In order to have a happy marriage, the timetable should definitely be advanced to before marriage, and you should carefully examine whether he is the "him" you want?

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Marriage motives and values ​​​​sober

Event: The fairy tale of Gao Xiaosong VS Shen Huan getting married within 3 days of meeting each other was finally revealed 3 years later News of the two breaking up. Gao Xiaosong later responded in a low-key manner and did not provide any explanation for the reasons for the divorce. Gao Xiaosong said: "We are 7 years apart and have only been in love for 3 days. Basically, we fell in love as soon as we met and married her when we were passionate."

Symptom: Both parties failed to negotiate the terms of the marriage. Carry out adequate communication and adjustment on deep-seated factors. 1. Motive for marriage? Post-marital problems caused by rushing into a marriage without careful examination are often difficult to reconcile. 2. Values ​​and character? The survey shows that among all the related factors leading to divorce, differences in values ​​are the most fundamental reason. 3. Marriage, rights and obligations of both parties? Having only one love often lacks the necessary consideration for the obligations that should be fulfilled in marriage.

Tips: If you are in love with him and are inseparable, calm down for two minutes and think clearly about the following N things: Do you know his family background? Are you sure you can live in harmony with his family? Are you sure you both have the same reasons for wanting to get married? Can you name a few habits he has developed since childhood? Are they within your "reconcilable" range?

Recently, a kind of "personality premarital examination" has quietly emerged in cities such as Nanjing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, Zhengzhou, Shenyang, and Wuxi. "Personality premarital examination" helps both parties understand their own personality characteristics and the degree of complementarity and compatibility of their personalities through professional psychological tests, thereby giving suggestions for harmonious coexistence. As a supplement to premarital physical examination, "personality premarital examination" has attracted more and more attention from people who are concerned about the quality of marriage.

The running-in period

Beginners always have to "run-in" slowly for a while. After getting used to each other's habits, this pot of soup becomes "gluttonous".

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Background habits adapt to each other

Event: He Yong, one of the "Three Heroes of Magic Rock", and female writer Yin Lichuan got married in September last year. First divorce, marriage ended after 4 months. The reaction of both parties was low-key. The outside world generally believed that they were both unsuitable for marriage. They may soon find that marriage will only tie the hands and feet of both parties.

Symptoms: During the running-in period, conflicts usually arise in superficial living habits: such as work and rest time, daily habits, food tastes, time concepts, etc. Almost all life details need to be adjusted and "neutralized".

Tips: Two people who have just gotten married actually have to go through all kinds of small details of life and whether they are willing to adapt to each other. This is similar to the way roommates get along with each other in a college dormitory. You may be able to "turn a blind eye" to your roommate in college, but you can't help but want to correct him. You can prepare a new rule that takes both sides into account to neutralize their different habits.

The "time difference" between men and women

When a marriage reaches the "separation period", sexual incompatibility is also a major culprit that causes a red light in marriage. Men and women have different ways of doing things, resulting in different views of sexiness. A man can handle many things at once, so he may be angry one moment and be gentle with his wife the next. And this just might irritate the wife even more. Women are emotional animals and require "unity of temperament". The pace is relatively slow and the "time difference" exists objectively. What they want is mutual understanding rather than complaint.

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