A few steps to make your sex as good as a fish in water

A remarried woman asked this question: "Are some people particularly good at making love? My ex-husband is a master at making love. This is one of the reasons why we were in an unfortunate marriage. The only bright spot is that my new husband is my first marriage. He and I are in perfect harmony spiritually, and we get along very well with each other in life. But when it comes to our sex life, there is nothing to miss. I will never have a happy sex again. Are you living? ”

Many couples divorce because their sexual lives are not harmonious, and they place their hopes on a new marriage. What this woman raised is also a very common phenomenon. She was worried that after changing from a failed marriage to a stable marriage, although one conflict was solved, a new one would be created, and she would not be able to enjoy what she originally enjoyed. Sexual satisfaction. She now just misses the past instead of trying to recreate a high-quality sexual relationship. In fact, she can completely transform her husband into the man she dreams of. This is not difficult.

In fact, doing this does not require any high-tech means, but it does require some high-level thinking, feeling and communication. You need to be prepared from the following five aspects and be able to be good with your husband cooperate.

1. Understand your own love schema

The sexual process begins with mutual attraction and gradually stimulates sexual desire. The so-called love schema is the necessary condition for a person to go through the sexual process smoothly, and everyone's love schema is special. For example, some people will feel passionate when they see a cold statue, and some people will feel passionate when they see a cold statue. It may take a long time and many efforts to arouse it. There is no mystery to the fact that these preferences begin early in life and develop gradually as they grow up. In fact, igniting sexual desire does not necessarily require physical superiority. In fact, there are too many factors that can make a person react sexually, such as sound, smell, subtle habits, various behavioral characteristics, and even just a look. It can make people horny, but these are often outside of his consciousness.

Since we have had touching sexual experiences in the past, why worry about having a happy sex life again? If a person knows how to arouse himself, then he can draw on his past experience and let the new partner understand this effective pre-caressing technique, so that the other person's actions can follow their own rhythm and operate according to their own special needs. The closer the other person's behavioral characteristics are to your own love schema, the smoother your transition from attraction to sexual arousal will be. Of course, this stimulation technique is not static, it will also change with changes in time, objects, environment, etc. One way that might help is to make a comparative table of the sexual arousal behaviors of the two men she met to see if there is any overlap between what they did, or which man In which aspect you do better, you can find out the characteristics and needs in your own love schema. At this time, you can focus on your current partner's strengths and find ways to overcome or compensate for their weaknesses.

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A few steps to make your sex as smooth as a fish in water

2. Understand your own sexual arousal conditions

Through the above efforts, you can summarize And analyze the factors that can first attract your attention and make you sexually aroused by the other party, then pay attention to maintain or do it more consciously. For example, what is your most exciting sexual encounter? Why did it leave such a deep impression on me?

Where is your emotional zone? What is the effective stimulation for yourself? What kind of touch and stimulation of which parts can arouse you more? What kind of words or silence can make your sexual energy explode? Also, have you done all the housework before having sex? Have you had any quarrels this day? Do you have condoms or lubricants handy?

Recalling and writing down all the details related to your sexual life in detail will help clarify what your sexual arousal conditions are so that you can have frank communication with your partner in the next step.

3. Thoroughly understand your partner

Recalling the life with your ex-husband will definitely help to promote the current sexual relationship. There are many reasons why the marriage with your ex-husband broke up, so you can use this as a reference now.

Then carefully recall and analyze how you feel about your current partner: Do you admire him? Care about him? Doesn't matter? Do you like the way he treats you? What are his strengths? How is your sense of responsibility? loyalty? humor? Education level? ambition? How much do values ​​and interests have in common? Do you want children? Do you have any bad habits such as alcoholism and gambling? How are your spending habits? How do you tolerate clutter in the house all day long? Can you express your feelings or personal desires openly?

The completion of this step depends on how well you understand your partner. This does not need to be consistent with how well the other person understands you, and it has nothing to do with how well the two parties get along. Being able to gradually gain a real and in-depth understanding of your partner means that you are really interested in them, willing to listen to and accept the other person, and be able to listen to the things or opinions he has to say regardless of whether you agree with them or not. This is no easy task. After two partners have been together for a long time, they will naturally become very familiar and adaptable to each other. They feel very comfortable staying together and can easily predict each other's reactions. Therefore, it is also easy for them to speculate and understand the consequences of the other person's words or actions. Intention and meaning. And for the next, most difficult of the five steps of training or treatment, being willing to listen politely and share each other's joys and sorrows is the basic, indispensable condition and foundation.

Differences and issues surrounding these areas can create some suspicion and uncomfortable feelings, which can quickly turn into distrust, resentment and hatred if not dealt with promptly. As the saying goes, "There are only three things to do." Frequent conflicts will definitely have a great impact and negative impact on lust.

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A few steps to make your sex like a fish in water

4. Frank communication

If one really wants to create an ideal lover for oneself, the secret lies entirely in honest communication. It requires taking all your thoughts, feelings, and courage and letting him know how he really feels—what is it about him that you admire or find interesting? What are his shortcomings? What changes should he make to adapt and meet his needs?

Communication is definitely a two-way street. It means that both parties can speak freely, especially about sexual orientation. It also means that through joint efforts, concerted action can bring about effective and positive changes. Be mentally prepared for potentially harmful opinions or demands from the other party. Necessary explanations, discussions and understandings are natural, with the goal of ultimately reaching a basic agreement. The reason why this stage is the most difficult is because communication is dangerous, and both parties may be greatly impacted when receiving feedback from the other party. "It turns out that this is how she (he) treats me. It makes me so sad!" Therefore, when communicating, remember to be absolutely gentle and amiable, and avoid making rude remarks or intentionally hurting the other person.

However, when disappointment and dissatisfaction drag on for a long time but you avoid conflicts and do not communicate, the price may be higher, often leading to alienation and deeper resentment, and you no longer even have the intention to quarrel. The bed was cold because of it. This means that the couple should enter couples therapy.

5. Expand and mobilize all your skills

It will take some time and energy to get to this point, but once both parties get to this point, it means that they Having passed the communication gap, you have learned how to reduce the other person’s disappointment and share your good hopes. Although the love schema of both parties cannot be completely in sync, at this time both parties have been able to accept each other to a considerable extent, and there are some things that will never be in sync. For example, if a person doesn’t like naturally curly hair, then you can’t force him to straighten his hair! It is completely possible to change your own ideas on similar small things to adapt to the mutual needs between husband and wife. Expanding and mobilizing all your skills is all-encompassing, but has only one purpose: to praise the other person, understand the other person, and adapt to the other person. Only those who truly understand each other's soul will find lasting love. On the contrary, if you only understand their appearance but cannot see through their heart, both parties will inevitably become strangers. How can a marriage be harmonious and happy?

I believe that through the efforts of the five steps introduced above, a happy and harmonious sex life will definitely return to this lady’s family.