Post-80s: Are you willing to be a door-to-door son-in-law?
In the traditional concept of the Chinese people, it does not seem to be a glorious thing for a man to become a "son-in-law" in his wife's family. A latest online survey shows that more than 60% of unmarried men express their willingness to become "door-to-door sons-in-law."
It has nothing to do with status or face
After graduating from Qinghai University, Liu Tao worked as a planning manager in a company in Shanghai. His girlfriend was from Shanghai and was an only child, so it was natural for them to live at the girl's parents' house after they got married.
Liu Tao talked about his feelings when he first got married: "I was not used to it at first, and I felt psychologically awkward. But my parents-in-law are very kind people. I heard that there is a saying in Shanghai: 'Mother-in-law looks at her. Son-in-law, the more I look at it, the happier I am. They treat me like a son and don’t care at all.”
Two years later, Liu Tao used the money he saved to buy a second house with a loan. The living room in the living room was located in a community close to the home of my parents-in-law. Every morning, when the young couple go out to work, Liu Tao's mother-in-law comes to help them clean. After get off work, he arrived at his parents-in-law's house on time for dinner, and then the young couple walked home hand in hand.
At the end of last year, Liu Tao’s daughter was born. He moved his family to his parents-in-law's house to take care of his children. Liu Tao said: "After living with my parents-in-law for a long time, I have completely adapted to life in Shanghai. In fact, for a man to knock on the door of a woman's home, or for a woman to marry into the man's home, it has no issue with status or face in big cities now. The most important thing is how to handle the relationship between the family so that they can get along harmoniously and be happy in everything.”
Qi Lin is 25 years old and has no girlfriend yet. His ideas are quite common among those born in the 1980s. representativeness. "It is really difficult for boys who have just started working for a few years to buy a house in Shanghai. If you find a girl with a better family background and no longer have to worry about the house problem, your life will be much easier. So, be a 'door-to-door son-in-law' "What's wrong?"
Most feel happy
"Do you think the 'son-in-law' will be happy?" There is such a question in the online survey. In this regard, 82% of the respondents feel that they are quite happy.
Tan Ming, who has been married for half a year, said that his parents-in-law treat him like a son and he is very filial, often accompanying them to have morning tea and take walks. "As a 'door-to-door son-in-law', my biggest feeling is that my father-in-law is very considerate of me. For example, when we quarrel, my father-in-law will never speak for my daughter, but will favor me. They respect me very much, so I treat me twice as much." Good for them." Tan Ming also joked that another advantage of "barging on the door upside down" is that when a couple quarrels or fights, they don't have to worry about their wife running away. "Because he is a 'home son-in-law', no matter how his wife runs away, she will always run within the circle of this family, so she can rest assured."
The reason why the marriages of the new "door-stepping" families are happy are related to There is a close relationship between the improvement of personal qualities of both parties in a marriage. The survey shows that the academic qualifications and quality of "home-based sons-in-law" have improved significantly. In the past, there were many son-in-laws from out of town who were in junior high school or high school, but now they have at least a college degree or above, and there are even "son-in-laws" with master's degrees and doctorates. At the same time, the daughter-in-law found by the "home son-in-law" is also good. These women's families are generally wealthy, with higher salaries and higher education. Therefore, they pay more attention to the man's character and character, but do not have high material requirements for him.
Both parties need to work hard
Some respondents also think that it is not easy to be a "home son-in-law".
Xiao Yongchun just got married before the Spring Festival and now lives in a house bought by his father-in-law. For this reason, Xiao Yong is often teased by his friends, saying that he not only married a wife, but also "married" a house. "I feel very uncomfortable and feel very shameless." Moreover, his parents are also worried about him, fearing that he will have no status in the family after marriage and will not be able to speak.
For the "son-in-law", their marriage is destined to be more than just a matter of two people. Therefore, as a new "son-in-law", you must have good psychological endurance. It is important to understand that the form of marriage is not important, what is important is to manage the lives of two people carefully.
The woman's attitude and performance are particularly important in a "cut-in" marriage. Wang Tingting and her husband who "cut in the door" are recognized as a model couple. Talking about their experience, Tingting said: "We have never had any conflicts because he is a 'son-in-law'. I know that men are face-saving, and my mother is afraid He can't live up to his reputation, and he often teaches me to be careful with my words and not to hurt his self-esteem. Therefore, whenever there is a big issue in our family, we always ask for his opinion first, so that he can feel that he is the master of the family. "Don't be condescending, and we must live in harmony." It is the art of living.
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