I was born in the late 1950s, which was a very special period, and my student days spanned the entire Cultural Revolution. It can be said that during the growth of our generation, sex education and sexual enlightenment were almost zero, and talking about sex became perverted, and sex became synonymous with dirty, obscene, and shameless. This feeling followed me through my girlhood and youth. That abnormal education has brought many emotional shortcomings to our generation, as well as unnecessary fear and sorrow. It wasn't until I got married, and after a considerable period of psychological adjustment, that I was able to regard sex as a normal and even beautiful need in life.

I remember that when I was in the fourth grade of elementary school, my breasts started to develop. Faced with the red, swollen and painful breasts, I was terrified, but I didn’t dare to tell anyone. I was in panic all day, couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep well, and couldn’t read. No thoughts either. It wasn't until one day after school that a very close female classmate's chest was touched by a classmate, causing her to scream in pain, that I realized that she had the same "disease" as me. Knowing that there are people like them, the two people who share the same problem are relieved and happily leave school. It wasn’t until later that I accidentally learned from a book: This is called pubertal development.

Every stage of physiological changes in the future seemed like a terrifying and helpless ordeal for me. Let’s talk about a girl’s menstrual period. Because I came late, I was mysteriously told by my classmates that girls who don’t menstruate are half-men and half-females. So, the fear of becoming half-boys and half-females accompanied me again, until It ends when menstruation comes. Physiological changes have brought too much mental and psychological burden to our ignorant people. Ignorance of sex makes people suffer blows again and again, and even distorts and changes our normal life. In addition to the complete blockade of sex in schools and society, which fails to guide us into a normal life track in time, families also have a share of the responsibility. Our fathers have carefully hidden their emotional world and never let us daughters feel the intimacy and affection between husband and wife. They call each other "Lao Zhang", "Old Man", or simply: "Hey, hello". The division of labor in the family is very clear. In our family, the father is a householder and the mother is a householder. Their lives are regular but rigid, and there is no trace of any emotional life between them. Suddenly one day I glimpsed my parents having another emotion, and the sacred majesty of the past instantly shattered into pieces in my heart. Treating parents as gods lacking in emotions and desires, rather than as the most beloved relatives in the world, is the image that parents have established in the minds of our generation.

When I was a child, I once curiously asked my mother: Where did we children come from? My mother pointed to the armpit under her arm and said, "It came out here." So I believed it. I also occasionally saw my mother changing menstrual paper. Before I could ask, my mother scolded me and said, "It's dirty, don't look at it." This left an impression in my heart that menstruation is dirty. The first sexual shock came from my parents. I just entered middle school at that time. One day during class, it started to rain heavily in the middle of the class, so I hurried home to get an umbrella. Unexpectedly, when I walked into my parents’ bedroom to look for an umbrella, I saw my parents lying together. Although they didn’t take off their clothes, the situation was enough to shock me. Extremely afraid. When I ran out of the house with my face flushed and my heart pounding, I was really embarrassed and annoyed. I didn't understand why my parents, who had always been serious and decent, would do such a thing. In the days that followed, I had a complex emotion towards my parents that I couldn’t explain. There is not only an inseparable blood relationship, but also some psychological rejection and disgust. There was also some curiosity, and I couldn't help but secretly peek at the behavior of my parents, and found that the father, a soldier, and the mother, a housewife, were still so monotonous and serious with each other, and there was no sign that they had ever been intimate. It even made me doubt what I was seeing. Under the influence of this family environment, our physical and mental development becomes more and more abnormal.

Then, there was a second blow. Although the description of love in books was strictly controlled at that time, we still had a sneak peek of "Song of Youth", "Lin Hai Xue Yuan", "Bitter Cauliflower", etc. through various channels. The descriptions of love in the book also make people blush, and often cause lightning-like shocks in their hearts. But we all controlled ourselves strictly and didn't dare to show anything. Once, my girlfriend and I, who had become educated youths going to the countryside, were lying on the bed and chatting. The two of us were talking happily. I waved my hand and accidentally touched her breast. She suddenly fell silent, and I It was as if something had incited him, his heart was so hot that he was speechless for a moment. So, we didn't speak to each other, and our bodies quietly tried to avoid each other. We allowed the budding passion of youth to stir and struggle in our hearts, and we didn't dare to ask or talk. The next day, we were ashamed to look at each other, as if we were caught red-handed as thieves. We were truly ashamed. Just because of this one-time spark, our good friends went from avoiding each other to becoming strangers, and this night became a secret that we were ashamed to share.

During adolescence, sexual excitement and awakening are originally normal physiological manifestations. If we can take advantage of the situation and make it a natural transformation in the mature stage, we can prepare ourselves for future married life. However, because we regard it as a shameful and obscene phenomenon and suppress it as a sin, we deliberately suppress this passion and impulse. Once we really need this feeling, the passion becomes distant and unfamiliar, and sex becomes The climax became an unattainable dream, and naturally there was a third sexual blow.

The first time I had sex with my husband, I was panicked and ignorant. I doubted that I was not a woman capable of having sex. However, after my husband finished the affair, I felt disgusted and uncomfortable with the sticky semen. I felt that all this had really violated our pure and beautiful love. While washing vigorously, I shed tears quietly, feeling that this dirt could never be washed away again. After a while, I gradually realized that it was a wife’s duty to have sex between husband and wife, so I no longer refused my husband’s request, but I only cooperated passively. Sometimes I could even let him do what he did while reading a book, and privately I think that only men need sex, not women. Over time, my husband lost interest and said that I was a wooden person, an iceman, and frigid. It wasn't until one day that I accidentally read a book mentioning frigidity that I realized that I indeed had a sexual disorder.

In fact, there are many such examples among my peers. Once, several friends were chatting about their married life. A colleague said that when she was having sex with her husband, she would close her eyes tightly from beginning to end, gritting her teeth and going through the weekly routine. Another colleague was so disgusted that she felt nauseated and vomited after having sex with her husband. In the end, she did not want to sleep with her husband anymore, which led to divorce. Another colleague was in a slightly better situation and believed that her husband's sex movements were civilized and not as rough and barbaric as those shown in movies and TV. But when asked if she felt an orgasm, she shook her head blankly, not knowing what an orgasm was.

I think all of this has something to do with our growth process. When this state affects or even destroys the good relationship between husband and wife, we must pay serious attention to it and make some adjustments to our own mentality. Adjustment. For example, after a period of psychological adjustment, I first developed a psychological need for my husband for sex. At the same time, I used mutual caress to stimulate my touch and feeling, and then I used imagination and illusion to mobilize my mentality and emotions to cater to my husband's passion. At this time, a miracle happened. I actually had sexual impulses for the first time. I longed to be completely integrated with my husband for the first time, and used all my passion to meet the peak of joy in life. When the orgasm came, I truly understood the beauty of sex between husband and wife, and I truly understood why the sex life between husband and wife is called "making love". It is indeed the joy of two loving lives completely integrated into one. The highest enjoyment when love reaches its extreme is the sublimation of human beauty. From this, I realized from my own experience that sex education is crucial to everyone's growth. The natural and intimate affection we show in front of our children will make them feel the warmth and happiness of the family. It is very necessary for children to have appropriate sexual enlightenment when their physiology changes.

This article comes from adult.6kmall.com and is published by netizens. This site only quotes it for reference. It does not mean that this site agrees with the views of the article. If you believe that the content and intellectual property rights of this article infringe upon your interests, please contact us.