In fact, many men and women will feel that each other has changed after getting married, and they have completely different personalities from before they got married. But in fact, this is due to the lack of communication between husband and wife, not just some communication in daily life. , and communication after sex. Let’s take a look at the issues that couples need to pay attention to.

You can tame your husband by taming yourself

Why does marriage make people feel lonely? Mostly because of failed expectations. We originally expected our partners to be able to meet our needs and heal our own wounds, but we never expected that any outward needs cannot be satisfied. Sometimes the other person simply doesn't have the ability to fill the pain in your heart, just like two people holding empty bowls, desperately asking the other person to give themselves some first. In the end, they fight over each other, the bowl is broken, and they get nothing.

For example, if your father's scolding makes you lose self-confidence, this person will be particularly attracted to people who have the same qualities as his father. But she hopes that this time the other person will change for her, let her regain her confidence, and the wounds can be healed. However, it usually backfires and she is hurt again.

Many people punish others for problems buried within themselves. In fact, everyone grows up with the wounds of their original family, and everyone has some shortcomings. Studies have found that people with fatal attractions often have similar traits to the parent who has hurt them.

The gift you want, you give it first

Whatever you want the other person to give you, you might as well give it to the other person first, and things will change over time. People have the bad nature of "the more you want me to do something, I won't do it". The more you want to change the other person, the harder it will be to achieve your goal.

For example, a woman always looks forward to her boyfriend giving her affirmation and praise, but the other person always gives her more criticism and analysis than comfort, making her often angry and frustrated. However, making some changes, first learning to praise the other person without hesitation, will unknowingly lead to positive interaction between the two.

Let go of your expectations for the other person

Let go of your expectations for each other! Many times what others say makes us feel hurt and angry. In fact, it is because the old wounds in our hearts have not healed. It is just that this person has stepped on the painful spot and detonated a landmine. You must learn to accept and let go, feel and bravely accept all kinds of negative emotions you have in the moment.

The power of change is like sowing a seed. Every time you put it down, it is like constantly watering the seed. You must first heal yourself and make yourself better. One day, I no longer get angry when I think of the other person, and the resentment that has troubled me for many years is driven out of my heart. Not only does I feel relaxed, but I can also make more space to love others

Why do many people complain that their married life is different from what they originally imagined, and that various conflicts and problems have arisen? In fact, these are normal phenomena, as long as we can grasp the ways in which couples get along. Skills and methods, more understanding and tolerance, then these will no longer be a problem.