner. Even if they establish a formal relationship, the other party will treat them as children." He believes that this disease It is difficult to cure with medication and the only way is to receive psychological therapy. However, as the saying goes, "One's nature is easy to change, but one's nature is hard to change." The living habits and outlook on life that patients have developed over the years cannot be changed by family members alone. They can only be changed by psychiatrists.

Experts agree that the best way to help a patient get rid of "Peter Pan syndrome" is to force him to face reality and bear the consequences of his actions, telling him: "No one is responsible for you." The responsibilities you should bear; if you don’t go to the bank to pay the bill, no one will pay it for you; if you fall asleep, no one will wake you up..." It will be painful at first, but the situation will get better and better. .

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