I met a man at a party. Later, after a friend introduced us, we became friends. I am 26 years old and not married, so I will give myself a chance every time a friend introduces me. After we got along for a few days, I felt that I fell in love with him. The feeling was very strong. He has a very masculine charm. To me, in the eyes of others, he is a typical northeastern man, macho and bad-tempered, but I actually find him very attractive. I graduated from college and work as an accountant, and my family situation is pretty good. He has a junior high school education, has no legitimate occupation, and his family situation is average. I had never been around this type of man, so I fell into it. We had a fight yesterday because he felt that I was not committed to being good with him. He asked me to think about it carefully. After all, we are all busy people and are planning to get married. In fact, I do have concerns. I don't know if such a man is suitable for me? I don’t know how women should choose in marriage? Will things like ours last?

Answers from emotional experts:

In physics, there is a term called "same-sex repels, opposite-sex attracts." When viewed in real life, that is to say, the more different their life backgrounds and personality traits are, the more likely they are to attract each other. The reason is that people are curious animals. The more distant the world is, the more attractive it is. Therefore, many well-educated women often fall headlong into the love of poor men from the grassroots, and they are unable to escape. This is the best manifestation of this differentiated attraction.

However, even though you are so enthusiastically attracted to him, you still have doubts in your heart: Is this kind of man suitable for me? Will we last?

It should be said like this: The more men and women with similar conditions, similar personalities and similar living habits, the easier it is to feel dull and boring when getting along. However, the safety factor of such a marriage is higher, because everyone is the same type of person. It is easier to reach an agreement on the handling of many issues, and the contrast in attitude towards marriage will not be too big; the more contrasting conditions, experiences, habits and other aspects between men and women, although it is easier for men and women to collide with small flames of passion, but such The safety factor of marriage is relatively low, and the probability of problems in marriage is much greater, because different concepts will lead to collisions in all aspects of life. To run such a marriage, you need to master a lot of skills to deal with various difficulties at any time, otherwise It is difficult to achieve good results.

So the ancient saying "birds of a feather flock together" makes sense, because this is a relatively simple way to achieve a comfortable life. Just like you and your current boyfriend, the passionate feeling is one thing, but how to deal with the subsequent life problems after the feeling is another thing. Think about it, can you feel safe marrying a man who is nearly thirty years old, has a bad temper and has no legitimate career? Even if you can get married with confidence, can your parents let you get married with confidence?

As you said, you have never been in contact with this type of man. Curiosity leads to love, and distance leads to beauty, so you think this man is really handsome and cool. But is this really the case? Maybe not.

As he said, he feels that you are not completely committed to being good to him, which shows that subconsciously, you are not completely satisfied with him. Of course, it may also be because he also feels that there are some differences between you and him. Due to the difference in conditions, he will feel unconfident and unsettled when facing you. Indeed, as he said, everyone is dating for the purpose of getting married. You should start thinking about all the issues carefully now. The longer you date, the stronger the inertia of love will be. At that time, even if you know it is not suitable, you still can’t. Very few people can say "break up" easily. Don't delay yourself, and don't delay others. If you don't have the courage and determination to challenge secular concepts, don't let each other get into too deep.

Choosing a husband is actually quite similar to choosing clothes. You need to be comfortable and wear something you can wear when going out. At any time, a woman should not have the thought of "getting married". If she feels that her husband is inferior to her, it will be a prelude to unhappiness. Looking at a man with admiration will make you more committed to marriage.

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