Shanghai is always an eye-opening place. When I wrote the book "I Love Shanghai Brand Men" 7 years ago, I was worried whether I would speak too well of Shanghai men and step on my own feet. It became a joke, but after living up close, I found that the description was not enough. In the past few days, a Shanghai female netizen's continuous "enthusiastic" reactions suddenly made me realize: It turns out that Shanghai men really take care of their wives and daughters to the extreme! This woman has no regard for how other people's sons live, and takes it for granted that "men who cannot afford a good house in Shanghai should not marry our rich Shanghai girls!"

I still understand. Her original voice of protecting a daughter, but Tiekou’s determination that “men struggle, women enjoy” seems to be in line with the general concept that I mentioned in 2003 that Shanghai is a “quasi-matriarchal society”, and what is the reason for this? Dominating men with the attitude of a "strong woman", or seducing men with the attitude of a "little woman", their methods are different and each has its own appearance. However, in real life, how many men can really cope with the desires of such Shanghai women? ?

Today can be called the "Century of Women" in schools, workplaces, and societies. This is true all over the world. Anyone who is not ignorant of current affairs knows that some colleges and universities have already considered securing guaranteed quotas for boys. , lest the campus be awash with red flowers, it reminds me of my first book 9 years ago, "Are Men About to Become a Weed?" 》, it seems to be happening. Especially now, the work trend is very conducive to the development of female characteristics. For example, in the popular education, service, medical, marketing, public relations, media, psychological counseling and other industries, women account for an average of 70 to 80%. How can men strive so that women can enjoy them?

Looking at the man having an affair on TV, from another perspective, if there is no woman vying to be the mistress, can he have fun alone? If a man really turns bad when he has money, women will definitely take the lion's share of the credit. Everyone will want to grab what's available! So if women’s mentality is to sit back and enjoy the gains, how many men can afford it today? Especially young people who have just graduated a few years ago, can they keep up with housing prices no matter how hard they work? As a result, wealthy parents and wealthy sisters’ lovers have become a trend. The whole thing is almost centered on material desires. Wouldn’t it end up in chaos? Who is to blame? It’s just an unhealthy mentality!

So a healthy marriage relationship must be enjoyed by men and women working hand in hand. Generally speaking, the more a couple can endure hardships and enjoy blessings together, the longer the relationship can go. I just saw an article, It describes an old couple who worked hard together. Later, when the wife became ill, the husband always remembered those years of hardship together and took care of her and cherished her in every possible way. Even the daughter-in-law looked on and was moved. This kind of lasting feeling lasts forever. How can strong feelings be achieved by placing interests at the forefront?

A marriage that is independent, affectionate and righteous is definitely not achieved by parents’ management or intervention, but by mature men and women who know what are the precious elements between two people, such as caring. , mutual assistance and division of labor, humanistic learning, and willingness to share. Even if one day the relationship is over and the two families are about to break up, they will not cause the two families who have joined together to get together. Instead, they will know how to get together and break up easily, and they will have fewer enemies and more friends if they have a good relationship.

Is this a fantasy? Many Westerners have this kind of quality. Being a parent means equal division of labor, independence, and responsibility for everything. Therefore, after the age of 18, children will have the ability to face and handle their own affairs. Love and marriage are limited to the young couple, and the relationship is simple. , and as parents, they just travel around or live their own lives. Generation after generation, they do not have the complicated plots that do happen in many families on our TV.

Why not calm down and think about it: From the perspective of objective reality, can men succeed in the concept of marriage where men struggle and women enjoy it? How many women understand that "enjoyment" comes from being self-sufficient first, and then being grateful for the struggles of others, instead of overbearingly recognizing that "men are supposed to serve women"! The common secret among men, especially, is: we are very willing to struggle, but the women who deserve to enjoy the fruits of our struggle are definitely not the women who oppress us!

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