In the workplace, marriage has become a "knot" that some people are trying to hide.

“I’ll tell you something incredible. I just found out yesterday that a very good colleague has been married for two years. I’m so good to her. I didn’t expect that such a big thing as marriage would happen. She has been keeping secret from me, it’s so boring!” a friend complained angrily while chatting with the reporter.

Married women quietly hide their marriage as a secret. In public, they deliberately conceal their marital status and show themselves as "single". They hide their wedding rings, never make intimate phone calls in the office, always drive home alone, are keen on attending various parties, and have many close boyfriends around them. If you don't know what's interesting, ask casually: "Are you single?" The other party's answer is usually very clever - "What do you think?" This is the "hidden marriage clan" in the workplace.

Why has human civilization developed to this day, and marriage has become a "knot" that some people strive to hide? In this regard, Ms. Zhang, an employee of a large private company, has her own unique insights: There are potential laws of competition in the current workplace. Once people are labeled as married, their competitiveness is often greatly reduced, so some married people choose "hidden marriages" ". "Hidden marriage" is both a way of life and a survival strategy. Hiding the status of being married gives you free space, fair opportunities, the favor of your boss, and the admiring gaze of the opposite sex.

Forced to get married in secret for social entertainment

Ms. Chen, who once worked in an advertising company, is a northern girl who is beautiful, upright and passionate. She and her boyfriend received their marriage certificate in June of the year before last. . The nature of Ms. Chen's work determines that she has a lot of social activities. In addition, most of her colleagues are single aristocrats, so they often get together. Before her marriage, she often stayed happy with her friends until late at night without any scruples. But after getting married, every time she went out to socialize, her husband would call to persuade her to drink less or urge her to go home early. Whenever this happens, my colleagues feel particularly disappointed. Over time, she was excluded from many entertainment or gatherings in the company.

It’s all the fault of marriage! After resigning from the advertising company, Ms. Chen discussed with her husband that the next time she applied for a job, she would fill in the "Married" column as "Single" and made a "three-part agreement" with her husband: not to come to the workplace to see her; Call her often; don't rush her home when she's socializing.

Since joining the current marketing company, Ms. Chen has followed the plan and started a "hidden marriage family". She never talks about her personal life with her colleagues, never wears a wedding ring at work, and always hangs out with unmarried girls at work. Ms. Chen's rich experience and smart mind make her at work like a duck in water, and her performance is very outstanding.

In the first half of last year, when the company's office director retired, he recommended Ms. Chen to the general manager to take over. After some evaluation, the general manager believed that Ms. Chen was "young, energetic, and has no family burden, so she is a suitable candidate for the office director." Having tasted the sweetness of "hidden marriage", Ms. Chen continued to work hard and planned to continue to hide her marriage. When filling out the employee registration form this year, she once again filled in "unmarried" in the "Married" column.

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“Hidden marriage” reflects workplace discrimination

Among the people with hidden marriages in the workplace, the majority are women, and a large number of them are married to Ms. Chen was also helpless. A reporter's investigation found that even as "gender-neutral" occupations are gradually being accepted by people, there is still a kind of marriage discrimination in the workplace. A "hidden marriage survey" jointly conducted by "China News Weekly" and Sina showed that nearly 37% of people are willing to be "hidden marriages" because they are worried that making their marriage public will cause them to lose the trust of their bosses or customers.

In fact, some companies do have such misunderstandings. For example, they believe that married people tend to close themselves off and stop pursuing progress, and they no longer show initiative at work. Especially for newly married female employees, companies may be more cautious because she is likely to take maternity leave next. Therefore, companies often assign jobs that require enthusiasm and energy to singles with relatively light burdens.

Due to these views, many independent, self-reliant, and self-reliant white-collar workers are forced to appear as "single". They feel that this status makes them more competitive in the workplace and easier to work with. When getting along with colleagues, you are better able to protect yourself.

When women choose "hidden marriage", they are actually in a state of "self-protection". However, women should not "hidden marriage" regardless of the occasion. For example, when applying for a job, women should act with "integrity", believe in their own strength, fill in their marital status truthfully, and make choices according to their needs when contacting clients.

It is undeniable that hidden marriage brings some conveniences and opportunities to people in the workplace. In fact, being married also has its benefits. Generally speaking, married people mostly have a stronger sense of responsibility. Because marriage is by no means as simple as a marriage certificate, it contains responsibilities and commitments. With this sense of responsibility, they will be more practical in doing things. A person who can run a family well will not be too inferior at work.

Company management and employees do not need to be too sensitive about the marital status of working people. Being unmarried has its advantages, and being married has the charm of being married. What is worth your attention is how to make yourself more competitive. , and this has no special connection with marriage.

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Hidden age

Reason for concealment: Age is a woman’s secret and a weapon.

Concealing strategies: When someone asks about your age, just answer with a smile: "I must be a little older than you!" and you can get away with it.

Typical recluse: Liu Wei Age: 30 Occupation: Marketing. I went to meet a client with the new girl in the department, and my colleague won the business because of her youth. For this reason, the leader had doubts about her ability to work. She "suffered a hardship and gained wisdom" and concealed her age from then on, and her performance was recognized by her boss.

Hidden marriage

The reason for concealing it: Not only does it give yourself free space, but it also lets you live up to your career.

Concealing strategies: When others ask if you are married, you can confidently tell them that you are not dizzy and you are still single!

Typical hermit: Shu Yue Age: 26 Occupation: Company employee. There is a colleague in the unit who has been ignored by other colleagues because he got married. Therefore, hiding one's private life not only gives oneself free space, but also fails one's career. As long as the husband and I don't violate our principles, we generally don't interfere with each other. I believe that as long as both parties are absolutely honest, there will be no problems.

Concealed fertility

Concealed reason: "Unmarried", she is still a child.

Concealment strategy: When others ask if you have children, you can answer confidently and boldly: "You are still a child, how can you have children?!" You can deceive many people.

Typical hermit: Sarah Age: 25 years old Occupation: Planning manager. She got married right after graduating from college. Her son is almost two years old and many colleagues still don’t know her married status. After giving birth to a child, both her mother and mother-in-law helped take care of the child on the grounds that she was "still a child." She saw no need to reveal her married status prematurely.

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