Most men who are afraid of marriage are often afraid of the possible lack of freedom after marriage: they must wash their hair and bathe every day and go to bed on time, it is strictly forbidden to throw smelly socks around, phone calls and text messages will be peeped, all wages will be turned over, and bars must not be casual anymore. Picking up and chatting online is a minefield that explodes at the first step, making friends must be strictly controlled, and checking in at any time when traveling on business... However, a woman's blind acceptance and release is not beneficial to the marriage. The most important thing in everything is to get the right benefits. If you give a man a certain degree of freedom appropriately, he will know how to reciprocate the love and give you more warmth, consideration and responsibility for the future.

Many women think about everything too simply, especially when society presents multiple choices and multiple temptations. They are eager to firmly control the man around them, not only within a foot, but also beyond. The men who make women feel most at ease and satisfied are basically the stand-by type. It's good to stand by a man, but you have to be careful not only about being obedient but also about "resistance" wherever there is "oppression". A man with a little bit of marriage or survival wisdom can resolve it on his own if he laughs a little at himself under strict control; but a man who is a little more serious and persistent is not guaranteed to be silent at first and then explode.

A man's nature always retains some characteristics of adolescence. The more controlling he is, the more rebellious he becomes. The more he wants to trap him, the more helpless he may be. Those women who hope to "manage" their husbands have basically suffered such losses and learned lessons from them. As a result, some people can't survive, some can continue to fight with wits, and others can continue to fight with wits and courage. , but he learned a lot from the experience and learned how to treat men freely.

No.1 Making Friends

Men no longer care so much about the relationship between sex and friendship. For a man who has always been pragmatic, the rarity of sex and friendship under the circumstances can immediately determine which is more important. If "sexuality" is the wife who sleeps in the same bed day and night, and "friend" may be a friend with open pants, a college classmate, a client, or a friend in a club, then "sexuality" is definitely out of reach of "friendship". On the back of the neck.

This is just a mocking statement. But it is still reasonable and well-documented. From a psychological perspective, the meaning of the freedom to make friends for men still lies in whether others recognize their maturity, values, social relationships, etc. Its importance cannot be underestimated. If this freedom is stubbornly banned by women, the most direct consequence will be men's disappointment in marriage. His woman actually doesn't agree with his friends and even restricts his interactions with them, which makes it difficult for him to be full of love and passion for her. From things to people, from people to feelings, from feelings to the heart. Such a cycle is naturally extremely vicious.

No.2 Solitude

According to a survey from the UK, more than 70% of men said that the most intolerable thing was their wives' nagging, and they missed the good times when they were single. The beauty of being single is nothing more than the freedom to do whatever they want, even if they lock themselves in a room all day just to fix a broken skateboard. But at least a marriage between two people makes it really difficult to be alone. Women like a pure two-person world more than 10 times more than men. This alone determines that married men are basically deprived of the freedom to be alone.

A woman who always refuses a man to be alone is not so much authoritarian as she is fragile. It's not that she doesn't know how to kill time at all, it's that she can't understand whether a man is thinking about important things when he's alone, or whether he just doesn't want to talk to her. This latter thought can easily make her collapse, so she always tries to find ways to destroy this freedom of men, and the result? It is conceivable that it can only be as bad as it is!

No.3 Economy

As for how to seize a man's heart, traditional women believe in "seizing a man's stomach", while modern women are more willing to seize a man's financial lifeline, because they have long believed that as soon as a man has money, he will Go bad.

In order to prevent subtle problems and nip them in the bud, many women have shown greater enthusiasm for this than having sex. They not only control their husband's "receipt", but also strictly control his "receipt", thinking that in this way, they can destroy the tendency of men to become bad. Base. I don’t know whether this kind of practice is done to protect the marriage, or to cover up one’s greed for money. You must know that not only does this fail to capture a man’s heart, but it will also tear the man apart: On the one hand, he is holding his back in front of his friends. The reputation of being henpecked will cause you to lose face in many cases. On the other hand, you will be more likely to steal private money behind your back.

No.4 Hobbies

A man who always stands by may one day get tired of you. Because of you, this man may lose himself and always put you first. Your needs are his needs and your hobbies are his hobbies. Unfortunately, one day, your best friend will become his beauty.

A man who has his own hobbies and interests certainly has a unique charm, whether he likes music, chess, calligraphy and painting, fishing and playing basketball, or studying Tang and Song poems and Ming and Qing furniture. If he can maintain his passion for his hobbies for a long time in the marriage and is not disturbed or even maliciously hindered, then he will be full of gratitude for the marriage. It’s hard to imagine that a man who is always told to learn how to make a lot of money without taking into consideration everything else would feel happy in life. A man who has lost the freedom of his hobbies can only think of two words about marriage: escape.

No.5 Ambition

Men's ambition is the most precious wealth, which will enable men to permanently maintain their passion and expectations for life, but at the same time, it is also the most private part of men. Except for the woman they love most, they will probably not share it publicly with others.

For married men, ambition is often driven by their responsibility to the family. Even if it is just a practical reason, at least you will be the beneficiary. Therefore, don’t laugh at or stifle men’s ambitions casually, but allow them to have moderate dreams, even if they are fantasies. Men without fantasies usually have no ambitions, and such a marriage will probably taste like nothing to you and him.

Eight formulas to protect lasting love

If there was a "formula for lasting love and marriage," would you follow it? of course. Who doesn’t want to have a lasting feeling of love? American scholar Katherine Johnson listed the "Equation of Lasting Marriage and Love" after research and research. Katherine said: I like to watch the absolute mutual trust and passion of middle-aged and elderly couples dancing at various weddings and dances - why Their marriage is so happy and their life is so ideal. What is their secret?

Catherine met a hundred such couples. The shortest they were married was 7 years, the longest was 55 years. Here is the common formula of lasting love among these couples.

Intimacy formula

Of the hundred couples I have met, the vast majority became intimate immediately after they met. They feel an unstoppable desire to be together and share a life together.

Harmony and thoughtfulness: This intimate relationship involves a harmonious and thoughtful friendship based on a passion for consistency as much as on mutual differences. One wife made an interesting point. She said: "A happy marriage comes from two people who are opposite in personality but consistent in basic situations.

"Her husband is an optimistic person by nature, but she is an introverted and pessimistic person. However, their common origin and religious beliefs made her fascinated by his spirit, and he was fascinated by her frailty. Their marriage is what people often call finding their significant other.

Share formula

One spouse is making breakfast while the other is walking the dog. After breakfast, the couple reads the morning paper together, as is almost always the case in all stable couples. These little things may not produce happiness in themselves, but they infuse trust and responsibility into the relationship.

When you're alone, or you're not discussing daily chores, check in on your daily routine

Arrange time, find some common time, and strive to get along with each other.

Ideals and Goals: A happy couple strives to improve their home. They work together to enable them to purchase a farm, or a store. No matter what their goals are, working together to achieve them can make a marriage shine.

Understanding formula

Couples who love each other rarely quarrel, and even when they get angry when conflicts arise, they are handled correctly. Of course, they all have different ways of solving problems. Some couples always resolve conflicts on the same day, some let it stay overnight and deal with it later after calming down, some shout, some are silent, and one couple has come up with a way to avoid quarrels. If one party says something irritating, The other party will shout: "The train has derailed!"

It's common for partners to be sarcastic about each other, but this can have detrimental effects. The more encouragement, the better the effect will be.

Agreements and Desires: Sometimes, when a fight breaks out despite their best efforts, one or the other will leave the room. The wife said, "If I walk out, I'll be back in five minutes. We don't even have to say 'I'm sorry' because we are so happy that we are back together." This is how the couple used this method. To avoid further quarrels, one party's withdrawal reminds the other party of their agreement and their good wishes for the marriage.

Nourishing formula

When spouses focus on each other's strengths, their marriages are nourished. This doesn't mean both partners have to be optimists. They can also be pessimistic, impatient, or melancholy.

Optimistic realism is one of the hallmarks of a good marriage. Mature love in marriage means that we have to accept the reality that we all have shortcomings; being a realist means that marriage has its joys and sorrows, and that it is better to face it than to nag when there are good times and difficult times.

Expectations and Expectations: Positive expectations can make a huge difference. Those who are best at finding the best in their spouses have the best relationships and expect the best from their spouses. When we like someone, we see the best version of ourselves in his or her eyes. The same is true for happy couples, who see their spouse as a real yet somewhat exaggerated image.

Change formula

Many happy couples know how to change themselves. They say that they have changed a lot after getting married. They all feel that they have become better, and their spouses also agree with this. Surprisingly, many happy couples have experienced marital crises, but their marriages have survived and become increasingly happy.

For the development of love, you must give up something. However, no one requires giving up personal development. The key is to estimate the room for change. Changes by one party may temporarily shake up the status quo of the relationship and, in fact, have an encouraging effect on the other party.

Beliefs and beliefs: Believing that your spouse will always change some of his or her shortcomings can help maintain the marriage relationship. In fact, people do change. We should believe that it is impossible for people not to change, and a good marriage can help people's love become better.

Understand the Formula Couples need to maintain a strong, vibrant, flawless and pure sexual relationship.

The mood of love is primarily based on sex - no matter how frequent and intense the conflicts between you are, as the relationship moves forward, be aware of the things that matter to you - his humor, his Optimism, her encouragement and thoughtfulness towards you.

Sincerity and openness: For most couples, being faithful to your spouse does not make a happy marriage, but it does make it possible. It is clear that fidelity is the most basic requirement between a couple, thus making your needs for your partner possible. Being consistent will make it easier for you to talk to him openly. Not only will it help him express his feelings, but it will also make him feel that you understand him (her).

Equality formula

When an average couple reaches their forties or fifties, they no longer argue about who is in charge of the household, even if they have argued before. Although there will be conflicts, they are not for power and status, but in their minds, no matter what they do, their efforts are regarded as important. When you start to think more about and care about your relationship, you will get more out of each other in return. You will also feel loved and give more love.

Dominance and Equality: The egalitarian relationship that happy couples have is most clearly demonstrated in the management of their finances. Every happy couple, without exception, says that the family income is theirs together, neither his nor hers, and they never argue about financial control.

Friends formula

Happy marriages regard their spouses as their closest friends. However, if their relationship is sometimes not trusting and gentle enough, then they should make formal arrangements for what they have to do. Positive arrangements have positive spouse effects.

Pursuit and Respect: Among these "friends" with lasting marital love, the wife is completely free to pursue her own ideals, knowing that her husband's love and respect for her are unconditional, regardless of whether he understands her decision or not. Vice versa, so does the husband's decision.