When I see her, I will think of the scene where she was with that boy... It is obviously a fiction, but I am tortured. In the summer of 2002, I had just graduated from college and applied for my current company. At that time, I was single and carefree. Life was colorful in my eyes, and my life could almost be described as "heartless".

When I was in college, I had two girlfriends. One was a girl from a medical school near our school, and the other was a netizen from Beijing.

Maybe I was too young at that time and my understanding of love was immature. It was inevitable that two people would be noisy when they were together, but no one was willing to accommodate the other, so the relationship gradually faded away after the love period. , two relationships, neither of which lasted more than a year.

It’s funny now that I think about it. The reason I broke up with that girl from the medical school was just because I thought she was too clean. Every time we ate together, she would watch me wash my hands, and then wipe the cups and plates inside and out with paper towels several times. I am a relatively casual person. I always feel that there is no need to take some insignificant things too seriously, as long as they can be passed over, otherwise life will be too tiring. Later, the girl asked me why I broke up with her, but I hesitated and said nothing.

The netizen from Beijing met in a chat room. The two of them were able to reach consensus on many issues. Later, they slowly started talking about their relationship, and they actually had a very tacit understanding across the Internet. During that time, I even thought, is this the best state of love? Two people care about each other without interfering with each other. Their feelings are feelings, pure and happy.

Until now, I still don’t understand how important love is in women’s hearts. Are they desperate for love or can they give up love for other reasons?

I met that netizen several times, and we felt very good about each other. If she hadn’t repeatedly asked me to go to Beijing after graduation, maybe I would have actually gone. I don’t want to be restricted, and she’s asking me to do this and that even before things get better. If we really get together, wouldn’t I lose myself? So, we started to quarrel while chatting, and then gradually lost contact. I think she has also lost patience and hope for me!

Sometimes I think that the reason why I can easily find a reason to break up is that the relationship itself is not strong enough. In the eyes of outsiders, I have many reasons to break up with Yingying (pseudonym), but I always think Can't leave.

Yingying is my "snatched" girlfriend. I met her in my second year at work. At that time, I had already lived a free and uninhibited life for a year, and my heart was beginning to move, and I also hoped that I could have a girl by my side. At that time, I didn't think about marriage at all. For me, marriage was so far away that there was no shadow at all. I just feel lonely inside and want to find a girl to fall in love with.

When we met Yingying, she had a boyfriend, and it was said that they were already talking about getting married. At first, I didn't expect to have an emotional entanglement with a girl who had a boyfriend. I just thought that I could get along with her better. In private, I also had some evil intentions. I felt that dating a girl with a boyfriend would not be a burden and I wouldn't have to worry about being pestered. superior.

Who would have thought that it wasn’t her that was pestering me, but me that was pestering her! Maybe I deserve to be unlucky, because Yingying was having trouble with her boyfriend that time, which gave me the opportunity to get closer to her, get to know her, and then fall in love with her.

I don’t know exactly why Yingying was having trouble with her boyfriend. At first, I didn’t want to know at all. Later, I didn’t want to know because I was afraid that I would be jealous if I knew more. But I know that Yingying has a deep affection for that boy. A woman may never forget her first man!

Yingying is not very beautiful, but she has a lot of personality. Her unique temperament makes her very attractive. She doesn't speak much, is gentle and quiet, and has her own ideas. Girls like this are rare, and it makes sense to fall in love with her.

During that time, Yingying often came to see me, but rarely talked about what happened with her boyfriend. She just told me that she had a fight with her boyfriend and was very unhappy, and she hoped that I could accompany her.

At that time, I never thought about what would happen to her. It would be interesting to drink tea and chat with a girl I like. What's more, she would lend me my shoulder to lean on when she was sad. Although I was sad to see her sad, it felt good to have a nice girl leaning on my shoulder.

The relationship with Yingying changed very suddenly. I didn’t know what happened between her and her boyfriend. But one day she suddenly came to me and told me that she and her boyfriend broke up and she would never be with her again. Not wanting to see him, she asked, "Xiaobo, are you willing to fall in love with me?" She looked at me seriously. Happiness came so suddenly, I was a little confused and couldn't react for a while. So, when Yingying offered to stay at my place that night, I refused.

Actually, I didn’t act as a gentleman for a few days. A week later, I had a relationship with Yingying. Frankly speaking, I had not completely fallen in love with her at that time, because my feeling told me that she was definitely not completely done with her boyfriend.

That’s right. A month or two later, Yingying told me that her boyfriend apologized to her and hoped that the two of them could reconcile. At that time, I felt sour in my heart. She said thank you for my love and care for her. I said "As long as you are happy," but I thought in my heart: Who am I? A stuntman?

Emotional games really cannot be played, and they are not fun, because you never know how this kind of game will end. Maybe you are hurt, maybe you are hurt by someone else, maybe you are both hurt. It's just that I didn't take it into consideration at all at that time. I just wanted to take the initiative and the winner's position in this emotional entanglement.

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Yingying has a crush on me. Otherwise, she wouldn’t look for me even if she was angry or replaced. Therefore, Yingying does not reject my pursuit. Maybe he really likes me, maybe he feels guilty for me. But I can't control that much. As long as she can keep my appointment, I will be very excited.

Sometimes Yingying pays the bill when we eat together. I have seen a photo of her and her boyfriend in her wallet. Sometimes she will tell me about things between her and her boyfriend. I don't know if she did this on purpose, she was too embarrassed to refuse directly, and she used this method to make me quit.

However, once two people have physical contact, no matter what they do, they will be different from ordinary friends. Although Yingying wanted to express her rejection, because the two of us had been so close, everything between us became ambiguous, and even her rejection was laced with a flickering desire to refuse.

Gradually, I began to be jealous of what happened between Yingying and her boyfriend. I would be unhappy when she told me about them again, "Don't tell me about your affairs in the future. I don't want to know." ! "Because every time after we break up, things about Yingying and her boyfriend will come to my mind involuntarily. Although I have never seen them together, after all, I have been with Yingying, and I think about her and other men. Being that close to me... I just can't stand it! That time when I had dinner with Yingying, I unreasonably grabbed her wallet, turned over their photo, and put it in with the white side facing out.

Although I am usually a cheerful person, I am not ambiguous when it comes to choosing a girlfriend. I will not make do with a flawed relationship. Seeing that I was really moved, my buddy advised me to retreat, saying that a girl like Yingying who has a boyfriend is not worthy of me. Theoretically speaking, I would not be serious about a girl who is hesitating between two boys. Under normal circumstances, I can definitely find a lot of faults with Yingying. But I don’t know why, but this time it’s something evil. I feel more and more good about Yingying, and I want to get her completely.

So, I launched a more fierce offensive against Yingying. Later, her boyfriend knew about my existence and everything that had happened between us, and their relationship turned red again. I saw it in my eyes and felt happy in my heart, and kept telling Yingying that her boyfriend "cannot trust a man like this for the rest of his life." Gradually, Yingying's feelings began to shift toward me.

After half a year of hard work, I finally succeeded in "snatching" Yingying. Although my family is in Jinan, I haven't lived with my parents since I started working. Yingying took her things from the boy to mine, and we started a formal love and cohabitation life.

Objectively speaking, my conditions are good. Both in appearance and ability, I belong to the excellent type. Although I am a bit lazy in the details of my life, I am meticulous in my work and I am highly valued by my leaders in the company. My family situation is also good, my parents are both retired leaders of the work unit. Yingying's conditions are very average. Her family is out of town and she works alone in Jinan. Since she only has a college degree, her job and income are average.

Some friends felt that I was not worth it when they saw that I had spent so much time just for an ordinary girl like Yingying. But I felt that I had found a rare treasure. Although I had come into contact with many girls, I only had Yingying. Gave me the feeling of true love. I don't want to be restricted by women, and I regard Yingying's control over me as a great blessing. I don't think it is a restriction, but a reflection of her love for me. I used to keep saying that I would get married late and even said that I would be single, but now I started to yearn for marriage...

Last spring, I was sent by my company to work in the Qingdao office for three months. Although I know that Yingying is not as devoted to me as I am to her, I have never had any doubts about her feelings. After all, I snatched her away from other men. I can give her time to completely forget the past and put all her thoughts on me. I am full of confidence in our future.

It was good at the beginning. Although Yingying and I were separated from each other, our relationship did not change at all. We talked on the phone every day, and text messages continued. Yingying said that she was looking forward to my return every day, and would work hard to run our small family when everything stabilized... I was happy every day during those days, just walking on the road. I would smile unconsciously every day, feeling that a better life is waving to me.

Unexpectedly, our relationship encountered a series of troubles. During the three months in Qingdao, I came back several times and took Yingying to meet my parents. Yingying doesn't like to talk much, and her parents don't have a very good impression of her. They said that I can find a girl who is much better than Yingying, and told me not to be blind and to take my time in getting married. I'm not too worried about my parents, because as long as I persist, they won't object to it to the end.

But one day my parents called me when I was still in Qingdao and said that they saw Yingying and a boy together, and they looked very close. I called Yingying and she said that she was shopping with her girlfriend at that time. I thought maybe my parents had seen the wrong person and didn't take this matter to heart. However, after returning from the Qingdao office, a buddy also told me that he saw Yingying with a boy, "I looked like he was her ex-boyfriend."

I didn't ask Yingying, But he started to pay attention to her movements, and found out that she was going to see that boy! I flew into a rage and yelled at her to give me an explanation. She was still so quiet, saying that the boy took the initiative to look for her, and she didn't agree to meet her at first, but the boy kept looking for her, and sometimes even waited downstairs, saying that he just gave her up to me because of a fever, so that she could start again. make decisions. "I felt very uncomfortable during that time. I went to your house and the coldness of your parents made me feel even more uncomfortable, so I met him and just chatted. I didn't tell you because I thought you were out there and I didn't want you to worry."

I know that I should believe what Yingying said. She is not a liar, but when I see her, I will think of the scene where she was with that boy...it is obviously a lie. , but I was tortured. When I feel unhappy, I will find faults and quarrel with Yingying, which makes both of us exhausted physically and mentally.

Two days of smoke-filled days have passed.

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