I am over thirty and have no feelings for girls. There is a "familiar" stranger hidden in my heart. When I was fifteen years old, I took the train home while studying abroad. Just as I was immersed in reading, a very magnetic voice sounded in my ear: "Hello, little brother." As soon as I looked up, I met those eyes - bright black, deep, with the right facial features. My heartbeat suddenly accelerated, and a warm current filled my body. He sat down opposite me. I was no longer interested in reading and peeked at him from time to time. Every time I peeked at him, my heart couldn't stop beating violently. When the bus arrived, he stood up, smiled at me, and got off. After that, I thought of him all the time.

I thought that my longing for him would pass away with time, but more than ten years have passed, and his voice and smile seem to be engraved in my heart. One day not long ago, I went to the factory for an interview, and a familiar figure came into view. I recognized him at a glance, and I was still very excited. Why do I like him of the same sex? what to do?

Expert answer:

Obviously, you experienced an unforgettable emotional experience when you were 15 years old. If the person is the opposite sex, I believe that a romantic love will develop. And your sexual orientation is same-sex, so falling in love with "him" at first sight makes you feel troubled and anxious.

The causes of homosexuality are complex. During the consultation process, we discovered that some homosexuals are caused by improper upbringing by their parents; other homosexuals guide the development of their sexual orientation by choosing same-sex role models. With the deepening of homosexual research, there is now more and more biological evidence. In addition to the important role genetic factors play in determining individual differences in sexual orientation, sexual dimorphism in the hypothalamus has also been implicated in male sexual orientation. In addition, studies have shown that the anterior association neural network of homosexuals is larger than that of heterosexuals. It is generally believed that the hypothalamus is involved in sexual behavior. Once the hypothalamus has established sexual orientation, it is very difficult to change it.

A number of studies (such as those provided by the Kinsey Institute) show that gay men become aware of their sexual orientation in childhood or adolescence, generally before they have overt homosexual experiences. In three years, homosexual feelings have already arisen, including your love at first sight. When they realize they are gay, the first reaction of most people is panic, then comparison, thinking, and finally acceptance. Although homosexuality is no longer considered a disease and social tolerance has increased a lot, it may still take some time for the public to truly accept it from their hearts. It is recommended that you first accept yourself and get to know yourself. There is no need to force yourself to change to heterosexuality. If necessary, seek help from a psychological counselor.

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