The "Analysis and Forecast of China's Social Situation in 2008" jointly released by the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences and the Social Science Literature Press pointed out that the number of registered marriages in the country continues to decrease, and the age at first marriage has been significantly postponed. Recently, the average age of first marriage for men in Shanghai is 31.1 years old, and the average age for women at first marriage is 28.4 years old; in Beijing, the average age of first marriage for men is 28.2 years old, and for women, it is 26.1 years old. 44.4% of people agreed that most of the people who fear marriage are those born in the 1980s. At the same time, more than half of the people (51.7%) believe that "people who fear marriage" are a normal phenomenon, and 28.4% hold the opposite view. Since when did people think getting married was something to be feared?

People have 100 reasons to look forward to marriage, such as it can make them settle down; there is someone tied to the same rope with you, sharing the dangers brought by this competitive society; the highest level is because of love So it will last forever. But the truth of marriage may be that, as Chen Wenqian said, it is prepared for being together after the age of 60. Before this age, two people may have to exhaust their passion and tolerate each other. Therefore, more and more people have heard too many truths about marriage and are beginning to fear marriage. In order to be together after the age of 60, there is no need to go through the pain before. It is better to wait until the age of 60.

Modern people have more and more exchanges about relationships and marriage. Most of them have already understood part of the reality of marriage when they were unmarried. Marriage is like a besieged city. People in the city want to go out, and people outside the city want to go out. people want to come in. So people outside the city are also hesitant. Is my true love definitely her (him)? There is a theory of gleaning wheat ears. Facing the endless wheat fields, the wheat ears picked up first always think that they are not good enough, so they want to see the ones behind. The men and women in this world are as vast as a vast ocean. How do you determine the wheat ears in your hands? This is right.

Of course, worrying that the other person is not true love is just one of the many reasons for fear of marriage, and the risk of losing freedom is also one of the reasons. Once passion turns into responsibility, the secretion of hormones will be affected. The shy woman in his bed will instantly turn into a nagging yellow-faced woman, and the prince waiting downstairs may turn into a man who doesn't like to go home. tramp. There is also a group of people who, although they love each other, are worried that they cannot bring happiness to each other due to financial or personality reasons. An agency in the former Soviet Union conducted a survey of more than 15,000 couples. More than 70% of them married for love, nearly 20% because everyone married, and less than 10% married for profit. The survey results are unexpected: 100% of those who were married for love felt unhappy, and those who were married for profit were the most satisfied. Even the pioneering young man Han Han said not long ago that "love is short-lived and money is eternal." This is evidence that the romance of love is in opposition to the worldliness of marriage. Is it any wonder that people without love are afraid of marriage, but people with love are also afraid of marriage?

A scholar once preached that in old-style marriage, you marry first and then commit adultery; in new-style marriage, you commit adultery first and then marry; in modern cohabitation, you commit adultery first and then don’t marry. It's hard to say which one is more terrifying, freedom or responsibility...

A

Not all marriages have fear. If you love someone who loves you, you will definitely want it; if you love someone who doesn’t love me, you will be afraid! I’m afraid it will be very tiring; I’m afraid of what I don’t love if I love myself! I'm afraid I'll be sorry for him; I don't love him, he doesn't love me, I'm afraid! Because we can get married and leave at any time. Basically, these are the situations! It seems that fear may account for the majority, but it is still related to the degree of love.

B

Although I am not a playboy, I also admit that I lack immunity to the temptation of women, so for a long time, I I don't want to get married. The reason why you don't want to get married is not just because you are afraid of losing your freedom or falling in love with someone else, but the most important thing is out of respect for marriage. I live in the prosperous Sanlitun, and I go to nightclubs to spend time when I have nothing to do. I have witnessed a married friend of mine strike up a conversation with a strange woman. Although I have also had many romantic affairs, it happens to married people. But I felt a little sick. I always believe that marriage is not about hormones, but about responsibility. Marriage is not something that must be done, but it is a choice that has been carefully considered. With so much infidelity going on, what's the point of having a marriage?

C

Marriage is a multiple choice question, not a yes or no question! In the past, most men were afraid of marriage, but now more women are afraid of marriage! like me! I asked my uncle many times, why do you want to get married so much? He said he met the right person! But you don’t have to get married if you are suitable! I’ve been suffering from insomnia for months because I’m getting married! When a woman gets married, she will inevitably become talkative, then she will grow old, and then she will focus on her children's diapers! For people like me, after getting married and giving birth to a child, he will definitely cry and I will cry too. Our uncle will have to take care of two children. But my uncle is 11 years older than me and he is anxious! Although it is nice to have money without having to work, I am a workaholic by nature. I used to work overtime until early in the morning and still feel a sense of accomplishment. If you don’t have to work and have money to spend, people will fall! I don’t want someone to force you to fall! But if I don’t have to work and have money to spend, I guarantee that within three days, I will become a complete moth! A woman who becomes a moth will become dumber day by day, and work will keep a woman smart...

Is it better to stand alone at the window and look at the moon, or to wash the dishes together? Should I walk my dog ​​or my boyfriend? Is it better to drink alone or have a candlelight dinner for two? Can't tell.

Women’s representative: Chen Wenqian

“Marriage is to prepare for after the age of 60, to take care of each other after the age of 60. Marriage is an obligation for most women. Having children A woman's obligation is to do housework, and her only right is that the wife can inherit half of the property during the marriage. For example, after Wang Yongqing's death, the wife received half of the property, and the remaining half was divided between the second and third bedrooms. Marrying in your thirties and forties, doing a lot of things for a man, having children, and defending the family, what do you get in exchange for it? What is the benefit of marriage to a woman? I want to be a man who stays silent behind his back. A giving woman is still so stupid as to think that there is a man in this world who will give silently for me?”

Representative of men: Bo Yang

"Tie two changeable animals, a man and a woman, together in the form of marriage, and tie them together for ten, twenty, or even fifty years Sixty years old is simply the biggest adventure in the world. It is not uncommon for men and women to change toward the same goal at the same time. As the saying goes, "One quilt cannot cover two people." Husband and wife influence each other, not only. Thoughts affect ideology, and sometimes even appearance, which is great. However, if one changes and the other stays the same, or if one changes to the east and the other changes to the west, then it will be a big problem. As the level of distance increases, love will disappear more and more. If the relationship between two people is just living together, it will be easier to handle. If they are formally married, they may have to shed their skin."

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