Whether it’s a new relationship or an old relationship, make sure you both truly cherish the relationship. Resolve differences and conflicts, gain good feelings and keep them for the rest of your life; sex will be more enjoyable. This relationship is especially important for women, most of whom will not have a happy sex life without a good relationship.

As one 42-year-old woman told her husband in my office: "If I don't feel good about you or our relationship, the door to sex will be closed." She said Not making a threat, just stating a fact.

·Be focused on nothing else

This is the old concept of "here and now" from the 1960s. Whatever you're doing, stay focused. If you are talking to a woman at a party, keep your eyes on her. Don't let your eyes wander around the room as if you're looking for better company. If you're having a conversation or getting emotional, don't turn on the TV or flip through a magazine. If you have feelings or sexual urges, don't mention anything else. Talking about sports or business doesn't work in the bedroom, although I'm always surprised to hear how many men bring up these topics.

“Men are extremely attentive when they see you for the first time. But after getting used to it, their attention time seems to be reduced to only 4 seconds, except when working and watching sports programs. With an old stare What people say on TV or in newspapers really makes people angry.”——Female, 32 years old

“I like men who devote themselves to each other when we are together, especially in bed, who only focus on us. In myself and in what we do. I don't like men who are distracted and don't know where their heart is, as if they're marching to a different drum and I don't know anything about that drum or the beat. I feel completely left alone. They can sing solo while masturbating; with me, I want a male-female duet." - Female, 44.

·Let her know how you feel about her

Is there something you find beautiful, compelling, attractive, exciting, or sexy about her? Many women cry when they tell their friends or therapists that it has been a long time since they received a compliment from their man. . The lesson is obvious. When feelings of affection, care, and love arise—whether before, during, or after sex—they need to be expressed.

"I think I know that Rolf appreciates me and loves me very much, and he is obviously very attached to me, but it doesn't hurt to let him say this occasionally." ——Female , 37 years old

“I know men are different. Sometimes when they get carried away, any hole in the world will do. I don’t mind if Clint acts like this sometimes, but if he does it most of the time I'm so grateful for the personal touch. The only one he wants to touch is me. I can't stand it if he always behaves mechanically." - Female, 48 years old

·Listen to her and take her words seriously, especially when she says no and when she asks for a change in what you are doing.

If she says she doesn't want to have sex tonight, or she doesn't want to do something, be sure to behave accordingly. If she says she doesn't want you to blow into her ears, don't, and be sure to remember her preference. Many women feel like men don't listen to them sexually (and in general), and it drives them crazy.

"I told him a hundred times that I don't like him blowing into my ears, but he always blows!"

If what she said is different People have big differences - for example, if blowing into your ear is important to you - then understand what she's saying, tell her what you think, and see how you can resolve it. But don't pretend you didn't hear clearly. Learn to listen; it is best to learn to enjoy the joy of listening.

·Whatever you do, absolutely follow her sexual aversions.

If she says she doesn’t want to have sex right now, you can try to convince her, but at the same time you must have the ability to listen to her disgust and concessions. Men who can't take "no" seriously and graciously will irritate women.

“When my husband impulsively wants to do something, he makes endless demands. First he tries to persuade me with words. If I am indifferent, he adds: Why don’t I love him? I don’t. Pay attention to his needs, etc. If it doesn't work, he will force it - I have an obligation to have sex with him - or bring up the old saying that 'if he can't relax, it will affect his work'. If it doesn't work, he won't talk to me for a week. I really hate this." - Female, 35 years old

"I like sexual invitations, it makes me feel that someone is needed. My wonderful feeling. But what needs to be understood is that I have the freedom to accept, change or refuse. But with the first husband, it was never like that, only the request, and if I didn't want to be with him, then. Poor guy is going to be angry." - Female, 41 years old

"I like a partner who is sensitive to my needs and not secretive about his own needs. I like to be listened to. requests, and don’t like being forced to do things I don’t want to do. In short, I prefer an equal relationship rather than a one-sided relationship." - Female, 39 years old 

·Learn to enjoy non-sexuality. caressing and sensual.

Be willing to hug and snuggle without turning it into sexual intercourse. As I write this, the words of a 41-year-old single woman are still ringing in my ears: "Hey, if a man can't cuddle, what's the point of having sex with him?"

Try taking a shower together, Rubbing feet, rubbing back, stroking and brushing hair, etc. Your partner will appreciate these practices, and you may find that you enjoy them too.

“I like men who have feelings, that is, men who like kissing (not just passionate kisses), hugging and caressing. I like touching and being touched, and I want to be with a man who just pats you hard on the back or I can't stand being with a man who only does that. Being with such a man only makes me feel like being played with, and I don't need that." - Female, 25 years old

"Admiration is what I long for. Touching is always important." ——Female

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