When I was a child, I was most looking forward to wearing new clothes during the Chinese New Year. Before the adults even put up the window grilles, I was already clamoring to go out with lanterns and set off cannons. The cannons are the kind of small cannons from Liuyang. You can dismantle them one by one and put them in your coat pocket. Take a stick of incense and find a corner. Such simple fun can sustain you for the next whole year when you think about it.

When I grew up, I finally stopped being greedy and obsessed with the new clothes and fireworks on New Year’s Eve.

Know that no matter whether you say goodbye to the old and welcome the new or not, the old will still have to go, and the new will still come.

Just like in the first few years of talking, I like to do a year-end inventory.

This kind of thought is much lighter now, and the deepest meaning, like good wine, has long been buried deep in my heart.

On such a wonderful day, I still want to give our dear readers a "good" word.

It is your "goodness" that has made "Talk Space" flourish and grow.

On behalf of my good partners An Dong, Mu Qiong and Wei Ran, I wish you good things and success in the coming year. In the coming year, we will meet you on the forum as promised, continue to listen attentively and write down with emotion. Unswervingly pay attention to and wait for those weak, weak, sad, and silent lives; do not be afraid of those lonely backs and those moments of hidden pain. Because you have us.

Interviewee: Tang Tang, female, 29 years old. She is approaching thirty and is about to enter the ranks of older leftover women. Decadent still doesn't understand why among his classmates, he alone can't find the one he likes to stay with forever? After some communication, Decadent finally understood that the person who really hindered her from getting married was herself.

Decadent Monologue

I remember Yi Shu said in a novel: "When we were young, we all liked men who looked like gigolos. They were tall, handsome and graceful. They could drive and dance all day long. Wearing a purple cloak and kissing passionately under the bright sun, preferably until your lips burst..." Haha, the scene she described exactly fits all my imagination of men--

The man I like, Always a type.

He should be tall and domineering, and he should speak his mind to a certain extent when facing women. To be honest, I even pay special attention to men who are a bit macho. I think such men are more masculine than men who respect women. Anyway, I like a man with a bit of evil in him. Would a man who is too nice, too loyal, and too silent be too meek? I have no idea. Don't forget that all my classmates and good friends are married, but I don't want their husbands for free. If I were to live with a man like that, I would feel no passion.

This is something I only discovered recently. I have dated many men over the years. I am born in the 1980s and am not traditional. Sometimes I am even more fashionable than those born in the 1990s. I can accept online dating and I can accept short-term one-night stands. But without exception, all the men I've been with are pretty much the same. I don't know if this is me being too naive or too mature?

I remember Yi Shu said in a novel: "When we were children, we all liked men who looked like gigolos. They were tall, handsome and graceful. They were good at driving and dancing. They wore purple cloaks and kissed passionately under the bright sun all day long. It was best to kiss them. Lips burst..." Haha, the scene she described happened to fit all my imagination of men. If I want to marry in the future, I will definitely marry such a man. Of course, deep down I still hope he doesn’t look too much like a gigolo (laughs). Deep down he should be loyal to me. I'm afraid of that kind of warm water. There is a kind of man who is submissive, gentle, and whining. When you look at it, you want to go over and beat him a few times. How can you marry him? There is also a kind of man who sits there like a piece of wood, answering whatever you ask, and not wanting to take the initiative to say a word to you for a long time. If such a person became my husband, would I have to die of oppression?

I still remember my first boyfriend after going to work. He had a wife. In fact, he didn’t hide it from me, and I didn’t ask too much. He was already thirty-four years old at the time. I'm not too rich, but it's okay. I can go out for a meal, go for a drive, etc. It's not a problem. We were very happy when we were together, a bit like carpe diem. He opened up the most secret part of me as a woman and let me know that being a woman can also be very happy. He is a man who understands women very well. It turns out that there is a lot of knowledge in this. Compared with him, the love experiences I had in college were not even close to the level of preschool. I think this may be the reason why young girls like mature men. They are like good teachers, leading you into the garden of love, and then spending money is no problem.

Of course I no longer have this capital. I am no longer a young girl. I should pack up and live another life. A kind of ordinary life of raising husband and raising children. Every woman must go through such a transition.

When I was 24 years old, I completely separated from this person.

First, because his wife came back from abroad. Then there was a minor car accident that year. I broke my bones and lay in bed for three months, but he never came to see me once. I was completely heartbroken and vowed never to see him again. But lately, I still think of him. I think people can't actually compete with their own memories. The part about him in the memory is as beautiful as the movie scenes. We basically never quarreled, and we didn't talk much about breaking up, so it just settled down. Now that I think about it, I am more and more envious of being his wife. How exciting it is to have such a husband.

My classmates all said that it was unrealistic for me to do this. They have been introducing me to boyfriends, but I always call those they remind me to be wary of. Then, I have no feelings at all about those they grandly introduce and recommend, some who seem to be loyal and honest.

With all the delays, my marriage has really become a problem.

I don’t like anyone who can marry; but I can’t marry anyone I like.

Later, I also consulted my friends’ opinions and asked myself to try dating a nerd. In the end, we broke up. He actually proposed to me, but during the six months I spent with him, I realized one thing, that is, no matter whether I marry him or not, I will never see him. People who can't even come out. So in the future, if our honeymoon includes having children, apart from facing the wall and asking for help, what is the difference between me and a woman without a husband?

What’s even more ridiculous is that he can’t even kiss. The 32-year-old man is pathetically clumsy in these areas. I really wasn't in the mood to face his innocent, desireless look when he looked at me.

You know Alai, when I told my introducers like this, they all laughed out loud.

They say that good men are simple. You want a complicated man, but is such a man suitable for marriage?

Yes, is a man like that suitable for marriage?

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I asked them, what about your own husbands? What is it like?

They said, we are not as complicated as you. We fell in love naturally and then got married naturally. We didn't think much about it before we got married. Aren’t all men the same? How can there be so many differences?

I also know that I think too much. But I can’t do it if I don’t want to. He is the kind of man you like, no matter how much you stay with him, you will never get tired of him. It's not what you like. Staying for any longer will be torture.

In fact, not only women like men with a little evil spirit, but men also like women with a little evil spirit.

Look at those good men and women, haven’t they all been abandoned?

My former aunt was a much better person than my current little aunt, but what did she get? Haven't you been kicked out by my uncle? My uncle's newly married aunt doesn't know how to do anything, but my uncle still treats her as his treasure.

My mother said that every generation in our family will have an alternative.

The previous generation was my uncle, and this generation is me.

But even my uncle is trying to persuade me to find an honest man to marry. He said that when marrying a man, marry his strength first and his character second. I asked him, what about passion? Passion, he said, can be created.

Unfortunately, until now, I have not found a good husband who is both passionate and kind.

But a while ago, I met a man who had just been divorced. We had several mutual friends, so we met while swimming outside. We started dating alone. He is still mature. Although he cannot compare with the original 34-year-old man, he is better than the others who came after him. The only bad thing is that he is divorced. But what makes me feel more wronged than his marriage history is his current attitude towards me. Do you remember the relationship between Tan Ailin and Wu Yuefeng in "I Want to Fall in Love"? The two of us are somewhat similar to them now. Everything makes sense, but he just won't talk to me about marriage. We have known each other for half a year, and have become close to each other as husband and wife. However, he still doesn't want me to get too close to his life circle. His physical closeness to me and his mental wariness often made me feel an unpleasant feeling, which was neither pleasant nor uneasy. If I couldn't bear it anymore, I would quarrel with him, but every time we quarreled, he would give in to me. No matter what you said, he would just do Tai Chi with you. The sweetest words he ever said to me were only when we were lingering. I don’t know whether I am his companion or girlfriend? He limited his physical acquaintance with me to this.

Last time, I played a little trick and took one less pill, and I really got pregnant.

I was very nervous at the time. I saw many TV dramas in which a woman found out she had a child, and then ran to tell the man, and the man said, let’s get married. Sounds mundane, right? But I really hope he can say these five words to me when he hears the news.

This is my kind of proposal in disguise. It is also a kind of curve to save the country.

Guess what? I asked him out. He said he was too busy recently and it might take a few days. I just said it couldn't take more than a few days, it was very urgent. He said let’s talk on the phone. You know how reluctant I am, but I have no choice. He is a stock trader, and his time during the day is money. So I have to keep the story short. I told him hesitantly that I had it. He said a calm "Oh" and hung up.

I burst into tears at that time. I have never been so aggrieved. never.

When our classmate accompanied me to the hospital, she still tried to persuade me. She was so sad. I think she was too busy at the time and didn’t listen clearly. Otherwise, he will definitely come with you.

Alai, I don't believe it. I don't believe that a grown man is insensitive to his girlfriend saying the words "I have it" and can't hear it. That day at the obstetrics and gynecology center, I saw that most of the women were accompanied by men. It was at that moment that I began to long for marriage. Longing for marriage, longing for a man, a husband who can help me come out of the operating room, button my buttons, and help me walk through the corridor...

Notes

Complaining Before that, take a look at the steering wheel in your hands.

If your wheels are not straight, no matter how well the road is paved, it will still be useless.

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