"Janus" is a two-faced god in Roman mythology. He has a face on the front and back of his head, one looking at the past and the other looking at the future. If you pay attention to ancient Roman coins, you will find that there is often an image of this god on them: he holds the key to the door in one hand and the guard's staff in the other. The characters in this myth bring to mind "contradictions" and "mutual opposition." The author borrowed this name precisely to describe the contradictory and mutually antagonistic psychology that men have towards women in terms of sexual needs, and called it the "Janus mentality" of men.

Every man probably has this kind of time. When he sees a charming woman with slightly exposed breasts, even though he "looks sideways", he wants to take a few more glances in his heart. However, if their wives undergo breast augmentation and plastic surgery to "enlarge their breasts," perhaps most of those men will object. There was once a woman who always stared at women with "tall" breasts when she went out with her husband. She couldn't help but feel a little jealous, so she decided to have breast augmentation. When her husband found out, he was furious: "If you go for surgery, we will divorce you immediately." The wife was surprised and couldn't figure out why she would do this. In fact, this is the most common manifestation of Janus' mentality.

There is a proverb that says that a husband wants his wife to "be a lady when going out, a housewife at home, and a slut in bed." Although full of ridicule, the description of the Janus mentality of men is appropriate and dramatic. The woman who is pursued and yearned for by men should be "like a saint during the day, unstained by the world; at night, she transforms into a variety of charms."

So, we discovered this fact in novels, movies, TV or real life: In order to cater to the requirements of male socialization, some women do put on two faces: when they come in front of others, she She can't sit still, walk without shaking, doesn't speak loudly, and smiles without showing her teeth. She looks like a lady, which makes her husband proud to have such a wife. When they are alone together at night, she becomes unusually bold. Deliberately making a man's heart tremble and his mind wander.

Another aspect of the outward manifestations of the male Janus mentality is that it varies from subject to subject. Men have two expectations for women: any woman who has a specific connection with him, especially his legal wife, he hopes that she will be a good woman. The so-called "good" here means a serious attitude in life, and for women who have no contact with him, or women who do not need him to take any responsibility, he hopes that they will all be bad women. The so-called "bad" here refers to someone who likes to show off. He loves a good woman, but wants (or at least does not reject) a relationship with a bad woman. For the woman he loves (mainly his wife), he doesn't want her to be even remotely similar to a bad woman. He wants her to be more like the Virgin, because he wants to get emotional comfort from her. Men will feel elated when other women wink at them. This mentality of men is reflected in their lives, which is very interesting. When with their wives, even when they are intoxicated, they do not lose their sense of proportion. Although you may get carried away at times, you should generally remain polite and courteous. Such two completely different attitudes can happen to a man, which is the result of a split mentality.

As for the reason for the formation of Janus’ mentality, some people once said that it is a dual personality caused by modern civilization. In fact, this is a misunderstanding. We can also find the subtle effects of this mentality on men who married multiple wives and concubines in the past. Under normal circumstances, the husband generally maintains a serious relationship with his first wife, while he and his concubine have an informal and casual relationship. If a husband hears a story about weathering from outside, he probably won't tell it to his wife, but he can tell it to his concubine on his pillow. When a husband learns a certain trick, he will not apply it on his wife, but will boldly experiment on his concubine. This phenomenon does not mean that the husband is indifferent or alienated from his wife, but it shows that the image and status of his wife and concubine are different in his mind. In modern society, the system of wives and concubines no longer exists, but this mentality has not disappeared and is still tenaciously expressed in monogamous relationships.

It is not difficult for us to draw the conclusion that Janus’s mentality was formed in traditional ethics. "When you act, don't look back; when you speak, don't lift your lips; when you sit, don't move your knees; when you stand, don't shake your skirt; when you are happy, don't laugh; when you are angry, don't raise your voice." The ancient Chinese etiquette of three obediences and four virtues and the ethics of men and women not being intimate not only tied up women's The hands and feet make them endure hardships and endure it. It also forms a constraint on men's minds. It is said that the famous Confucian Mencius once had several unpleasant quarrels with his wife over issues of "etiquette". Once, Mencius walked into his home and saw his wife disheveled and naked in the private room. He left in anger. Another time I saw my wife squatting on the ground with her legs spread wide, and I was so angry that I almost wanted to divorce her. These things may seem unbelievable to modern people, but they do work deep in the consciousness of modern people, thus forming the "conservative" side of Janus' mentality: men hope that their women will maintain traditions like the Virgin. .

On the other hand, we cannot deny that "polygamy" and "liking the new and hating the old" are men's nature. Monogamy in reality makes this nature of men dormant and cannot be extinguished. In this case, men will look for every opportunity to satisfy their desires. This is the other side of Janus’ mentality.

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