There are often so-called marriage bureaus for rich people, with different conditions, but there is always one clause: the target must be a virgin. A few days ago, a divorced rich man publicly proposed for marriage. There were many outstanding women at the scene, but none of them were virgins. In the end, the rich man left in frustration.

Ziqi’s comment:

Virginity is an old topic, and readers often talk about it to me. But times are changing after all: more than ten years ago, men talked about their virginity complex in a confident tone; but now, many people will add "I know I am feudal and outdated, but..." Society's acceptance of wrongdoing is no longer the same. And words.

Like virgins is not out of date, because "worship for the first time" is the basic element and driving force of human culture: the first ear of rice in autumn, the first human footprint on the moon, the first time a woman became a head of state, The first time a female astronaut went to space, and the first time women's rights were written into the legal code... they were all endowed with far-reaching significance. If mankind gave up the pursuit of "first", many great civilizations would not be born. Women are also the beneficiaries of "worshiping the first time". The "virginity movement" that has revived in the West in recent years has attracted many women to participate. Virgins are always deeply proud of their "purity".

It is not wrong to "like" a virgin, but "being obsessed with" it is another matter. In the cases I have come into contact with, the clients, both male and female, are always anxious, frustrated and disappointed. The superficial reason is "virgin complex", but there are more complex psychological reasons underlying it, which have nothing to do with "worshiping the first time".

Behind the virginity complex, the most common thing is male anxiety. From time to time, I see some men angrily criticizing their faults, saying that they are not worthy of getting married, that they have no right to complain about their husbands cheating, and that they deserve to be subjected to domestic violence... This is a typical male-dominance anxious person, and the logic involved is "find a reason, let them Men continue to dominate women” – why the outrage? Of course, men's rights have been challenged in modern times, and women's emphasis on the right to control their own bodies has made them increasingly panicked.

Another kind of men do not demean women, but ask me naggingly, "Will the first man never forget the first one?"; others firmly believe that the first man will change the structure of a woman's body and make her The offspring conceived with other people will have advanced characteristics. This kind of man is afraid of same-sex comparison, and the underlying reason is the ultimate anxiety about sexual ability. When facing experienced women, they worry about their performance; only when facing virgins can they let go of the pressure and not be afraid of being frustrated by another man - winning or losing is a game they play with themselves.

There is also a kind of man who is quite conflicted. When he learns that his girlfriend is cheating, he emphasizes that he "doesn't care", but when they have a quarrel, he uses it as a threat, "I tolerate you, but you do this to me?" If his girlfriend breaks up sadly, he will keep her, stressing again that he "doesn't care, he just talks about it on impulse" - what this kind of man really wants is not a virgin, but a virginity. He needs a "stained lover" so that he can seize the opportunity and use it to restrain the other party when necessary. This kind of person is hostile to the world and has no self-confidence. He always needs to grasp the weaknesses of others to feel safe.

Struggling with virginity complex needs to be solved through growth. Growth means that men accept the truth that "there is no perfection in the world"; accept women as an equal gender; accept their own inner conflicts and reconcile the conflicts in their personalities... Obviously, this is not a simple gender war. Therefore, the topic of virginity will continue.

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