Postpartum sex life: Don’t let your figure take away your “sexual happiness”

Researchers at the University of London in the UK conducted a survey on 11,000 men and women aged 16 to 44 years old. Research has found that compared with couples who became parents 30 years ago and are now middle-aged and older, 60% of new mothers today have low sexual desire due to lack of sleep, and 84% of couples believe that sleepiness has taken away their shared sexual desire. "Sexual interest". Parents with children younger than 5 years old usually lack the most sleep and have the lowest frequency of sex, and the process is always accompanied by restlessness and anxiety. After increasing their sleep time, the situation improved greatly. Sex was no longer a topic outside the couple's life. Even the eyes they looked at each other every day were full of warmth, and the family relationship became more harmonious and happy.

After childbirth, the figure loses shape and the husband’s sexual interest is greatly reduced

Many new mothers also report that after giving birth, their bodies are not as big as before, and they are not interested in doing routines. During sex, even the husband becomes sexually uninterested. It is difficult to have a sexual life, but often because you are not confident in sex, you become more and more passive. My husband also reported that many postpartum women feel that they lack initiative in their sexual life, and most of them are routine. Carefully analyze the reasons for the loss of sexual interest. If it is due to body shape, it is recommended that postpartum women pay attention to restoring their figure. There is a saying that maintaining a perfect figure is the best way to love your husband. Secondly, if it is a psychological reason, you must communicate with your husband in time. For some women, after giving birth to a baby, their husband’s status is not as good as before. They focus all their attention on the child, and their husband becomes a dispensable decoration. Men feel an unprecedented sense of “abandonment”, which also leads to postpartum sexual intercourse. One of the reasons for the sharp decline. At this time, while taking good care of the baby, the new mother should also pay attention to transferring more love from the baby to the husband.

Lack of sleep makes it difficult to have "sexual happiness"

Lack of sleep will not only make you anxious and lack of energy, but also affect the "sexual interest" between couples, especially when the baby is still young Among young parents, conflicts caused by lack of sleep are more common. Therefore, maintaining adequate sleep can maintain strong sexual performance. To maintain optimal sexual performance, you need to maintain 7 to 8 hours of sleep. People who sleep late should also ensure that they sleep for 6 hours throughout the day.

Scientific adjustment to get rid of "sexual fatigue"

Sex is one of the most profound and intense human instincts, and therefore one of the most essential activities. Therefore, the ancients said: Food and sex are also factors. However, if couples stay in marriage for a long time, they will find that love, like all fine clothes, will be marked by time.

As some people have concluded, "Touching your lover's hand is like touching your left hand to your right hand, without any passion at all..." and "After ten years of marriage, making love is like brushing your teeth." Both husband and wife are in good health and in the prime of life, but they have no interest in sex. This kind of trouble that modern couples have in their sexual life is called "sexual fatigue" by experts.

In one case, Xiao Min is a young woman who has given birth to a baby three years ago. Her husband Liu An, who is five years older than her, is the boss of an advertising company. Xiao Min is becoming more and more dissatisfied with Liu An's recent performance. Every day he goes out early in the morning and usually comes back very late, while Liu An either smells of alcohol or looks tired, and always goes to the sofa. You'll fall asleep as soon as you fall down. Xiao Min couldn't figure it out. Her husband was always well-behaved and energetic in front of outsiders, but he was listless when he got home. Occasionally having sex, her husband was also absent-minded.

Xiao Min followed her husband several times, but she never caught him having an affair. Liu An was indeed busy with work, planning, socializing, and meetings... in short, every day. Lots of things to do. Xiao Min then thought helplessly, instead of doing this, it would be better to go back to the poor years a few years ago, where the young couple loved each other and had endless sweetness and happiness. But now, they make more money than in the past. On the contrary, there is less "love" in Kouzi.

Needless to say, many men and women in modern times have lamented "I am too tired today". In the day after day of fatigue, passion disappears unknowingly...

From a physiological point of view, only aging will affect sexual desire. But now people suffering from sexual fatigue are young and in good health. For them, the most important and powerful factor that inhibits sexual desire is the slowly accumulated psychological fatigue. This fatigue has a negative impact on male sexual desire. The devastation is more severe and lasting. Therefore, negative emotions such as tension and depression cannot allow sexual desire to be expressed smoothly, which is the root cause of sexual fatigue.

There are also some sexologists who think about the issue of "sexual fatigue" from a deep level. They believe that this reflects the disorder of contemporary human nature from one aspect. On the one hand, foreign sexual morality began to have an impact on the younger generation, who became confused in their indulgence; on the other hand, the fast pace of modern society disrupted people's original pastoral family life (including sexual life). The psychological rhythm of quite a few people is too late to adjust or adapt, which inevitably affects their sexual life, so that "sexual fatigue" has become a certain urban disease or phenomenon. This is the invasion of industrial society into agricultural society.

"Fatigue" also has its positive meaning

Some men are worried about their "sexual fatigue". Gender experts think it is unnecessary. Experts point out that sexual fatigue also has its certain positive meanings. significance.

The positive significance of sexual fatigue is:

1. Fatigue is inevitable and natural, and it has a protective effect on the recovery of physical strength.

2. Sexual fatigue has a habituation process or an adaptation process. Just like people's familiarity, adaptation and habituation to exercise fatigue and labor fatigue, the fatigue of sexual life will naturally come to ordinary couples who have lived together for many years with familiarity, adaptation and habituation. If this kind of sexual fatigue causes psychological torture between husband and wife, this is a disease, which will affect the harmony of the family and the physical and mental health of both husband and wife.

Sexologists say that since it is normal for "ordinary couples" who have lived together for many years to enter a period of fatigue, "sexual fatigue" is an objective reality. So the most important thing is how to face it. How couples regulate their emotions, cultivate and even develop their sexual intercourse, and enjoy their sexual intercourse will become an important topic among contemporary urbanites. Director Gao said that for couples with a tight pace of life and heavy work pressure, communicating more before having sex, talking heart-to-heart, and talking are a good way to release stress. When the stress is released, the "sexual" fun will naturally increase. came back.

Four formulas for relieving "sexual fatigue"

As for how to solve the problem of sexual fatigue among new mothers, gender experts believe that one of the following four principles must be suitable for you. We might as well call these four principles the “Four Formulas.”

Formula 1: Have sex as you want, there is no standard for the number of times you have sex. Don't think that having sex once a week is abnormal compared to other people's night after night. As long as both husband and wife feel satisfied, there is nothing abnormal even if they have sex once every half month. Everyone's physiological needs are different. Don't set a target for the frequency of sexual life, such as how many times a week you want to have sex, how long each time should not be less, etc. Moreover, individual sexual life will also be different, and it needs to be fully coordinated. You cannot ask the other party to cooperate according to your own rules and regulations.

Formula 2: Sensual contact does not necessarily mean sexual behavior. Men generally believe that sexual contact must include sexual intercourse. This is wrong. Sexual life includes many aspects, and sexual intercourse does not necessarily have to be included every time. Women know best the fact that a certain sense of thoughtfulness is enough. That is to say, when she takes the initiative to hug you, she doesn't necessarily ask you to "really do it". Maybe she just wants to find a warm feeling.

Formula 3: Carry out in a planned manner. In situations such as when the sexual life time of two people is not coordinated, it is actually beneficial to make a "sex life plan". Especially for couples after giving birth to a baby, the sex plan is especially important. For example, some people like to have sex late at night, and some people like to have sex in the morning. In order not to affect sleep and work, they can make an agreement with each other, so that there will be no "sex" at the wrong time and each other not sleeping happily.

Formula 4: Play some romantic tricks. Everything is so familiar to an old couple. They look the same with their eyes closed, so let's have some romance and creativity. For example, after properly arranging the baby, you can play the "lover's lovemaking method", make an appointment from time to time and then go to a restaurant for a meal, then go to the river to look at the stars and the moon, and then go to the hotel together for a night, so as to Enjoy sex with a relaxed mind. Let love have no fixed pattern, just like the sun rising every morning, it is new every day.