There are many so-called emotional masters around us who know everything about men and marriage. They all analyze it in one way or another, but these sisters often become leftover women or suffer from marriage changes. Perhaps, the real seeing is to see clearly that we are all imperfect and ordinary people who make mistakes. If the result of seeing clearly is unforgiveness and intolerance, then it is better to be confused, because our ultimate goal is not to see clearly. Marriage, but happiness.

Seeing marriage clearly makes me afraid to enter the siege

Sheila:

I have been fantasizing about marriage since I was a little girl. Although I didn’t know what marriage was at that time, wearing a wedding dress and getting married beautifully was an extremely wonderful and happy thing for me. But as I grew older and came into contact with more people, I got closer to marriage, but I found that marriage was not as gorgeous and simple as I imagined.

My cousin is like an elite in our family. I have regarded him as the standard for choosing a spouse in the future since I was a child.

But as a relative, I rarely saw him leading his aunt to any formal occasions. Instead, he was often accompanied by a young woman. Later I understood that she was his "girlfriend." It’s really unbelievable that married people can have “girlfriends”, but everyone around them tacitly understands it and takes it for granted. This is not the most shocking thing. Recently, a new little girl appeared next to him. She is younger, still childish, and very jealous. After some advice, I understood that this was a "little four".

My cousin is close to adulthood. He has a small career and a lot of tedious things to deal with, plus his parents, wife, children, and a bunch of known or unknown confidante, but he still enjoys it. , scattering his passionate seeds. Someone asked him, does your wife know you have someone outside? Wei Ran replied, maybe she didn’t know, maybe she knew, but she pretended she didn’t know, but I still deliberately kept it from her, and I think it was a sign of respect for her. Listen, this is respect for your first wife, this is marriage.

Marriage shocked him and made him delete all text messages and call records with his lovers before going home, but it did not stop him from going home late at night every day or even staying out all night. Ordinarily, my cousin and my aunt had a relationship. They met on the university campus, fell in love freely, and had a sweet relationship. They got married immediately after graduating from university. They have been together through thick and thin, but they unexpectedly fell into such a weird marriage circle. , maybe because the two of them have children, they just take it one step at a time. The cousin said that he would not divorce, but if his wife found out something and insisted on leaving, he would not stop her. However, he would not choose a second marriage because he felt that he was not suitable for marriage. These words gave me chills.

We also have two classmates who are a couple. They are first lovers, newly married for less than two years, and they seem to be envious of others. However, my wife Jing said in a chat with me that she regretted marrying like this. Relationships are very important. They have feelings, but material things are also very important. She has begun to be unable to stand the "barren" marriage life, and even started to notice that there are A successful member of the opposite sex who may develop new relationships.

The above two things had a great impact on me, an outsider, and made me fear marriage even before I got married. The first thing made me realize that fidelity in marriage is really difficult to guarantee, and the second thing made me feel that feelings in marriage are not that important anymore. However, isn’t it true that marriage is about being loyal to each other and only choosing the other person as a partner to complete the contract? Isn't marriage just formed because the relationship is too deep and you want to be together forever? These doubts made me go around in a small circle of pessimism, and I was somewhat unable to get out. A faithful and beautiful marriage does not seem to exist. I really don’t know when I will have the courage to enter that unfathomable marriage.

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A happy life of "lack of heart"

Meituo:

As the old saying goes, you should keep your eyes open before getting married. Eyes, you should turn a blind eye after getting married. According to my husband, I am "short-minded". Before getting married, I tried my best to pick a husband with my eyes wide open, but I didn’t know what kind of husband I was picking. Anyway, love went to my head and I was "fainted". But our marriage is not favored by relatives and friends because my husband is a "Phoenix Man".

As a family, economy is the lifeblood. Our family, my husband's family, is all headed by a woman, so I am also in charge of the money in my small family.

But I have been pampered since I was a child, and I am "moonlighting" after working. Now I have to pay for a house and save money. How can I live within my means and be careful with my budget? Within a few months, the family ran a financial deficit. My cunning husband took the opportunity to deprive me of my financial power and took charge of the accounts myself.

My husband’s housekeeping ability is obviously better than mine. Not only did we successfully pay for the house, but we also gradually gained some savings. Normally, when I want to buy something, I reach out and ask him for it. Even though he babbles a few words, I pretend not to hear him.

We would also send money and gifts to his hometown. My husband used to be face-conscious, and when relatives from his hometown asked him, he was too embarrassed to refuse. However, you don’t know how expensive firewood and rice are when you’re not a family member. Because your husband is responsible for managing the family’s money, he has a heavy burden on his shoulders and all the monthly expenses he has to pay, so he gradually changed his habit of trying to save face.

For my mother-in-law’s 60th birthday, we sent her 2,000 yuan, and secretly, my husband sent another 1,000 yuan. He didn't put the remittance receipt away. I found it when I was doing laundry, so I just threw it in the trash can and pretended I didn't see it. I think I should have a quarrel with him. Anyway, the money has been sent away, so I just turn a blind eye. Anyway, my husband has spent more money on the family, and he has to find a way to make up for it with careful calculation.

When my son was more than one year old, I suddenly discovered that since I became pregnant, I seemed to talk to my husband less and less, and my husband didn’t like staying at home very much. He often worked overtime until late, and never left his cell phone at home. The sweet and harmonious relationship between the couple before Gone forever. One night, he actually hid on the kitchen balcony and talked on the phone for more than half an hour. I asked him why he was so mysterious, and he hesitated. At that time, the movie "Cell Phone" was on the air, and a thought flashed through my mind: Could he be having an extramarital affair?

However, it’s not like that. My husband has a good character and doesn’t bother to keep records. He is still diligent and worried. He arranges the household expenses in an orderly manner. He often calls my parents and cares about my parents. He is also meticulous about his children. Be patient and smile all over your face whenever you play with your children. You are so dedicated and devoted to your job, so there shouldn’t be any big problems!

I suppressed my curiosity and did not imitate the heroine in the movie and ran to check his phone number. As time went by, I forgot about it. In the blink of an eye, my son has gone to kindergarten, and I have gone through the most stressful period at work, and I am much more relaxed. Unknowingly, we seem to have gone through that cold and depressing period, and we are starting to get tired of it again. One weekend, the child was picked up by my grandma. We relived our world together, lying on the sofa in a mess, eating snacks and watching a TV series. In the play, a woman discovered her husband's extramarital affair, and a big war ensued. At first, I laughed heartlessly while watching.

While watching the excitement, my husband suddenly sighed like a ghost beside her and said, Extramarital affairs are really boring! I answered: Have you tried it?

My husband laughed sheepishly and confessed to me about his mental infidelity. It turned out that during the time when I was pregnant and giving birth, my husband’s first love came to work in our city, and she asked my husband for help with many things. After going back and forth, the two of us seemed to have rekindled our love. At that time, my husband was also very conflicted, wavering between family and so-called "true love." My husband said, fortunately you are slow and generous and did not pursue me fiercely. You gave me some time to think about the problem clearly and get my thoughts back together. If you are as clear-sighted as this woman in the TV series and don't accept any grievances at all, hey, I can't believe the direction things will develop!

I took a breath of air: it turned out that the family had experienced such a major crisis without knowing it! I jumped up from the sofa, held my husband's ears and scolded me: If you dare to look around again, make sure I don't scratch your face! My husband comforted me with sweet words: Wife, you are so heartless, how can I bully you?

My married life may have followed the principle of "foolish people are blessed". Anyway, so far, my life has been quite smooth.

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