I escaped from marriage and proved myself to my family with my strength

I was born in a rural area in western Liaoning. I have an older brother and a younger brother. My family's economic conditions are only average in the village, and my brother's health is not good, so life becomes more and more difficult.

It’s no big deal if life is difficult, and it’s no big deal if the family shares the joys and sorrows. But in this difficult life, I had to passively accept my parents' very serious concept of favoring sons over daughters.

When I was 18 years old, I escaped from my marriage and came to Shenyang. From waiter to boss, now I have a stable income, a commercial house to live in, and a boyfriend who loves me... In these years of working hard for my own destiny, I have found the value of my existence.

My parents favored boys over girls, so I didn’t get justice at home.

Since I was a child, my brothers and sisters would definitely have the things that I have, but most of the things that my brothers and brothers have, I don’t have.

My elder brother is five years older than me, and my younger brother is only one year younger than me. My elder brother and younger brother never did any work at home, because my father said those jobs were done by women. Even when I was building the house at home, I was the one who climbed up and down to do it. When I was tired, I sat on the roof and saw my brother playing poker with his friends, while my brother was eating a bag of peanuts in the yard. I looked at myself. I was covered in dirt and my fingernails were full of mud. How could I look like a girl? I feel uncomfortable in my heart, I want fairness, and I want to get the same love from my parents as my brothers and sisters, but I know that these are impossible!

When my father drank, he said that the girl's movies were of no use at all, and that he would have to rely on his two sons to provide for him in the future. After hearing such words too many times, my heart gradually cooled down and I no longer felt sad about such harsh words. I couldn't help but sneer in my heart. Under their pampering, the two precious sons were industrious, could not distinguish between grains, and could not do anything, even their own farm work.

It doesn’t matter if I work more at home, or if I am rejected by my parents, what I fear most is that one day my parents will no longer let me study. I like going to school because as soon as I arrive at school, I seem to be able to throw away all my worries. Only there can I feel fairness and respect.

The day I feared has finally come. When I was preparing for the exam in the third year of junior high school, my father told me that I would no longer be allowed to study after graduation. He also said that my mother was getting older and the family needed to have a main labor force. My elder brother and younger brother would be trained to go to college in the future, and As for me, they planned to let me work at home for a few years before getting married.

For the first time, my father and I talked back. I could no longer control my emotions and vented all the resentment I had accumulated over the years. My father was not polite to me at all and beat me severely. My first struggle ended in failure.

After the third grade of junior high school, my father stopped letting me study, and I was forced to give up my studies and return home. I deeply felt the pain of being involuntarily. I told myself that when I was older, I would run away from my parents at all costs and no longer let them control my life.

In the spring when I was 18 years old, my neighbor Aunt Wang came to my house and happily pulled my mother to the outhouse as soon as she entered the door. I couldn't hear clearly what the two people said in the outer room, but I heard Aunt Wang say something like "thirty-five dollars" and "twenty thousand yuan", and then the two people lowered their voices again, and finally I heard my mother say: "I'll add it up again."

Running away from the wedding, I want to control my own destiny

A few days later, Aunt Wang came to my house again, still looking like she did above I talked to my mother like that for a while, and then left with a satisfied look on my face.

That night, my father informed me in a commanding tone that Aunt Wang had introduced me to a man. He and my mother were very satisfied, they had agreed to the marriage, and the gift of 20,000 yuan had been received. engagement.

That man is Aunt Wang’s nephew. He is 35 years old this year and was divorced two years ago. This news was like a bolt from the blue that made me unable to recover. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't shed a single tear. My heart felt like it was being squeezed tightly, and it hurt so much that I couldn't express it. They are always my parents. No matter how excessive they are, they should not arrange such a marriage for me!

A few days later, Aunt Wang brought her nephew. That day, I completely ignored the warning glances my mother cast at me. No matter what Aunt Wang and the man asked me, I kept a stern face and said nothing. I still held a glimmer of hope in my heart, hoping that the man would not see it. Fuck me. But my little trick didn't work, and the wedding continued as usual. The eighth day of the eighth lunar month was my wedding day. On that day, I did something very crazy. While everyone was busy working in the front yard, I stole the 20,000 yuan gift from my mother's cabinet and ran out of the village where I had lived for nearly twenty years without looking back.

I couldn't care less about anything. I was thinking that I must leave this home. I want to control my own destiny!

I took a bus and then a train to Shenyang. The reason why I came here was because a girl from our village once went to Shenyang to work. I feel that this place will definitely allow me to completely separate from my parents and from a home that has no warmth or love at all. At first, it was my resentment towards my parents that made me insist on settling in Shenyang. But as time passed and I began to learn to integrate into the life of city people, my thoughts changed. I feel that I must stay here and live a good life. Then one day, I will go back and let them understand that girls are not worthless.

I have no education, no skills, and I am not pretty enough. My only advantage is that I am not afraid of hardship. I worked as a waiter in a hotel for half a year and felt that my development in the hotel was limited. After several conversations with the manager who had studied in college, she suggested that I should learn some skills while I was young so that I could gain a foothold here.

From hairdressing assistant to hair salon owner, I found my own value

I hardly spent the 20,000 yuan I brought from home, except that I couldn’t spend it in the first two months. When I got a thousand yuan, I found a job and was immediately compensated. When I took the money, one was to get revenge on my parents, and the other was to allow me to live in a different place without worries. But I reminded myself that sooner or later, I would return the money to them.

I left the hotel. With the advice and help of the manager sister, I found a job as a "hairdressing assistant" in a relatively well-known hair salon. The working hours of the hair salon are from 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. every day. My job is to wash the customers’ hair, then help the hairdressers or perms, and sweep the floor when there are few people.

Over time, I have gained a better understanding of the entire hairdressing process. The masters saw that I was serious about my work, so they started to let me try to do the hair of the customers. I didn't get a commission for doing this at the time, but I didn't care, because I knew that I could only learn by practicing.

After half a year, I mastered all the skills of hairdressing and perming. Many customers asked me to do their hair, and my boss finally gave me a salary increase. While I was doing my job seriously, I continued to ask the hairdressers for advice. From the time I first picked my children's heads, I began to learn to cut hair. Hard work pays off. In the third year of working in this salon, I finally became an official hairdresser.

Seven years have passed in the blink of an eye. I no longer worked for others, but opened my own hair salon and became the boss. Some of my customers are regular customers who have served me before, and some are new customers who come here because of their reputation. I serve them all seriously. It’s not easy to start your own business, and I went through the initial cold period. My friends advised me to give up, but I didn’t. Fortunately, I didn’t give up, so I have a career that truly belongs to me today. During this time, I also had a boyfriend.

Once I met a person from the same village by chance on the street. The person told me that my parents are in good health now. My elder brother is married and is now the father of two children. My younger brother has not been admitted to college. Underemployment.

I have already sent the 20,000 yuan back home, and every Chinese New Year or holiday, I will also send a few thousand yuan back. Last month, I took my boyfriend back home with me. The moment they saw me, my parents had complicated expressions, but I could see regret in their eyes. In that moment, years of resentment seemed to disappear. I couldn't help but ran over and hugged them, and the tears couldn't help flowing down.

Live with a good heart

A person may not be able to understand everything about other people throughout his life, but separation is an opportunity. Only under such an opportunity can you have the intention and possibility to get close to the inner world of those people, and only then can you understand the importance of those people to you.

Once something passes, it can only be remembered forever. The past is past, whether good or bad, it is what happened. Since you can't start over again, why bother anymore? No one knows what will happen today next year. The world is impermanent, seize the moment, and face those who have hurt you with the mentality of repaying evil with kindness.

Ayang wanted to say to Jingjing, after all, they are your parents. Maybe they have ignored you for 18 years, but after all, they have also raised you for 18 years. In the years since you left, you have never come back. Have you also ignored their feelings? From this point of view, how are you different from them? Also, have you ever thought about what kind of mess you left behind when you ran away from that wedding? How did your family explain to the man the 20,000 yuan you took away?

In fact, at the beginning of life, everyone is destined to have some experiences waiting for him. The experiences God arranges for us are equal, and extraordinary experiences cannot wait. Before the age of 18, Jingjing's life was not happy, but now that she thinks about it, is it true that she never had joy and happiness when she was with her parents? Are the past 18 years really too hard to look back on? I hope you can calm down and think about it carefully. I believe you will definitely find a moment of happiness.

Do you still have anyone you hate? Do you still have any unresolved grudges? If so, please think about it, is there really no way to bury the hatchet? We should live with a good heart. Whatever we have in our heart, we will see what we get. Forgiving others is actually leaving space in your own heart for recovery. If you still have the opportunity to turn hostility into friendship, please take advantage of it.