I was newly married, and when I had sex with my wife, I always liked to turn on the light, but she preferred to stay in the dark. My wife often seems extremely dissatisfied with this matter, and sometimes even calls me obscene. What exactly is going on? Dr. Ke, can you tell me?

Expert answer:

The situation you mentioned is actually not a big problem. The reason is related to the gender differences in sexual desire and impulse between men and women. One of the points is that men are prone to sexual desires and impulses caused by visual stimulation, while women are more sensitive to tactile stimulation. Hugging and touching are far more desirable for women than visual stimulation. Coupled with the common shyness of women, this leads to different requirements for your sexual environment. Men mostly prefer to be in a lighted or daytime environment for greater visual stimulation, while some women prefer to act in more secluded or dark environments. It can be seen that there is nothing wrong with turning on the lights or not turning on the lights during sex. The problem is that you have just gotten married. Both parties should have a process of adapting to each other. Please give your wife more time to let her adapt slowly. That’s it.

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