The English abbreviation of Frustration Quotient is AQ (Adversity Quotient), which is a concept proposed by American professional trainer Paul Stotts. Simply put, frustration quotient refers to a person’s ability to resolve and overcome setbacks. When people with low AQ encounter a small problem, they will quickly think of extremely terrible consequences and become anxious and uneasy. It is not difficult for us to see such people who do event A wrong, and are frustrated and fail to do event B that they are good at; thus facing event C that they like to do the most, they are frightened and listless... A frustrating event is like It spread like a plague to every aspect of his life, and finally negated everything because of a setback.

In the face of setbacks, do you immerse yourself in the setbacks, feel inferior and blame yourself, and drag the good things into a gloomy mood; or do you face the setbacks actively, think of solutions, and forget them as soon as possible? ? You know - surveys show that in marriage, when faced with the same problem, people with high AQ solve the problem or let go of the matter much faster than people with low AQ. They are more inclined to adopt a tolerant and open-minded attitude. To each other's problems, so it's easier to have a happy, happy marriage!

Low Frustration Business Story

Those unrelated punishments

Lin Gang is a man who likes to make friends, and he always has various invitations on weekends. Because his wife Wanna likes to be clean and most of his friends are single men, Lin Gang rarely takes Wanna to appointments.

Wanna was very dissatisfied with Lin Gang's outing, and the two made a three-part agreement: they were not allowed to get drunk outside, they were not allowed to go home after 12 o'clock, and they were not allowed to go to places like nightclubs...

Under normal circumstances, Lin Gang will abide by the agreement. A friend's birthday was held last Friday, and a banquet was held for him. After dinner, the group dragged Lin Gang to a private room to sing, and they had a great time. Lin Gang didn't get home until 12:15 at night. Seeing that Wanna was still awake, he took the initiative to reveal his whereabouts. Before Wanna finished listening, she jumped up angrily and scolded Lin Gang for violating the agreement. After Lin Zhengzheng's grumpy explanation to no avail, he covered his head and fell asleep.

The next day was the weekend, and they originally agreed to go back to Lin Gang's parents' house for dinner together, but Wanna said coldly, you can go back by yourself, I won't go. Lin Zangzhang couldn't defeat her at all costs, so he had to go back alone and dejectedly.

After that, Lin Gang still went out to socialize, but when Wanna asked him where he was, he replied angrily that it was not a nightclub anyway.

Lin Gang, who used to be good-tempered in the past, no longer took the initiative to report his whereabouts as before. Wanna was also suspicious of his words and often called Lin Gang's friends to confirm.

The quarrel between the young couple became more and more tense, and Lin Gang came home later and later. Wanna often stayed alone in the empty house and thought, why did she marry him in the first place?

Analysis

Women are animals that like "soft punishment". For them, isolation, indifference and even sarcasm are better punishments than corporal punishment. But they ignore that no one wants to be involved in another innocent thing because of this wrong thing.

Lin Gang violated Chapter 3 of the agreement between husband and wife. It was his fault, but Wanna should not punish him for other things - not returning to his parents' house. This increased Lin Gang's frustration and lowered his frustration quotient. Subconsciously, he would think that telling the truth and abiding by the agreement would make Wanna even more angry and have trouble with him. Therefore, he chose to hide it and stay out all night, which was a bad situation that Wanna did not expect. What she didn't expect was that all of this was actually caused by her own hands.

It is recommended that you do this

1. Communicate in a timely manner and listen to his explanation, but express dissatisfaction with his violation of the agreement.

2. Punish him to a certain extent and let him decide the form of punishment himself, for example, cleaning the room on weekends, going home on time as much as possible in the next three days, and having dinner with you. In short, this kind of punishment can promote things to develop in a good direction and make the marriage warmer and sweeter.

3. After he accepts his punishment, praise his integrity, reward him with a hug, and show that you consistently trust him in all the promises he has made to you.

The story of a low-frustration businessman

Your "threat" made him escape

When the marriage reached the fifth year, Li Wanxi discovered more and more that Ding Wei There was a huge contrast between her before and after marriage. Before the marriage, a day without her seemed like three autumns to him; after the marriage, he advocated post-bachelorism and liked to travel around with his friends, regardless of her staying alone at home in an empty room. Recently, Ding Wei's mother came to live with them and took charge of the family's affairs. Ding Wei was even more carefree, having fun on weekends and having fun during long holidays.

Li Wanxi was very angry and threatened Ding Wei: If he continued to ignore his family, he would not have children for him. 36-year-old Ding Wei is very eager to have a child, so he has to endure it silently and accept the "ban" of turning off his mobile phone during holidays to avoid being found by his friends who are keen on mountain climbing and rock climbing.

Not only that, Li Wanxi also put on a business-like face in front of her mother-in-law. She hoped that her mother-in-law could join in controlling Ding Wei. If Ding Wei was addicted to traveling again, she would give up her pregnancy plan. So the mother-in-law, who was afraid that she would not have a grandson, became the second Li Wanxi, and would tell her son every chance she got. Ding Wei felt extremely uncomfortable. He felt that his home was like a detention center with two pairs of terrifying eyes at the same time.

Of course, things developed far less smoothly than Li Wanxi expected. Unbeknownst to her, Ding Wei had already taken the initiative to transfer to a new company in the coastal area to carry out business, which would last for at least two years.

Analysis

Women with low frustration quotient often use the method of "blackmail" to restrict men's preferences and achieve their own goals. After getting along day and night, women often know where a man's throat is and think that strangling it is equivalent to controlling a man's breathing. But the situation is just the opposite. Threats and restrictions will cause men to have severe frustration and escape emotions, and even arouse their rebellious psychology. They will feel that they have lost their most basic freedom. In the end, they would rather give up everything and resist your threats.

Of course, in addition to behavioral threats, you should also pay attention to verbal threats. "Otherwise, let's get divorced!" is the trump card used by many women to coerce each other into doing things. Little do they know that men will seriously consider the meaning behind this ruthless sentence, "She is really disappointed in me", "She doesn't want this family" ", so before the divorce actually happened, he was already heartbroken.

He is busy with work and neglects to take care of his children, he is stingy and does not take the initiative to share expenses, he comes home late and drinks too much, he is keen on games... Every mistake has a corresponding punishment chip, and at least it does not serve as a warning. Otherwise, it will make him give up on himself even more and leave faster. Therefore, grasping the degree of punishment is a science. Li Wanxi in the article just made the mistake of making a mountain out of a molehill. She could completely regard traveling as one of Ding Wei's hobbies. Although this hobby robs her of the time she and Ding Wei spend together, it is not worth the effort and effort.

I suggest you do this

1. Discuss the matter on a case-by-case basis. You can have an in-depth talk with him about his not being with you during holidays. Explain your feelings and strive for his understanding.

2. On the premise that both parties reach a consensus, the two people negotiate a reasonable solution to this matter. For example, if he reduces the number of times he goes out to climb mountains, you should be more considerate and gentle to him to appreciate his dedication to you. When appropriate, come up with your plan to have a baby. Such a big family plan will awaken the sense of responsibility in a man who is addicted to fun, so that he can consciously consider and care for you.

3. Go out and have fun with him occasionally, participate in his hobbies, and feel his joy. You will find that your common language begins to increase, the space in your marriage becomes larger, you become more tolerant of each other, and your relationship becomes stronger and sweeter.

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The story of a low-frustration businessman

Hold on to old debts that have expired

One year of marriage is called a "paper wedding" - paper, how fragile it must be. That year, He Fang was "on the verge of having an affair" with an intern in the office. The smart Su Xi chose to spread the piece of paper and exchange He Fang's confession with silence and understanding.

The baby was born in the third year. Su Xi was busy taking care of the child and did not have much time to spend with He Fang. This made Su Xi panic, because she had not forgotten the injury two years ago at all. She copied He Fang's address book. Every time he worked overtime and went on a business trip, she needed a second person's testimony before she could sleep peacefully.

Not only that, whenever He Fang shows a little bit of neglect towards her or indifference towards the baby, Su Xi always brings up the old things again. The existence of jealousy and the sense of crisis after having a baby turned her into a repeater. She brainwashed He Fang whenever she had the chance. She believed that men need to learn from past mistakes and should not have let He Fang do so easily in the first place. Just "get away with it".

In He Fang's heart, Su Xi is no longer the tolerant and generous wife, but has become a devil with a record of grievances. Just when he began to feel that he would never be able to make it out of this marriage, another woman appeared in his emotional life. In the end, He Fang divorced Su Xi because he wanted to live a stain-free life.

Analysis

When men make mistakes, women tend to ask for an explanation repeatedly, and register them in the file for men in the name of lessons learned from the past, in case they need to teach men a lesson. Something for shooting. Su Xi had no confidence in her cheating husband, so she imagined that this old incident could become her baton to make her husband obey. However, although the lessons learned from the past are of warning significance, they are more of a long-term mental torture for those who make mistakes. People live in the present. He Fang chose to divorce because he actually did not want to live in the past forever.

It is recommended that you do this

1. Marital conflicts must be handled in a timely manner. The least recommended method is to put the conflict in the refrigerator and take it out after a period of time to discuss it over and over again.

2. When dealing with his faults, your attitude must be consistent and not uncertain. If you have forgiven him, don't try him again, especially if much time has passed.

3. There are techniques for reviewing a man’s criminal record. If your topic comes across that period of history unknowingly, try to bring it up in a calm, relaxed and humorous tone.

TIPS

How to cultivate his high AQ

1. Don’t be a timid paper tiger woman. The practice of keeping silent about big things and hitting hard on small things will make you a wife who can't control her temper and has no rules. Such a wife will only create a weak man.

2. Men are not afraid of evil wives, but they are most afraid of wives with high status. So don’t be the judge of family marriage, don’t put yourself in a lofty position, try to step down and create a reasonable

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